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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29907822">To Catch A Dream</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoDatLikeDat/pseuds/DoDatLikeDat'>DoDatLikeDat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Unbroken [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Justice League (2017), Supergirl (TV 2015), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Wynonna Earp (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alex is a badass Director, And Natalie Gortman, AriaMan Angst, Canon LGBTQ Female Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Danvers Sisters, Did I just make a ship name for Ruby Arias?, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gortman Siblings, Gun Violence, I cant wait for season six, I don't know the name but Winn and James babies, I love how both Danvers Sisters are gay, I love this and i hope you do, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Jewish Character(s), M/M, Natalie is a mini Me of Lena Luthor but just nonbinary and homeless, Olsen Siblings, Sanvers Children - Freeform, Sanvers Household, Secret Sanvers Pride Event, Self harm/suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide is a big one in the first like ten chapters so be prepared and Im sorryyyyy, SuperCorp Household, SuperCorp relationship - Freeform, The Gortman Storyline is so so so very close with the Luthor household oops, supercorp children, yes i did</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:27:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>44,481</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29907822</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoDatLikeDat/pseuds/DoDatLikeDat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
            <p>"Hi, so- I know so much about the TV Show, Supergirl, I even met David and Jeremy in real life! Best day ever!!!!! Idk what I'm doing to ask this since it’s SO personal to some people whether they're a survivor, it happened in their family or something but can you maybe do a chapter with a character being suicidal or having those sort of thoughts?? I'm so so so sorry if you don't want to since Kara, Melissa Benoit as the actor, has been a survivor of domestic abuse before, Chyler Leigh went through her own past and stuff but thank you so much!!”</p>
          </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Danvers &amp; Maggie Sawyer, Alex Danvers/J'onn J'onzz | Hank Henshaw, J'onn J'onzz &amp; M'gann M'orzz, James "Jimmy" Olsen/Winn Schott Jr., Kara Danvers &amp; Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Lois Lane/Clark Kent, Lucas Snapper and Kara Danvers, Micheal Que/Adam Snapper, Natasha Romanoff/Wanda Maximoff, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Querl Dox/Nia Nal, Ruby Arias &amp; Alex Danvers, Ruby Arias &amp; Samantha "Sam" Arias, Ruby Arias/Natalie Gortman, Samantha "Sam" Arias/Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Samantha "Sam" Arias/Lucy Lane, Waverly Earp &amp; Nicole Haught, Wynonna Earp &amp; Doc Holliday</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Unbroken [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1860037</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. If You Need Me Part One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Hi, so- I know so much about the TV Show, Supergirl, I even met David and Jeremy in real life! Best day ever!!!!! Idk what I'm doing to ask this since it’s SO personal to some people whether they're a survivor, it happened in their family or something but can you maybe do a chapter with a character being suicidal or having those sort of thoughts?? I'm so so so sorry if you don't want to since Kara, Melissa Benoit as the actor, has been a survivor of domestic abuse before, Chyler Leigh went through her own past and stuff but thank you so much!!”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay so I got this prompt awhile ago and I honestly don’t know what to do. I do want to satisfy the needs of each and every one of you but the TV Show isn't this “dark” but that means it's not that light hearted either. Supergirl has covered racism, mental illness, emotional and physical abuse, transphobia, conversion therapy and telling the right from wrong but I'm going to try and do my best on this. I'm so so so sorry if this offends or does anything to anyone, it's a prompt and I'm trying my best!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Avengers Tower, New York City</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>January 5th, 2022</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Time on Natasha' phone: 3:29 a.m</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> I wish I could fix it, I wish I knew what to say, but everything feels like a lie these days</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Don't know how not to feel that way, but everyone feels like a liar these days, I don't know how not to feel that way</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But if you need me, I'll be right there, When you're dreaming all your nightmares, I'll come tackle the monsters,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I'll find where they hide in the nighttime If you need me, I'll be right there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When you're happy and when you're scared, I can still be your shoulder, I'll be by your side, even if I'm not next to you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natasha wakes up to the sound of her phone – her actual phone; not a burner phone or flip phones she uses occasionally for what sort of work she does in the meantime – but she falls over the bed, cursing in Russian, “поиметь!” And hearing a little chuckle discriminating of how humorous she must have looked, rolled in a bed sheet and rolling off – yesh it must have looked funny a little bit – but the second she picked up, she knows something is wrong “Romanoff.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Мама иди домой! Мама не перестанет плакать, пожалуйста, помоги!”</em> Her eyes widen in seconds while feeling a pressure on her chest from fear, swallowing her own fear while getting up the next, leaning her elbow on the bed and kicking the sheet off of her while Wanda turns over, frowning in her sleep with hearing how desperate the voice sounds over the speaker.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Harley, hey, English. Tell me what is wrong and I'll get you help but can you get one of your Mommies on the phone please?” She's in leggings, slipping a sports bra over her head as Wanda rolls, getting ready as well and not needing an explanation “F.R.I.D.A.Y., get me Tony Stark on the line, I do not care if he's in bed or taking a shit, protocol 28369 now.” She barks out, sliding a tablet in her arms with putting the phone on speaker, pressing buttons an looking up “Lena Luthor” on Google just in case they missed anything of the past twenty four hours but the search engine switches it to Lena Danvers-Luthor and she smiles at the reminder, tossing Wanda a shirt</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“M-mama?” Right, focus.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Did you hear me, child? Where's Alex? Or Maggie?” He hiccups before letting out a sob of cry of his own and she can just see that he's holding his head in her hands and this isn't good. Most children or people under eighteen don't get diagnosed of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) but with what Harley experienced of sexual or physical abuse, physiological trauma and flashbacks…..of Harley spirals in a panic attack and there isn't anyone there, that's not good. “M-Mama, Mama I'm scared! They won't stop crying but Jer-Jeremiah is-is, he's sleeping still but I'm so, s-so scared!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Fuck. Swallowing past the lump in her throat of her son crying out to her, she passes Wanda the tablet when she's fully dressed before they're running down the hallway, tying her hair in a ponytail, zipping her boots up on the side and trying to focus with Harley crying on the other line, “Okay, sweet boy I know you are scared and that is completely okay. That's okay. I'm here, just listen to me, I need a little bit more to work with, okay? Because you can't-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Build a house with just a h-hammer.” He gets most of the words out clearly but she can hear him sniffling and trying to talk clearer to get her to understand and she soothes him with Tony coming out of the elevator and huh, he wasn't asleep. She knows some of the missions and taking care of Morgan hasn't exactly been easy but he takes his frustration and stress of not doing enough in the world down in his lab to tinker “Okay, what do we got, a crying kid, nothing on the tabloids and a concerned Mama bear?” Wanda moves her hand of red magic around and seconds later he yelps of some sort of pain, rubbing his side and Harley giggles a little over the line while Tony pulls out his glass like tablet, sort of like a phone and in ten years, that'll be the Iphone 13 or something.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Oh…..oh crap, kid.” He exhales heavily, sitting in the chair at the dining table where they all hang out, showing it with “<em>LENA DANVERS-LUTHOR BESTFRIEND DIED OF SUICIDE”</em> with big, flinching words and Wanda rubs her temple, shaking her head</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That raises the bar. Suicide. Children don't necessarily understand or why people even think of hurting themselves, (kids trip, they fall out of trees, scrape their knees on pavement and that sort of thing but if you asked a child to do that on purpose, they'll most usually ask “why” or “that's silly!”) but not Harley. He understands. He's older, he grew up in the Red Room, he is older than he ever should be. “Harley? You still there buddy?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Y-yes. Are…..I know you're busy gettin’ the bad guys b-but can you come? Mommy won't stop crying. She's screaming really loud.” And they did, it was around two or three in the morning when Harley called them, crying and asking to be picked up but when they step out of the Quinjet, hand in hand with Wanda walking across the DEO helicopter helipad platform, heels clacking and nodding her head to the Second in Command, Susan Vasquez behind the Director of the DEO, Alex Danvers-Sawyer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Short black and a curl on her eyebrow, she turns, serious as ever since Natasha met the woman but a sense of melancholy and sadness splayed on her features, “Natasha, thank you for coming.” And a child, Eleanor she thinks is her name wrapped in a blanket and in her arms, red natural hair down and chubby cheeks but her eyes are down and not in the mood to say hello but whimpers, hiding her face in her Aunt’s neck. “Shhh, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I assume you have heard the news of which why you are here…..the family is in the building but they're mostly in here. Follow me.” Natasha isn't scared easily despite how she grew up and lives her life but with her family hurt, scared is when Wanda squeezes her hand while following behind with Tony, Pepper and Steve Rogers as well</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The family is scattered and not just physically but with Kara Danvers, in brown jeans and a light blue button up with her hair raked down from stress walking around and a baby in her arms, pacifier and diaper. Lena Luthor is the next where they look for but she's on the couch, asleep and with a much older girl in her arms, staring into nothing. Blank. Both of them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena Luthor is a indestructible, powerful and one of the most inspiring people in the world, not just because she is a business woman who can handle her own in a meeting, against a man, against another company to take her shares, against herself to push herself to be the best and only goodness in this world. But because she has changed, she still wants to change and do better, into a Mother, into a wife and into a friend as many she opened up to a certain blonde, Kara Danvers</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Their friendship grew into something more and then their love story as a Super and a Luthor blossomed into years of a near death experience for the family, Lena was kidnapped and held hostage of CADMUS, Lillian Luthor and then sold to the Red Room where women were trained to be the most deadliest assassins, killers and hit women of all time. And Lena was one of them but after six months, she made it back to the USA and used a old radio for morse code, a signal specifically to the DEO and she was captured, thankfully.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But then with the Red Room, they were making people, literally making people out of boxes and what made the Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes, a serum for abilities but yours truly, Lillian Luthor, stoke the serum and made it for aliens, especially for Kryptonians. Lillian wanted Supergirl dead so she made children in containment for the serum to be in their bloodstream and they were both with all powers of super strength, flying and oddly enough, mind reading, invisibility and with the oldest child, Harley, he can manipulate the weather of fire, water, nature or Earth.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So a near death experience later, Winn coming back from the future to help find Lena, James came back from Cavintown with going back and forth from being with his family and his hometown almost monthly, Maggie Sawyer and Alex Danvers getting back together for another try adopting almost all the children, the Super Friends turned into a Super Family with thirteen children.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The twins, El Marayah and Kierath match their parents genes, Ellie has green eyes and the same blonde hair as Kara whole Kierath has long dark hair and blue eyes as Kal El and Kara Zor-El. The twins are oddly unique, can read minds and go through walls even at the age of five but they're in the play pen, brown blocks, trains and doing puzzles with their younger cousin, (Lena and Kara adopted him, so more like their little brother) Quinn, brown hair and softer greyish eyes and who was originally Samantha Arias’s son and Ruby’s younger brother</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The boys, Harley, Jeremiah, Jamie, Jaxton and Jonathon are at the rather large dining table in the room, half are in their underwear, they seem to be busy at work with fists gripping colour markers and scribbling on paper with Maggie and Alex at the table, wrapped in each other's arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I miss Mommy,” Kayilyah whispers to nobody, closing her honey spoken eyes to the unspoken sleep. When Lena was in the Red Room, she met many people and those many people did make it out with being saved but someone didn't, the one who stuck close as a friend was Blaire Tucker. Blaire was a friend when they were taken out of the bad system, she went into treatment first but they always remained friends even when Blaire went up and down the coast for her construction and semi truck driving jobs that she adored. But something what Blaire struggled with was her mental health.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Many people do. Some people don't. Some are survivors, some have witnessed, some have had family members pass away due to well, suicide. And Blaire was strong, she was so strong but even the tallest people slouch sometimes. And they got the call at one am earlier today that Blaire committed suicide in her basement in her house at Texas. She didn't have the best relationship from the past trauma and abuse she witnessed as a little girl but her Father called Lena to tell the news. “I'm so sorry, Lena.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She dropped the phone. But Lena nods, knowing her brother, not Lex, a caring and a loving brother, Tony is there, sitting beside her with an arm around her shoulder and a kiss to her temple. “Hey, sweetheart.” His beard scratches her cheek, in his natural blue long sleeve with some band name on the front and black jeans, just holding her and she doesn't have words but he doesn't push her, his hand on Kayilyah’s cheek to rub her tear away, “Do you remember me? I'm Tony.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She nods, silent as well. “I'm sorry, Kayilyah. You rest for now, okay?” And they did, falling asleep like that but Kara and Tony met eyes a little bit later, worried for the young Luthor.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They're worried for all of them but when a love so ferocious, so deep, Lena doesn't let it go and not for a second even if it's a mad man, killing brother or a brainwashed, mentally ill and the sweetest person as a bestfriend. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Lena puts Kayilyah down into the bunk bed, trying to not bonk her own head and wake the little girl, pulling the covers over her. Kayilyah hasn't left her side all day since Blaire’s father dropped them off, in pajamas and barely awake from the few hour drive from Texas, she kisses her forehead softly and tries to not cry. Of course to make this harder, Kayilyah found….found Blaire, unconscious and not breathing with pill bottles surrounding her and why Mommy had a cut up shaving stick in her hand as well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But she checks on the other children, Natasha is in one of the bunks with Wanda on her side and Harley in the middle, his little fist curling into her shirt. Jonathan, Lois and Clark’s oldest son was the hardest to put down but he's in one of the bunks, fast asleep and arms around his younger brother, Jax and Jamie as well, Winn and James’s son.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sighing, she runs a hand over her face and looking out into the city. But she changes that when hearing J'onn somewhere in the building, super speeding and in seconds she's in the room beside the bunk room, sort of like a living room and beside Kara, snuggled close. Winn is the only one who jumps as Maggie places a stand behind her ear of the sudden whoosh! Sipping her tea mug and J'onn comes in a second later with Eliza, suitcase and all. “Mom, I didn't know you were coming,” Alex breathes out, taking her jacket, scarf and hugging her</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Of course, I wouldn't rather be here anywhere else.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“She won't say anything, not even to me“ Maggie hugs her next, squeezing gently and pulling back to gently wipe under her eyes from the tears. She and Lena are sister in laws legally but Lena is her little sister, she'll do anything for her and even if that is to try and teach both their children to ride a bike and even how hilarious it sounds with four year old twins and a six year old. But she also knows when to not push Lena into doing something even if it is being called by her secretary that she's too tired to be at work but can't call Kara herself due to her anxiety</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It's okay, she just needs a little time to process it that's all. She's probably in shock, sweetie.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But we are too.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eliza nods, pressing a kiss to her forehead and rubbing her thumb on the wet cheek. “I know that too. Everything you are feeling is okay and with this down time with the children, maybe we can try and open her up to se how she's doing. She's a little angry, I can see that but with all that anger, there's pain somewhere inside and being in pain is worse than being mad so she covers it. That's all. We just have to peek and find her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena rolls her red rimmed eyes at that, hearing the whole thing and one look to Kara is leave me alone and not even the blonde is strong enough to argue with her wife when she's grieving herself. Her chair scrapes back, going over to the couch instead. Great, look what you did she thinks and Lena’s lip wobbles and looks down, all the emotions are running high, they haven been all day but she shakes, holding a few pinched fingers to her eyes but she does say anything. But she wobbled out, “She’s really gone, isn't she?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eliza nods, taking Kara’s seat to try and get Lena to open up, she loves talking about herself so so much, (she hates it) and with that, walls come up but Eliza tilts her chin up, wobbling chin and tear tracked cheeks. “We’re here, Lena We are all here, honey. You're not alone and you will never be alone and not with this, okay? We all loved and adored, Blaire just how we remember her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But that isn't what is bothering her, when you're in a life or death experience, all you think about is to get back home safe and see your family. And lean on people, humans are intelligent and natural beings to society, needing to communicate with others and….she sort of fell in love with Blaire. She never thought she would see Kara again but that doesn't mean she didn't stop loving Kara if she knew she was going to die in the Red Room. She knew in some part she would live but with the sexual abuse and trauma Lillian put her through again? She needed someone to lean on.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena struggles with trying to keep the tears at bay with staring at her and Eliza’s clapped hands, she ended thought she would have a loving, caring Mother in her life again but here she is. Keeping her face okay, her eyebrows pinch together and gel her necklace on her neck that were Blaire’s and she's gone. She isn't coming back. She's not ever going to see Blaire again. But she looks up, guilt, shame and pain on her face as her voice shakes, “I loved her, Mom.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara knows this. Alex does, James, Tony, all of them do. And it wasn't cheating, it wasn't manipulating Kara to be together again, it was her and Blaire just trying to get day by day and some point in all of that, they did fall in love. Sex wasn't on the list since they were being abused and assaulted almost every other day whether they fought the men off and cried until he stopped, it was love and intimacy because she's human and she needed someone desperately or she wouldn't have made it out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eliza tilts her chin up, eyes sure and sincere because she fell in love with a woman, Gale, back in Midvale but she's battling pancreatic cancer right now and she shouldn't be in love, she shouldn't be because Jeremiah is still out there and her heart belongs to him but she's only human too. “I know.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena lets out a sob, watery and rough in her throat, letting herself lean forward and she's in her Mom’s arms, shaking fingers on her back before she's holding onto her shirt and she cries like she hasn't in months. “It's okay, let it out. Just let it out.” And after the crying, Kara moves her to the couch, Lena’s fist clenching her shirt and hiccups in the air while rubbing her back and she's asleep. “Anybody want coffee?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Did you know?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara nods, sipping her mug. “Yeah, I knew. I always knew, I just….when Lena loves something or someone, you have to let her figure it out herself or she'll deny it and I didn't want to be the one to tell her that she should have been with Blaire even after she came here again.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So you didn't mind Lena loved someone else when she was…..there? In Russia?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara smiles, numb. “Of course not. People were already suggesting for me to get with someone else and it wasn't even six months. She's the love of my life and my twin flame but Blaire was different, a different type of bond and I'm so glad she opened up to her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex is the one to wake up screaming that night, after the talk of the funeral, when the services and memorial days will be happening in the spring, after how they are going to tell the children or if they aren't, after how almost one of them cried each and it was close to five in the morning they went to sleep. But a lamp Is turned on next to her, the yellow dim making her eyes focus on Maggie, a hand on her chest grounding her and her soft spoken voice, “Hey, hey, hey, it was just a dream. You're here.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She gasps out raggedly, hands flying everywhere before she's kicking the sheets off and blankets and running past her sleeping family in the bunk beds and in sleeping bags, barely pushing the door open before she's throwing up. She can't seem to stop even when Maggie puts her hair in a little hippy bun with her shaved sides are sticky with sweat and it feels like she's out of her body, taking off her shirt and bra and shorts</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ally! Ally, hey, hey, here. Here.” She guides her to the toilet again, rubbing her back between her shoulder blades and trying to close the door since most of the children will wake up to her throwing up but Natalie comes in instead, sympathy coating and sitting down beside her, whispering in her ear. Alex has a sensitive case of hypothyroidism, it's a condition where a body can't produce enough of certain hormones, she can't carry children past eight weeks, she can't work sixteen hour days like she could and she has anxiety nausea</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Which means when she's anxious about something and she can't control it, night sweats, vomiting and diarrhea is on the plate for the next twenty four hours and that's what she experienced as well with her drug addictions and Natalie went through that as well with drug abuse. “Okay, can you get a wet towel Maggie? And advil or maybe tylenol?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She nods, coming back in minutes with a glass of water, a tylenol bottle and a soaking wet towel, cold, if Alex is over heating and still throwing up they mostly have to keep her cool. Natalie has Alex in half of their lap, their fingers moving the hair away from her eyes, “Thank you, Mags. If she's ready, we'll move her back to your guys’s bed, okay? But she's still kind of hot,” They take the towel, rubbing it on her forehead and neck</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mags?” Alex whimpers when Maggie nods, going to give them space since they first few times she found Alex in the bathroom, shivering and throwing up constantly, Alex was embarrassed of her insecurities to always be….sharp, strong at work and at home. But that opened her up to Maggie a lot more though she hated being seen that vulnerable it brought them closer as friends and as a couple, “Stay with me?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie smiles, nodding while sitting beside her and with her back to the tub. When she came back to National City, she fell in love with Alex again, she will always be in love with Alex even if a ring said that or not. It doesn't to her, they are married with them going to the court house and signing the papers but the words ‘sickness and health’ still matters. “Of course, baby. I'm right here. I'll stay with you, okay?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay,”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's a few days later in the DEO when Blaire's father comes back, dropping off a suitcase and a cheque of money that says “For Lena and Kara Danvers-Luthor” words like “child support” and “court is already scheduled ” and “cheque's will he sent every month” while Lena reads it over and asks J'onn where he went, “Lena, you and I both know he isn't coming back, right?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He didn't.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena’s lawyer, Mrs. Stephanie Bowes read out Blaire’s legal action if anything happens to her or her family, Lena and Kara would immediately be given Kayilyah Amelia Tucker and Jacqueline Bolanle Tucker into their care until whatever else happens but if her father won't take them then……then adoption papers is on the way and they do need to make a decision. And soon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And what did you say?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena huffs, throwing her hands up while pacing the room, “Uh, I don't know? Thank you? Their Mom is gone, you're leaving the country and Id like it so much if you didn't leave?! I mean what are we gonna do, you're backed up on Supergirl emergencies, Jess is taking L-Corp over for me until we're done, Alex is….is comatose! And Clark is being weird, not only with me but everyone?! Like no, I love your granddaughters very much and Id rather like if they didn't go into the foster system because it sucks?!” She got too close to the table, stubbing her toe and cursing loud enough</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ouch, son of a-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, okay, I hear you.” Kara soothed, pulling them down to the couches and the other one where Kayilyah is napping, puffy hair free and still in her pajamas. It's only an excuse to massage Lena’s legs and feet while pressing her fingers hard and tender in her soles until Lena let's out a breath of relief, arms above her head loosely, “You don't want them to go into the foster system?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Did I say that?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She smiles, kissing her bare knee. “It's okay if you don't want to but I want to keep them. It's not much of a legal matter, I don't really care- I do care of what Blaire wanted for them but they're family,”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“They are.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So…..”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I'm just so scared, I don't know what she would have wanted.” And that's what is bothering both of them as Kara hums knowingly of how that feels, the big question is why, why couldn't have Blaire come to them for help? Why didn't she call her therapist? Why did her father have to go? Why did she most importantly have to go? It's frustrating and painful and it won't end, the cycle of why, the pain of it and how come? Why can't life be easy? Why does it have to be so hard, so challenging, so hard even with their legacy of good, peace and hope.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know. But you knew her as much as everyone else, she trusted you with her daughters.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You too.” Lena reassures quickly enough but Kara smiles gently, shaking her head at that and they both know it's not true.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Not like you. She didn't love me like you two loved each other.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You're still mad?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara shakes her head, pulling her closer with their foreheads bumping and rubbing her shoulders and above her breastbones, “No, love. I'm not, you fell in love with a great woman, an amazing friend and the best mother to these two beautiful girls, you just didn't realize it. It's okay. You were hurt and you nodded a little bit of stitches.” She rolls her head as Lena kisses her cheek, her temple, above her eyebrow and she sighs. “Okay, keep going.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wanna fuck the pain away?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara slaps a hand over her mouth, exhausted eyes looking to Kayilyah. “Shhh, little ears. And I want to do anything to make you feel better but somehow I don't think that'll make you feel better.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So you do want to keep them?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena nods, kissing her lips this time. “I can't imagine them with anyone else. And I think I’m too selfish to let them go too so…..they're our nieces. They're our family.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, so, question.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie turns around, Angel in one arm and mixing their coffee with a spoon in and looking exhausted even with a big goofy grin on their face. Natalie Gortman is a child of the famous business Gortman family “Gortman Inc” that specializes into technology and business stocks sort of Lena’s company, L-Corp. But being born into a famous family comes with high expectations and Natalie, they by Nat when they came out nonbinary and lesbian back in 2019…..they messed around in highschool…..they have eleven siblings and they’re the second oldest…..it's great.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They’re turning twenty in August actually, they were dating Ruby for almost three and a half years before they broke up to co parent with Ruby after a school shorting happened, Ruby hid her pregnant from everyone but it was a life and death situation, she was taken to the hospital and she gave birth via C section to a six month premature baby. And they're teenage parents. And they're stressed to hell but with sitting down in front of Lena freaking Luthor, sipping their coffee and giving Angel her own milk bottle</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You're adopted.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks for reminding me, yes. And?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“S-sorry. But like, were you scared when you were adopted? Like did you understand all that well?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They smile, “Nervous about adopting the two girls?” Lena nods and they pat her hand softly, humming, “I don't think so, I remember feeling safe and sort of protected, I knew I could feel that way with my Mom and my little sister but there will be nervousness, um…..I went from two siblings to eleven so maybe prepare for some change with them coming into the family…..develop a lot of patience, if they're older it's sometimes difficult to get them to talk but don't push them. Do not push or they won't budge.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No pushing. Got it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And their own private time with you guys is good, children do like to interact with others but if they're acting up, they aren't acting up, they're usually stressed or not good with change so it's good to have one on one time like colouring, a movie…..you know. My parents did that, it was hard to juggle all of this, with a step Mom and my step siblings but it's easy when you have a rythym.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They shrug, kissing Angel’s head, they were homeless for the past thirteen years of their life before their biological father found them, their older brother, Derek, little sister, Ashley and their Mother on the streets and took them in and it's been…..rather swell. They don't have the best relationship with their Dayher since they blamed him most the time when they were in the streets, their parents broke up, their Mother couldn't find work and their their eviction notice was on the door and..….life crumpled.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Nat. I would ask Ruby what it was like but…..” Both their eyes go to Ruby on the couch, talking about something with Winn and Alex but it's the first time they've seen a real smile on both the adult' a face, explaining something with her hands waving around and her own smile. Ruby Arias is the same, long brown hair in a ponytail with matching coloured tan skin; she was a school shooting survivor and a bomb went off in the process which explains her wearing her back brace and she's still blind in one eye with a bandaid over her eyebrow</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But with everything considered, the funeral is next week and Blaire’s family, cousins, friends and friends from her work are coming as well, Eliza will be staying until everything settles down again and Alex is handing the reins to Colonel Haley since she did have to hand in her gun and badge for some family time off and it was a order to.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Kara rolls the ball toward Kayilyah after they just finished dinner time, Lois and Maggie cleaning up the dishes and cups from the past fee days, Ruby is in the rocking chair covered in a blanket and breastfeeding Angelena, it's a surprise when the girl blinks at her. Then at the ball. Then her again. But she pushes the ball toward Kara, she isn't much of a talker more of a hugger to everyone though James didn't mind the girl when she climbed in his lap and complaining she couldn't sleep</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kayilyah does a hand gesture with her closed fist doing backward clock motions on her chest but Kara isn't that great at the ASL yet, she's trying but it slips her mind usually- “She says she's sorry.” Someone tells her, maybe Eliza or Maggie but she cocks her head, trying to read the little girl in front of her as Kayilyah swallows, picking her white and green striped long sleeve shirt from her stuffed to hell suitcase, swallowing against her will. “Hey, look at me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You'll be mad,” She whispers instead, knees coming to her chest and her hair everywhere. Lena or herself haven't done her hair since she's a big girl and does it herself apparently but Kara hesitatingly pulls the soft, poofy black hair out of her eyes and they both sigh in relief when neither of them flinch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I won't be, Kayilyah. Come sit with me? Please?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She also doesn't like touch. Not when she's anxious or upset. But she nods, being picked up and Kara has her cradled in her arms, Lena beside her nursing a cup of hot steaming tea and looking more happy, scared and hopeful all in one. “We got this, right?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena kisses her cheek, nudging her nose with hers, in love. “El Marayah, darling.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Did you like it??</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Pancakes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Suicide isn't a trend. Suicide isn't something to joke, play around or laugh about and with all this misogynistic things online that i've been seeing, watching unravel and fighting back to protect. I never imagined saying this but some online apps are a gateway of two paths, protect and stand up or stay silent and watch but the comments of “women belong in the kitchen” or just 1950 sayings and discrimination against women disgusts me, the suicide jokes, the same jokes and things that hurt people are rising again and it makes me feel terrible </p><p> </p><p>I never thought I'd ever see it so much in a Women’s History month. And suicide. I will be handling this chapter parts that are going to last towards the month of April with delicate motions and caring as a god damned baby, if you have any suggestions if I send the wrong vibes or if I misinterpret something – please tell me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Main DEO Headquarters, National City</p><p> </p><p>January 25th, 2022</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Time on the Stove’s clock: 9:19 a.m</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Another Arias in the media spotlight is on the headlines the next morning is what makes Ruby…..go crazy. Just a little bit. Plus with dodging reporters, paparazzi and changing her phone number the past week and plus she can't even go to the Garage to hang out for some sort of comfort.</p><p> </p><p>Samantha Arias is on the headline of a newspaper of “Lena Luthor’s bestfrien that makes Ruby inevitably gag in her mouth, ignoring that part and flipping through the paper anyway, skimming over the paper. Words like “attacked”, “threatened” and “I was scared for my life” on one of her quotes, swallowing her fear. Samantha Arias is a CFO, is (was) a Mother and apparently a victim of an assault from her girlfriend, Lucy Lane’s ex military co-workers</p><p> </p><p>“And how long has she been hurting you?”</p><p> </p><p>Ruby swallows, feeling an instinct fear to just lie, lie, lie and lie about what really happened behind closed doors and how she got here: after Reign took over, Sam went crazy. Not crazy-crazy but with Lena Luthor being kidnapped , she started to to have a alcohol problem with drinking at work, her and Lucy Lane loved each other but a lot of the time they were just fighting and…..that's when the abuse came. Sam raised a hand at Lucy, threatening but Ruby shoved her out of the way, taking the slap. </p><p> </p><p>That was four months ago. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Awhile ago, I would say. It only started to get really bad the last few times- I slipped one of her sleeping pills in her tea after…..it happened, she fell asleep, Lucy didn't say anything but went upstairs.”</p><p> </p><p>“And then what did you do?”</p><p> </p><p>Her finger automatically goes to her neck that's covered in fingerprint and handprint bruises, “I cried. When I heard the bedroom door shut, I was still laying on the floor and I must have fell asleep because Quinn was waking me up and trying to get me off the staircase when I was pushed. It hurt, it felt like I broke my arm of how I was laying down on it. But I got up, called a friend, they didn't pick up and I climbed out of the window, running.”</p><p> </p><p>“And who did you go to?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her eye, one of them is bruised shut but they flicker up to Kara and Lena on the chairs, hand holding and teary eyed. “My Aunts, Kara and Lena. They were asleep but Kara opened the door, Quinn was crying when I put him down to take off my shoes and I couldn't see. I told them they didn't have to believe me but they did and I started crying. And I’m…..” She licks her lips, cracked. “I’m scared. I don't want to go back there, Maggie please.”</p><p> </p><p>She is in uniform and on the duty but she holds her bruised, injured hand, “Ruby, I will do everything I can to make sure you're safe.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And Maggie did mean her promise, Sam is going three months probation (doesn't matter where, the court order still stands), Quinn was placed under Kara and Lena's name of Quinn Elan Danvers-Luthor and Ruby is still Ruby Gisele Arias since she's over sixteen but they did get out of a abuse, narcissist household of what Sam turned into he and not Reign, but a monster.</p><p> </p><p>You can hate and love someone. Ruby does both with her Mother, she hates for being abused and used and manipulated over and over but it's her Mother, she's known her whole life, how she likes her coffee, when they had pancake day on Sundays, why she still loves her after all this time. Ruby swallows, pushing away the newspaper and starts to cook.</p><p> </p><p>“What's all of this?”</p><p> </p><p>Ruby turns, “Breakfast! Who doesn't love breakfast?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I do!” Jonathan, Clark and Lois Lane’s oldest son piped up, running over to see what's in the pan </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ruby, what really is this?” Lena asked, coming to help dish up all the food for the children </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, food?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You cooked for an whole damn army.”</p><p> </p><p>“I wanted to surprise you.” Which wasn't a lie, Lena has been stressed to the brim the past few days with trying to guide the company until Jess took the reins, sending Lena home late and a ton of paperwork to do. The company isn't what stressed her out it's someone telling her to slow down and go home, the kids are out of school at the moment and Kara was ordered by Snapped to not come in those doors “until you're so happy that it's disgusting, Danvers” </p><p> </p><p>So food is a distraction indeed for Kara who almost eats half of it before stopping herself, sipping her coffee, “Fuck, I forgot about the house.”</p><p> </p><p>Lena's eyes close shut, “Shit, I forgot about that.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“About what?” Alex asks, pouring her own cup of coffee and waiting for Maggie’s (disgusting) bagels to pop up in the toaster </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We're thinking of redoing the house or something or maybe renting a bigger house? We have no room, we don't have time to look for a house, I mean…..it's like we’re running on time,” Lena sighs, leaning her head on Kara’s shoulder before she’s wrapped in close. It is true though, they only have three bedrooms, five children now though three of them share the biggest room and Angel is in Ruby’s room and their room isn't big enough for the other two girls </p><p> </p><p>“So we’re having another sleepover?!” Kayilyah loves the DEO but it's not a permanent thing for her to be used to, the DEO is for emergencies, not an exact house for their family. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, baby. One more night.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“This is a bad idea.” Ruby whispers to no one.</p><p> </p><p>“It's not.” Natalie insisted, this was a good thing and a good start.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It is.” Georgia sing songs, kicking her feet up on the dash </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Not.” Sonny argues back, siding with Natalie with a fist bump </p><p> </p><p>“Is.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Guys, stop.” Adam whines, snapping his fingers lightly to tell them to knock it off, applying his lipstick again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Who’s idea was this even?” Natalie raises their hand up like they're in the classroom, answering. Natalie did think this was a great idea earlier this morning when they heard that Kara and Lena were struggling to find time to get a bigger house, “I mean it would be great, it would be a fresh start for all of us” Lena insisted, it was a great house with great memories but it just….doesn't feel like home anymore. Not quite. So Natalie gathered up Adam Snapper, Georgia Lord and Ruby to go grocery shopping, house shopping and…..house shopping.</p><p> </p><p>Georgia Lord – Maxwell Lord’s daughter – has been friends with them for years but with becoming even closer friends to all of them was the school shooting when Ruby risked hers for Georgia, that was a big thing and she is….different, yet the same as all of them. She likes dressing in bright, pastel clothes, she's almost as tall as Natalie but loves the most indie, R&amp;B songs ever.</p><p> </p><p>Luke Max – they don't even know how they met but Ruby met him in elementary school a few years back, he was poisoned with lead, it was a catastrophe. He was fine, healing fairly quickly and they reconnected when she moved back to Metropolis – but he's mostly stayed the same, hating Math class and in need of a tutor, he has a shaved head, dyed bright pink hair (the blonde hair was a no go) and a mullet. He should be born in the 80’s with his green nail polish, he has a mullet, the baggiest and weirdest clothes to wear…..he's awesome.</p><p> </p><p>And Adam Snapper – again, Ruby met him in elementary school but he's Lukas Snapper’s son actually from CATCO – everyone was sort of friends with him, he was a band kid, he’s obsessed with basketball and soccer (how he and Ruby connected in highschool), he was an art kid…..he's a social butterfly. “I think…..I know you're probably like going to laugh or like whatever but….but I’m gay.” He came out to Natalie first, running a hand through his shoulder length brown hair, swallowing but Natalie didn’t laugh, didn't out him, just asked if he was okay and wanted to go for a smoke </p><p> </p><p>One of them didn't make it out of the school shooting that happened at their school – Lawson Highschool – Micheal Que. Adopted when he was six into America from Ethiopia, Arsi with his four younger siblings, he grew up in adoption homes and a lot being homeless like Natalie was, he wanted to be a writer when he graduated, he wanted to do all of these things, writing on the sidewalk with chalk about what his dreams were but neither of them met him until highschool. </p><p> </p><p>“You need help?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No, I need a margarita. Yes, please.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sonny snorts, opening her door for her with Adam getting Angel out of the car with her carseat and putting her in the buggy spot, putting her blanket over her for….modest? Babies like blankets right? Adam leans on the thing before it moves making Natalie flick their head to move and taking charge to push the cart and Ruby walking with her cane and half hugging Sonny, “So do we have a list for this store?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ummm…..anything that speaks to Kara and Lena?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing?!”</p><p> </p><p>Natalie huffs, fixing Angel’s little blanket over her with those big grey, green eyes staring up at her, “We just have to get something nice for your Grandmas,” Natalie coos, pinching her cheek softly, and checking her gloves are okay, her hat, her pacifier. “Umm, well I was in a rush to try and keep the plan okay but the plan is dish towels, utinsels, anything that’s needed in a new home. They don’t need something fancy now, they just need to sleep in a bed for the night.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not fancy? Have you met Lena?”</p><p> </p><p>Ruby smirks, winking to Georgia. “What is this place called again?” She asks a second later, slipping her mind already with the amnesia, looking around at the bright lights, the sofas, the pillows on the walls and stacked neatly </p><p> </p><p>“Ikea.” Georgia reminds her, they all know how she'll ask the same thing six times and not care but they can't care either because her brain is still healing, she's still healing and can't help it. She holds up the red and black pot collection for cooking, “Red or blue?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Blue, always go for the blue. That’s like Kara’s favourite colour, you know this.” Natalie scoffs, looking at the utinsels, jeez, a pack of forks and knives, long and impressively huge knives are one hundred and eighty dollars? They toss it in, looking down at the matching salt and pepper shakers with “salty” and “sweet” though pepper isn't sweet and they toss it in for the hell of the pun, knowing Kara loves dad puns.</p><p> </p><p>“Do they need couches?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No, they want to keep the basic furniture but they need another crib, more baby stuff, Jacky is almost two, Angel’s is fine- I’d say they need-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Look!” Georgia holds up shot glasses of little rainbows on them. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Lena will love them.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Adam frowns when he realizes everyone is watching them from coming out from nowhere when they're all halfway through the list, arms full of items and Ruby slaps a hand over her mouth to control her giggles. He's holding an arm full of clothes, precisely baby clothes of pink tutus, skirts and shirts that match together as well as two tiaras in his hands, “What? You did say Jacqueline needed some more clothes!”</p><p> </p><p>“I meant…..like, real clothes.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Adam raises an eyebrow, “Real clothes?”</p><p> </p><p>Ruby sighs, taking the two pajama sets, the little shoes, socks and tiaras before shoving the rest of it in his arms, “Tajst dress up clothes, babies don't want be in a dress today – if I let Angel in a diaper and a blanket all day, she would be ballistic. Real clothes- you don't want to wear a skirt with the thinnest leggings in fourty degree weather would you?” Adam shook his head before dumping it all in a stand, catching up with them and almost trips when Georgia squeals, pointing </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No, we do not need another blow up swimming toy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Georgia glares at Lukas but puts it back, hmpphing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>“So, we did something.”</p><p> </p><p>“You're back together?!” Harley squeals, cutting Kara ask if they did something bad or if they should be worried but it makes her smirk while Ruby’s cheeks heat up in a blush, Natalie scratched their neck slightly trying to lay to cool but they shake their head, “You blew up a car? My teacher said we shouldn't watch Dora The Explorer because running away is bad-bad but Mama let's me watch Shameless and-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No! No. No, one, Shameless is top notch and I'm glad you're watching that-“ Natalie offers their fist bump and Harley hits it with his across the table and fighting off the redness in their ears when Ruby’s finger plays with their shoulder lengthen hair, “No, it’s um…..it might be bad or you'll be upset with us but we sort of…..bought you a house. It's not as big as you would like it, it's three stories, four bedrooms, one huge basement for um, anything you need- it's all paid off but if you don't want it, I have the receipt and if you want it redone or if you want-“</p><p> </p><p>Lena almost toppled out of her chair, hugging them tight and Natalie smiled in relief with her shaking arms around them, “Natalie! You're- you're serious?! Are you serious? You're- actually? We- you- is that why you were gone all day? She asks between tears of happiness, gratitude and thankfulness, squeezing them until Natalie squeaks out yes, yes, yes I am but you're hugging me too tight! Before letting them go and kissing both their cheeks, “You fucking son of a bitch!”</p><p> </p><p>Natalie smiles, hugging Kara the next, rocking back and forth but they show them photos of the house, the realtor got a little drone and showed them a video of the whole property, the pool outside (Natalie desperately, desperately tried to get a house with a jacuzzi outside but there was no-go to that) and they were slightly pissed at that until they had two ice coffee, three bagels and another coffee, it was just a house, but a house is a house and they love them so much. </p><p> </p><p>This is their family too and they wanted it to go perfect but…..well, things isn't perfect. </p><p> </p><p>“There are four bedrooms, one for the twins, Quinn, you guys and the two babies- you have a master bedroom that connects to a closet though it is possible to make a walk in closet, a master bathroom, a little lounge area.” Natalie swipes on the pictures, the rooms that connected Quinn’s room and the Quinn’s room is adorable of a little walk in with open curtains coming in like a runway, they'll split the room in half for one half is Angel’s and the other is Jacqueline’s.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn't know- well I don't know but it is up to her, I got an extra room for Ruby if she will live with you guys and sell her apartment-“ They stop when both state with a confused expression, “She didn't tell you. Okay. That's okay. She has her own room, the upstairs level is mostly different with two offices, a play room for the children and sort of like a living room.” The last room has massive book cases, huge and sized chairs with feet pads to stretch out on, the bay windows are a lovely touch for natural light to come in and reflect off the seventy inch TV screen as well</p><p> </p><p>“Natalie, it's perfect. You're perfect.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>Kara wraps an arm around their shoulder, kissing their temple. “You're the coolest kid I know.” She sometimes forgets how young they really are, Natalie just turned twenty and bought them a fricking house. Because they were stressed out of thinking where to bunk and put the kids in which bed, to switch them in bed, to comfort them with nightmares and their own space to be comforted in of their books, their toys, their space as a human being who needs their things around, their clothes, their beings. </p><p> </p><p>That mindset sort of flies out the window the next weekend when Kayilyah slams the DEO bunk bedroom screaming STOP HOVERING ALL THE TIME, after Kara simply asked if she is okay and that's when they do let her breathe a little though Kara has one ear on her and one ear concentrating on Lena, “It seems like I’m messing everything up.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena presses kisses under her ear, “You're not, love. Shes just adjusting.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sighs, letting herself be pulled down to the couches, Ruby is asleep on the other one with Angel in her arms, snoring slightly. “When we do see the therapist?” Lena did want to make sure Kayilyah is okay, physically, mentally and emotionally because the question they did ask her if she does want to stay with them or Maggie and Alex or whoever but a therapist is due for a eight year old girl, abandoned from her culture and country, kidnapped from drug dealers and sent to America, adopted twice and now having three more siblings.</p><p> </p><p>“Next Friday. I guess we have been watching her every move since she got here……” There is quiet time, shower/bath time at night as the children's schedule to remain in order and okay, play time is practically every time and……she's eight. She knows how to wipe her own ass, maybe they are a little…..worried for no reason. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You're so loud……” Ruby whispers and they both jump when she sits up, adjusting Angel in her arms, humming to keep her asleep. “Look, being adopted isn't easy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We technically didn't adopt you-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She puts up a finger and Kara swallows her sentence, “You did in my eyes, you signed the papers, you bought me a bed that was too small for me and I hate the colour pink that you painted in my room, I just didn't get your last name. I was sixteen, she’s seven. It's a big age gap but for the love of Rao, don't make it seem like a big deal. It is a big deal but that's not what she's thinking about- the first few weeks, I bought snacks in the vending machines at school and ate them when I was hungry at home. That was my mindset, you have to find hers.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They tried to, it was just……a little bit more difficult.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Then it became even more difficult with the therapy day coming in and Kayilyah stomps to the bunk room, slamming the door and screaming into her pillow the next few seconds which has Lena slightly tapping her head on the wall, exhausted. Alex scrunched her nose up, pushing Lena out of the way while opening the door, surprised it wasn't locked but Kayilyah screams at her the next </p><p> </p><p>Frustrated, annoyed and tired as hell with everyone else, they love Kayilyah and would take multiple bullets for her but her sour mood is starting to settle into all of theirs as well. Harley flinches, hard, hands clanking over his ears before he goes to Lena. Alex grabs her wrists, “Stop screaming and start using your words, we can't read your mind.” The irony of that makes Lena feel guilty, she doesn't dare to read anyone’s mind to see how they're feeling but it's not the first time she wished to and Kayilyah screams again </p><p> </p><p>“You know what- nope, we're gonna sit right here.” Alex announces while twirling Kayilyah in her arms, sitting down and arms locked around her squirming body. It lasts ten seconds before the little trooper is bursting into tears but still squirming – trying to get away, trying to hide and not let anyone see her true feelings – Alex sings a song that always calms Harley in his outbursts, Red Robin. This is the first time that she’s showing vulnerability and Alex fights her own tears back, “It's okay.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Stop,” She cries, her little fists trying to peel away Alex’s hands around her chest but she holds on tighter, (she once dead that pressure on her chest is good for someone having a panic attack, a hug or any pressure is good) and she kisses her temple, rocking side to side now. “B-but, but she told me to be strong and not weak,” She whispers and that's the missing puzzle piece they were looking for. Blaire, must have told Kayilyah something along her last few breaths and she took it the wrong way that's all </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You are so, so strong, babygirl. And someone once told me-“ Her eyes flicker up to Maggie, gesturing for her to come, “that crying is okay. That….showing your colours isn't bad, or weak. I used to be really, really, really scared to let down my own Daddy when he told me to be strong- I was around your age when he said that the first time.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie wipes her face with a little cloth but hiccups, her breathing starting to be under control, “R-really?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Really.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Does he work here too?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kayilyah doesn’t know much about Jeremiah though she knows Jeremiah Jr. was named after him but she shakes her head, releasing her hold but the little trooper is now content in her lap. “No, um…..no, he doesn't. He used to and that's sort of why I got into this job to protect people and to be a doctor, sort of like a scientist. But…..no, he's been gone for awhile, we don't know where he is but he's sort of working with the bad guys that's all.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“He's a good guy but working with the bad ones?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Exactly.”</p><p> </p><p>They don't do anything for awhile but talk and her bones crack while standing up but Kayilyah jumps on Maggie the next second, an arm around her hip and little arms around her neck. Maggie ain't necessarily- she hasn't had any one on one time with her yet but she hoists her on her hip, moving her hair away from her face. “Come on, let's go see about your homework.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie winces of Kayilyah’s nails digging into her neck, clinging on when they walk into the main room, Kara and Lena are at the table, half working and both probably trying to not listen to their conversation. Kayilyah sits right on Lena’s work papers, crunching half of them and smiling, dried tears on both their cheeks and swallowing. “Hi.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hi.”</p><p> </p><p>She lowers her voice to a whisper, “Did you know we’re exactly twenty years apart?”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn't. And you make me sound a little bit old.”</p><p> </p><p>Kayilyah giggles, taking the black glasses off the younger woman’s face, squinting, “How do you even see out of these? Are you actually blind or is it for a talent show?”</p><p> </p><p>Not knowing where she got that joke but it makes her laugh, tugging her closer but still remaining in her chair, cupping her face. “You have to use your words sweetie- I know and you know I can read minds, anyone’s mind but I prefer not to because I want you to trust me. And Kara. And everyone. And I know I’m not your real mom, and I know I’m not Blaire-“ Kayilyah almost squirms away, cringing but she presses a kiss to her forehead. “I'm just someone who  loves and will always be there for you.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara nods, kissing her shoulder and a hand tickling her chest, “Ditto. We’re just adding to that little, beating, muscle resting in your chest. So you have a family tree to do?” </p><p> </p><p>She nods, hopping in between their laps. “Yeah, Kelly is super duper nice and she’s the same colour as me! But she dresses like you,-“ To Lena, “but she is sort of silly like you.” To Kara. “And she went super, red when I asked if she was friends with Natalie or Maggie or Alex.” Maggie snorts when Alex sighs audibly, she thinks Kelly will always he have a little crush on her wife but she doesn't mind when she pulls her down on the couch, kissing her lips. </p><p> </p><p>“You're pretty good with her.” Alex comments, playing with the tips of Maggie’s hair </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie raises an eyebrow, leaning her head on her chest, “Oh yeah?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A hum, fingers tickling her shoulder blades, “Yeah.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Any thoughts on that?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Many.”</p><p> </p><p>Maggie giggles, biting down on her belly. It's not their first conversation about having more children whether it's through adoption, surrogacy with something else, if it's the last option, Maggie will carry the baby but they will be having children in the future. “I bet, babe.” </p><p> </p><p>Alex watches when Kara smiles and nods at everything Kayilyah is saying, a lot of “sorry” and “it’s okay” in the room when they work on the family tree for her homework. Kayilyah is adopted, adopted twice in two years but when Lena hands her a pen, she writes everyone’s names down. “How do you spell Kierath?”</p><p> </p><p>“K-I-E-R-A-T-H,” Lena spells out for her, slowly enough, “Did you know he was named after me?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Really?” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Lena Kieran, Kieran was my mother’s name,” She explains, rubbing her collarbone with her knuckle, they've been sharing more and more about each other – they knew each other when they did live in Lena and Kara’s house but not those intimate details. “And did you know your middle name, Tura, was for Tucker, Blaire’s last name?” They have each the girls a middle name (their culture lets them have over ten, if they want to) and they gave them each from Blaire or originated of her name or similar </p><p> </p><p>Kayilyah shook her head but bit her lip and Kara knew the tears were coming, rubbing her other shoulder, “It's okay to miss her, Kayilyah. You just have to talk to us so we can help you, we won't ever be mad about that.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She rolls her eyes, the pencil in her lap and already rubbing her eyes. “But she's gone, she- your people are gone, they aren't coming back and I have pictures and you don't- what's the use?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She also never was told vulnerability was positive or natural until she was adopted by Blaire, literally less than a year so it is an adjustment. And it breaks Kara’s heart, picking her up and her legs wrap around her hips, her clasped hands holding onto her back to support her, walking over to the window. She taps the glass to let her turn around and see the bright shining star. “That's Krypton, that's my other home. And you're right, I did lose my people and my friends, my parents- both passed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you miss them?” Such innocence in a huge question.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Everyday. But that's why I help people, sometimes I don't, the police and DEO agents have more help than ever and II get breaks or I'm hurt and I have to stay back but-“ She taps her chin, making her look up, “But I do it for you, to protect you, like my parents protected me to come to Earth. I do have pictures, I paint them if I have a new memory and the DEO created an AI so I can talk to my Mom- she's not real, but she's there. You will always have Blaire, it does matter and you, matter. So much.”</p><p> </p><p>She nods, swallowing. “I miss her. I just miss her, I wish she were here.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Me too, baby.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And when Lena walks in on the morning of Ruby cooking pancakes it's bittersweet. She remembers when they were trying to help Sam with Reign, trying to split them apart, it wasn't easy and took weeks for her to keep Reign in a literal box but when she was cured and healthy, that's when she was invited to her first Sunday morning of pancakes, a young thirteen year old Ruby and Sam, more grateful than ever to be human again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And then it was harder to understand, ss from both angles of how the situation of the Arias household was but here was no real explanation: Sam, a now alcoholic who was lying to Lena about coming to work drunk was an abuser and the only person with bruises on her face, showing up at her house with tears down her cheeks and to just believe her: she understood Sam’s way of…..punishing Ruby. Of her alcoholism. To get Sam as much help as she needed as well. But they drifted with every week before court, and in Sam’s eyes, she picked Ruby’s side but was really a getaway. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And the young sixteen year old girl, abused, beaten, scared to ask anyone for help with her own addictions (she snuck Aunt Alex’s cigarettes once and then never stopped, even when heavier drugs) is now a mother of one, a adopted daughter to Kara and Lena is in the kitchen, healing after years even getting help.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She used to hate pancakes. Because Sam made them. A person who looked up to even before she got papers like she dreamed her Mother should get. And she wished she didn't when Reign came. But now, she's cooking pancakes, pouring juice for the waiting children at the table eating ore cut fruit as a distraction until the food is done, Lena has never been more proud.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So she kisses her temple with Ruby’s smile spreading and not needing to be the mind teller of what she really thinks when she sent Sam a text this morning of “I believe your story of yesterday morning. I hope the authorities and the people who don't believe you understand that. All wishes to you and Lucy.” And brown eyes on hers: she's a damn tough kid. “I'm proud of you, honey.” And there have never been better words for a survivor to understand it's okay to get help and that there is always help out there for them. No matter what. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“This is…..pretty nice.” Kara comments, they're still living in the DEO just for the moment, they need to enroll the children into school so they do not catch behind on their work and they both need to go to work but…..all children are safe, are healthy, are healing and happy? Lena leans into her embrace, kissing her lips softly and agreeing with her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, people have asked about Sam in my instagram dms and if she is coming back and how that will affect Ruby, the babies, the whole Super Family really but I don't know yet. I needed a dramatic chapter to get Ruby “give birth” to Angelena. And to get Sam and Lucy out of the picture because it is sort of rude to leave your coma-ridden daughter in the hospital and almost dead. Let's be honest.</p><p> </p><p>But this is a full round chapter of the two Ariases. I hope it fulfills your needs to somewhat heal if you going through this or went through this- I’m proud of you.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. to start a band (pov is no one)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have had many requests for these so I'm jjst uploading a lot!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The SuperCorp Household, National City</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>February 17<sup>th</sup>, 2022</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Time on Kara’s Iphone: 8:29 a.m</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Notes:</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara is not the one for surprises.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>How can she? A lot of the time she can just…..see, hear, detect with her super powers of someone whispering about her Earth Birthday, about her and Lena’s anniversary, about a special date night of her and Lena or a lot of the time Nia plans the “Girls Day” for her and El Marayah for a day out with Nia and Eleanor. Not that she doesn't like being surprised but it doesn't come unnoticed. And the big fat “Jeju Kara” in black, thick pen marker on a billboard pretty much says it a</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Any reason….for all of this?” Kara asks, laughing a little with Kierath on her hip, staring at the huge amount of papers, poster boards and a huge white board somewhere in storage in the middle of the living room. Ruby whips around, in actual clothing of black jeans, a white crop top of “Hasley” on it, an upcoming pop artist, a singer that Ruby has been obsessed with lately. She has a black marker in her hand, shaking her head with a piece of toast half in her mouth and her hair in a messy bun</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby chews, taking the piece of toast while giving it to Kierath who munches gladly and holds Kara’s face in her hands. “We’re going to sing.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She laughs, kissing the hand that cups her cheek. “Ruby, I have work, Lena already left with the other kids and Blaire needs help with finance-“ Blaire Tucker had been living with them since the school shooting last year, she was supposed to just stay for the summer but months went by and she lost her job back in October in construction. But by terrible timelines, she passed away of suicide.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mixed emotions. After a homicide, survivors can direct their anger at the perpetrator. In a suicide, the victim is the perpetrator, so there is a bewildering clash of emotions. On one hand, a person who dies by suicide may appear to be a victim of mental illness or intolerable circumstances. On the other hand, the act may seem like an assault on, or rejection of, those left behind. So the feelings of anger, rejection, and abandonment that occur after many deaths are especially intense and difficult to sort out after a suicide.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Need for reason. “What if” questions can arise after any death. What if we’d gone to a doctor sooner? What if we hadn’t let her drive to the basketball game? After a suicide, these questions may be extreme and self-punishing — unrealistically condemning the survivor for failing to predict the death or to successfully intervene. In such circumstances, survivors tend to greatly overestimate their own contributing role — and their ability to affect the outcome.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And that has hurt.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Helplessness has consumed Kara sometimes for Alex to get her off the sidelines when she punched too hard, lashes out too much, too reckless for Supergirl to do such a thing and nor for the people to look at her like a….mess. Of which Supergirl isn't. But with dealing of a family friend, a person she was close with even with Lena closer, she's grieving and she's coping somewhat but with Lena by her side, the children keeping her busy….. she hung up her cape.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby puts a finger to her lips, going back to the whiteboard where Angel is, Angel started crawling last month, sitting up by herself (sort of, it's a work in process) and Ruby coos, picking her up to kiss her cheek, pointing at the papers. “I didn't mean sing in the basement, trying to get my vocal chords the right tone. I didn't mean to sing in the same alien bar for the past year Ive been doing. I mean, sing. You've always wanted to sing professionally, right? And I have too. And Natalie. And we could do it, we have the money, we have the support.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara laughed, chastised, “Ruby.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I'm so god darn serious, Kara. You have always wanted to do broadway. You could be in musicals. You can be in musicals. You were in one in college.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She fixes her glasses on her nose, stuck in a position where she wanted to be in for so long. “Yes, I was. Rubes, I’m a Mom, I have a job, two actually, I have everything I've always wanted in my life. And a Grandbaby,” She points to Angel whose in a diaper and a little pink shirt with a butterfly on it. Yup, little girl Arias is a tea party and dress up kind of girl and she is living for it. “And you. You're here, at a time you weren't and I’m grateful for that now.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You don't take anything for granted anymore.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara shakes her head, “No. I know my place. And it's here, I'm not fit out for singing, maybe I was a few years ago but-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You thought Lena was…..gone. You thought Supergirl wasn't worthy. You thought Supergirl wasn't worthy with everything with Lockwood, with Agent Liberty, but she always will be and she is apart of you. Those two aren't going anywhere. But this can go somewhere, I can sing, I can produce but I need help and Natalie is at the garage until dinner time.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara sighs, a wistful smile on her face. Ruby has grown so much in the past year and she probably is older than Kara right now. Looking around, Angel is alive, healthy and happy with Ruby nuzzling her nose in her neck, pecking kisses everywhere. Ruby does have the money, personally but with the family allowance as well. She has barely been living but she's lived so much in these four walls, recovering from amnesia, a broken back and raising a daughter. She deserves this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> (Maybe they all do.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay. Okay, yeah I'll help you but I have to call in work that I’m coming in, Kierath you get a day off but you,” She squints her eyes, pointing while letting Kierath go as he air guitars as a accomplishment of not going to school today, “Are breaking the news to your Mom. No way in hell I’m doing that.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With the door opening of Natalie coming in, Ruby grins triumphantly with them taking off their layers of the cold season, Angel squeals happily one the air of seeing her parent, crawling as fast as she can to them coming in the living room, “Hi baby! Oh hi sweetheart, I was gone for like an hour I know,” Her head drops on their chest, kissing her head while grinning up at Blaire, Kara and Ruby all masterminding at the new information and plan, “So who wants to be in a band?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The door opens for the second time in the next two hours of Ruby and Natalie's friends coming to be invited to the “big, fat party” Kierath called it, there's already laughter and shuffling in the hallway before it goes eerily silent, three, four teenagers coming in the doorway, “Is Angel okay? Is she asleep?” Lena has also scolded them about being quiet or “gentle” in the house to not wake the baby a few times before. Natalie laughs, picking up Angel who is wide awake, cooing at her aunts and uncles</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Adam puts a hand over his chest, sighing out a relief. “Thank god. Hi baby!” He plucks her out of Natalie’s hands while they coo over her: Kara finds it sort of hilarious, her daughters’s friends, dressed in fully black, chains and tattoos with ear and eyebrow piercings all on their face. They aren't scary to Angel who Adam lets touch his mullet (he grew it out, wanting to cut and donate it in a few months in honour of Micheal) and giggle at Sonny’s pink mascara and light green lipstick on his face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> So yeah, punk rock kids are still kids and Georgia, another girl who was in the same custodian room where Ruby saved Adams's life with taking the bullet out with tweezers, she came out as asexual but has three children as her own, just at twenty years old. They're still kids but they are probably the most strongest people Kara has ever met.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So what up, Rubes?” Sonny swings an arm around her, kissing her cheek with leaving a green lipstick smudge on her cheek.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So, okay. Hey, eyes here. This is important. So you know how all of us were in the band room, playing shows for the school and barely getting by with how many detentions and how we talked back to the teachers?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah? So?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What if we turn all of that, into a band. We all have wanted to be in a band forever, Natalie has been singing since they were a kid, Sonny, you are an extraordinary singer. Adam, dude, you are probably the best drummer I have ever seen at my age and Georgie, girl, we could sing the whole roof off that damn school. Don't tell me you forget the shows we did at lunch hour, making everyone sing the words with us, how alive you felt? Come on, think.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Dink.” Angel coos.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Adam nods, kissing her forehead, a few fingers resting on their chin. He has. He has been dreaming of picking up his drum sticks but since Micheal died, since he came out of rehab, since he came out as gay (he was just bisexual earlier in his life but that doesn't change him), since he started working at the Gortman-Arias Garage, he does feel a little more alive everyday. He will always miss Micheal but their love, their story makes him stronger everyday. “Yeah, I remember. We were just kids though, we had more dreams in highschool. Aren't they just dreams?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“They can be if you want them to be, but I don't want to just….all of you know how much I love being a mom but I'm also myself, finding myself. Natalie is too. This was their idea too. I want to live again, you know? I know I can't force any of you to do this only if you want to but this is my dream and I know it was one of your dreams, all of you.” She shrugs, looking to all of them. Angel meets her eye and she smiles, scrunching her nose up. “I know my destiny and fate. I don't know any of yours.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I want in.” Adam speaks first, nodding. “I want in. I've always wanted to be in a band.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Me too.” Sonny, second.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Do you remember what name we would do?” Georgia jumps in, smirking. Ruby groans, shaking her head. “The Lost Stars? Remember when we picked that name and by the time we were thirty and we weren't happy, we would start it? Well one of us is gone. Adam was treatment. I'm a parent. You two are parents. Tomorrow isn't promised and I want to be happy and I know I will be happy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“The Lost Stars?” Ruby raises a hand.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“The Lost Stars.” They all confirm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Kara? Kara honey, there's like four cars parked outside, who did you invite?” Lena calls, yelling for her wife. No answer as the house goes quiet. She looks down to El Marayah, Jacqueline and Kayiliah whose all giggling up at Lena’s stern, playful expression and Kayiliah sits down on the mat, starting to take off her little snow boots while Ellie does the same, chatting about what they want to play with in the play room. She sets Jacqueline in the little table desk, unbuckling her from the car seat while toeing her heels off and sighing as her feet melt into the floor</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's not that she doesn't like her work but she sort of forgot how hard she works during the day, she had three meetings in the morning, another trial on a device that she's working with Andrea on, trying to keep the sales on L-Corp up though a selling sponsor dropped. Then she had to pick up the children from the daycare, it was sort of hard to get Blaire’s children in the same daycare but it all worked out and the ride made Jaqueline sleepy and the girls chatty. “Come on, lets get you down for a nap.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Shhhh,” She soothes while Jacqueline stirs out of sleep while putting her in the crib in Ruby’s room – they don't have a room for the newborns so they put the cribs and baby stuff in Ruby’s room. And Kayiliah sleeps with Blaire downstairs in the basement. Not a good dynamic but kk have to do for now while she grabs a baby monitor just in case, seeing the two girls already playing in the dollhouse and they'll come looking for her if they need anything</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Surprise?” Kara squeaks while she comes into the living room, seeing three passed out teenagers, Angel is asleep in Adam's arms, both asleep, Ruby is curled up to Blaire whose reading some sort of book and Kara is half watching the TV and half looking through phone books for something or someone. She didn't suspect the teenagers would be over today and she sees most of the snack wrappers are on the door, coffee table and the baby bottle is empty.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She shakes her head, smiling. “We need to go to the grocery store anyway, sweetness. Wanna come?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sonny– hey, wake up.” Kara elbows her and Blaire stirs, stilling with Ruby so close to her, a hand rested on her back and her droopy eyes to Lena, “We’re going to the grocery store, the kids are upstairs, make sure Angel is in her crib and here, Jaqueline is asleep in hers. We’ll be back in an hour, okay?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So any reason why there's six teenagers are asleep in the living room and that it looks like your office?” Lena asks genuinely with a little tease mixed in because come on, Kara's office is a mess of papers, binders, scraps of articles and information and source name's written on white boards. Kara shakes her head, feeling the tease even with Lena pushing the shopping cart, pushing her shoulder a little</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well….heh, you see, when I was nearly out the door, Ruby figured to make a super duper idea about um…..okay, you know in Grade 11, when we first adopted her, she wanted to be in a band?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena is looking at the celery prices of what was in better, stilling. “……Yes?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So, heh, she’s making a band. Well, there's already people that want to be in it, five of them, Natalie, Ruby, Georgia, Adam and Sonny. We don't know if Sonny will be in the band, we think he’ll be the producer. Um, she wanted me to sing but I don't need it, I’m….”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hesitant.” Lena supplies</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Happy.” She ushers.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena deflates, pinching Kara’s cheek with throwing the celery in before going to the dairy for cheese, milk and bread, “You don't have to hold back, Kara. You know, I've seen a lot of people change careers in the middle of it, one of my friends went to college for culinary and now? She’s a DJ in low, lousy bars. I won't judge you for your decisions, you know that right?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara swallows, nodding while shutting the cold, glass door after picking a milk carton, “I know that right. But that isn't me anymore, I’m a Mom. More so, a family woman. A domestic, fluffy family is all I’ve ever wanted but that doesn't make me whole. I want to write a book. I want to paint. I want to do construction work. I want to be….” She lowers her voice, “Supergirl. I want to help people in any way I can, even with a few solar flares and near death experiences. That's what I signed up for.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena cocks an eyebrow. “And?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara sighs, fixing her glasses, “I do want to sing but…..I don't think I have it in me. And I want Ruby to be happy, she has been doing good lately, taking the antidepressants, therapy, we all have been to therapy, Angel is improving though the hospital check ups and overnights are sometimes emotional but that's okay. They’re happy and that's all that matters.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena nods, rubbing her back with looking for the snack aisle, “That is all that matters but please don’t hesitate to tell me these things? I'm not mad, I was just teasing.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know. I love you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena kisses her lips softly, “I love you too.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, Auntie Kara.” They hear to their left and they see Harley, Harley out of all people in an emotional talk of their hopes and dreams in a middle of a grocery aisle. He has his arms crossed, both eyebrows raised, he’s in his orange snow jacket with blue jeans, his blonde hair long enough to be in a bun finally. He sort of looks like Alex, scowling to them about PDA in public and Kara blushes before he’s hugging both their waists. He turned six. Six and he’s taller, funnier and a lot easier to get away from his parents in the grocery store.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Where'd you come from, mister?” Kara asks, him on her hip not caring her jacket will be wet from his boots around her waist and he leans forward, snuggling. They haven't had a lot of family dinners, maybe twice, three times a month and she should ask Alex (probably losing her mind of losing Harley in a store) for a family dinner tomorrow or on the weekend.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Toys. Jeremiah is being loud and ugh, it's annoying. I hate being the oldest.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I don't know kiddo, maybe he's having a bad day.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know, god. Little siblings are annoying. But I love him anyway,” He sighs, melting in her arms. Lena winces, not not having a heart to kiss his cheek, older siblings have it worse from their parents since well….look how lex turned out under her parents’s high expectations and annoying talks at the dinner table. Alex is the same, obviously, but she didn't turn out as a killing mad man but she does have trauma and still rolling her eyes at Eliza’s scolding of being a better parent. “What are you guys doing here?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, we ran out of food at our house and Ruby had some friends over that's all.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh. Because we can’t come over but her super cool friends can.” Harley drawls, annoyed now with his eyebrows raised higher and Lena feels her cheeks heat up from her six year old brother’s sarcasm dripping with his tone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well…..well, it's just that she’s, um….just more comfortable with her friends after the incident and she……um.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Doesn't want six year olds because she can't handle loud noises but she likes Angel.” He nods to himself, sucking both his lips in and Kara shuts her eyes, so fucking mortified. He squirms and she can't help but let him down, he starts walking, turning around while walking, “I'll tell them you guys said hi. I love you. Maybe see you.” He offers a smile, it's sad and his eyes shine with tears. He hasn't seen them in months. Neither has he seen his cousins either in months. “Like Mom would say yes,” He scoffs under his breath and Kara tries to not swallow past the slight lump in her throat and acting like she didn't hear it</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“God, are we assholes?” Lena whispers, pinching the bridge of her nose. She knew that the yelling match they had on Christmas was not a good look and thought Alex would call to say sorry but she didn't and neither did they reach out. Fuck, she didn't even think of the children’s feelings and thoughts about it and what they saw that night.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Such assholes.” Kara throws the snack packets in the cart, sniffling softly. Lena rubs her back while looking for the vegan yogurt packets.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wow, fancy seeing you guys here.” They both jump while waiting in line, trying to talk like real human beings with the lady three people in line up are taking photos of them and a man behind them have been trying to hide his huge, expensive camera under his coat and try and get a better one. They turn around to see Harley, rolling his eyes hard with Maggie holding Jeremiah in a body carrier on her chest and Alex pushing the cart, eyes flicking towards them and to her phone</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara clears her throat, awkward, “Hem, yes, hi! We were just shopping for the night that's all. How are you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Pretty good, work is…..work.” Maggie supplies, she looks exhausted with slight bags under her usually bright eyes that look relieved with a sleeping Jeremiah on her chest with her hand rubbing his back and she looks…..different. Like not a bad different but different. Kara strains her ears to hear but there's nothing. She smiles, nodding while they shuffle in line further. “And you? I heard your article about the Black Lives Matter foundation of L-Corp was extraordinary.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena grins, shrugging her shoulder a little. “Eh, it was nothing, I’m just trying to make everything a little easier and the project was a little diamond for the beginning of the New Year but it sort of exploded over night. Kara helped pitching it, I didn't know how to like, give it to the press.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, it was amazing anyway. So…..how are you guys?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, Kara, how are you? A phone call would be nice, maybe.” Alex asks and Harley slams his hands over his head, humming to try and break the tension and Kara smiles, giggling but Alex isn't. “Harley Ryder Danvers.” She almost yells and both of them are shocked of how Alex is stern, she's usually the “fun” parent out of the two and Maggie's fingers brush her elbow to calm and she melts. Well, big bad ass Director of the DEO still melts at Maggie’s simple touch so maybe nothing everything changed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Next,” A register person calls and both of them swallow, nod their head to themselves and shuffle to the register, putting all their items to be scanned, checked and bagged. Lena gives the cashier her card to scan to pay before they're taking three, four bags each in each of their palms. The cold air isn't what makes Lena shiver either. Or how sick to her stomach is when Alex finally looked to them, she was more Alex Danvers than just…..her sister in law. Sister.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Shit, we should have taken the bigger car,” Lena grunts, trying to open the car with the key knob and opening the trunk of the little black, sleek Lexus car and Kara huffs back, finally dumping the bags in the trunk.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Kara slams the back and ordered a Lena to sit in the car after she's shivering in her coat and business skirt and heels, she feels someone hugging her, hard. She freezes for a second, thinking it was the same creep in the store but turning, it's Harley. Same as before but he's crying, his shoulders shaking hard and his brown eyes glistening in the lamp post light above them, “Call her, Auntie. She isn't mad, she just cries!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Harley! Harley, did you put the cart back!” They both hear Alex's yelling from somewhere in the cold air of the parking lot and Harley flinches, hard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And they fight a lot, they are talking to go away, please, I don't want to go away, you have to talk to her and try and get her to stay, okay?! Please, I don't want to go. They put me downstairs for someone else. Just please call her and don't be…..don't be a stranger, okay?” He hugs her knees tight, crying into her slacks and she grins her teeth again, hard, looking to the dark night of stars and fully knowing Harley doesn't deserve any of this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Harley?!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I have to go, please call her!” He busily whispers, wiping his face with both hands to try and wipe the tears away and he's running and ducking between cars before she can say goodbye. She looks to the sky again, cursing in Kryptonian and they're on their way to the house.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mama Luthor!” Sonny raises both hands in the air, the teenagers being teenagers are watching some sort of show on the screen, all spread out over each other and she tries to not laugh but does anyway. All of Ruby’s friends love her, love her to death and for all the wrong resold people think, not for her job, not because she bought this but house, not excuse she has a shit ton of money.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But because she made a couch bed for Sonny when he was withdrawing from drug substance abuse, shivering, throwing up and then too hot again and she was there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But because she called Adam every day in treatment when neither teenagers couldn't, scared they both let each other down, scared Adam would hate Ruby of lying to him about pregnancy, scared Ruby would hate Adam of not saving Micheal despite the “secret cop job” she has in medical training and couldn't save the love of his life.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But because she let Georgia in with open arms when she confessed to Ruby, at three something in the morning with a little girl, dreadlocks and pink pouty lips, that she isn't her Aunt but her Mother. That the little boy with curls and in blue space rocket pyjamas is her oldest. That she's pregnant again. That she's eighteen and with three children, now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, hi, I'm sorry we took so long but…..pizza?” Lena holds you a pizza box that she called Kara’s favourite pizza place and she was too lazy to cook and if she did cook, the children would eat late, the children would be into bed late, the the children would wake up late, the children would not have a good day tomorrow with not enough sleep. So all around of that over thinking she did, she bought four pizza boxes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ooh, is that a new piercing I see?” Kara coos, cupping Sonny’s face and he sticks his tongue out. Ruby sticks her tongue out and they both have “<span class="u"><strong><em>FUCK OFF</em></strong></span>” on it, matching tongue piercings. “I like it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mama, can I get one?” Kayiliah asks Lena – Lena is in such a “I could give a flying fuck” right now mood of letting  the children sit on the couches with their own cut up pizza slices except Angel, currently being fed a bottle of a milk by Georgia, rocking a little. She said she should be going home soon to her parents house but wanted some cuddles, missing how her babies were that small</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena sighs, her hand softly caressing her braids, “They're bad influencers,” She whispers loud enough for all to hear and Sonny sticks his tongue out again, “But you can too, when you're older. Not sure the parents at your new school would like that.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well…..well, because you're seven years old and…..um. Listen. I would if I could but it would be super duper painful and it would look cooler when you're older.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kay shrugs, “Okay.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Toast to the…..what is it called?” Kara raises her soda can</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby giggles, her cheek being kissed by Natalie, her soda can clinking to everyone else’s, even Quinn’s who raises his sippy cup.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“To the ‘The Lost Stars’.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i like the band name if i have to say so myself </p><p> </p><p>who doesn't love some danvers sisters angst?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Valentine's day Do-Over</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some people do like Valentine's day and some do not, I do (sort of, not very cliché kind with red roses and chocolate like that sort of thing but I do like it) and it's sort of late but I hope this is what you visioned Maggie and Alex's date night? Sort of? I know the backstory of Maggie’s past and Valentine's Day connected for her in a bittersweet, emotional and changing way but I hope there isn't a ounce of angst or bad feels while reading this! </p><p> </p><p>Oh my god, I don't think I write smut good enough……</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Sanvers Household, National City </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>February 14th, 2023</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Time on Alex’s Supergirl Watch: 5:48 p.m</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Sorry if it's hard to catch my vibe,<br/>I need a lover to trust, tell me you're on my side,</p><p> </p><p>Are you down for the ride?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's not easy for someone to catch my eye, but I've been waitin' for you for my whole damn life,</p><p> </p><p>For my whole lifetime.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's hard for me to open up, I'll admit it,</p><p> </p><p>You've got some shit to say and I'm here to listen, so baby, tell me where your love lies,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Waste the day and spend the night, and underneath the sunrise</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Show me where your love lies,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tell me where your love lies,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Waste the day and spend the night,<br/>Underneath the sunrise</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Show me where your love lies. </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>Alex sighs, running a hand through her hair while walking through the main door of the house. She’s had much of a shit day, more like a shit week all overall since more crimes have picked up, paperwork is making her hand cramp and she's so hungry- but a paper, a sort of…..what the?......picking it up, it smells like vanilla and cherries and……Maggie. Maggie. Flipping it over, it's some sort of vintage paper with cursive handwriting on it and reading, “Hey, beautiful. Come on in,”</p><p> </p><p>Frowning, she pushes the door in wider, looking around the house and “Woah,” leaves her mouth. Red and black coloured heart balloons all over the house, two in the living room, some of them are floated to the top of the ceiling and one that's on the kitchen table with two different wine bottles, two wine glasses and a little gift box. “Maggie? Are you here, babe?”</p><p> </p><p>Nothing.</p><p> </p><p>She walks to the table, taking off her little strap on briefcase off her shoulder, slipping her shoes off on the matt and hands cover her eyes in the next five seconds as she smiles at Maggie’s kiss under her ear, “Hi, babygirl. I've been waiting for you to come home for awhile, you okay?” She purrs, hands leaving her face and down her neck, nails scratching slightly </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sighs and leaning back at the same time while her hands stop at her waist, supporting her. “I just….I don't know, I feel so fucking tired. And sad. I don't know why, I just…..wait, where are the boys?” She asks, currently now upright and looking around since their boys usually come running for her when she gets home, not saying she hates it, she doesn't but today she's glad a little bit not thinking she could handle their “up, Mommy!” until she concedes and lifts them </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“They're with a babysitter tonight.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She grins, knowingly. “You mean they're with Natalie or Ruby.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A giggle. “Maybeeee. Come here,”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She turns, expecting just a hug but her eyes instead bulge with Maggie, Maggie in lingerie, red as a rose, fucking lingerie. It has a strap that connects her push up bra together, squeezing her breasts tight and up, a piece of black material is over her thong has a strap on each side to connect them to the black stockings, keeping her thong on tight and no shoes on, still taller than Alex but more intimidating than ever as she sits, a hand over her mouth and eyebrows raised</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, my.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie twirls a dark brown curl with her finger, smirking. “You see what you like?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She nods, still a hand over her mouth. “Yes. I do. Oh, my, god. You look so fucking sexy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie puts both hands on her hips and leans back slightly, oh lord she thinks, swallowing against a dry mouth to not break and make out with Alex right now of her reaction. But she feels a little rejected at the same time because obviously she forgot. “It is Valentine's day and I did want to surprise you but- hey, hey, hey, hey, Ally,”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex just shakes her head, hands covering her crumpling, exhausted face with soft fingers pulling them away from her face and Maggie’s concerned one of the tears welling in her eyes and looking embarrassed, “I just forgot, I just, I thought it was next week and it's not and the kids aren't here and I'm crying because you're here in…..in this! This! And we talk about date night and going out and dancing but I just…..I just forgot,” She gasps out, rubbing her eyes and mascara is around her eyes, she looks a mess but so beautiful, Maggie thinks </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Like the night when Alex didn't have enough words to tell her about what happened with her Father but needed someone, wanted someone to help her she wraps her arms around her head, pressing a kiss to her hair. “It's okay, Alex. You hear me? It was a surprise, I knew you forgot and the boys did something for you too, it's okay if you're too tired. We don't have to do anything, I just thought it was nice. It's okay, shhh.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No! No, I just, it is nice, it's more than nice I just forgot and you're so sexy holding me in this and…..” She blows a breath of air out, leaning into her while she rubs her back, calming her down and Maggie smiles, just holding her all the while </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex pressed a kiss to her collarbone then around it and Maggie smiles then, her hand creeping up to her hair, scratching her scalp making Alex groan and lean her head back before her fingers tightened, almost yanking her back and her finger slowly travelling up her neck before her thumb rubs her lower lip, “There she is, how is my girl doing? We don't have to do anything you don't want to, we can have a stress less night and watch Netflix all night, whatever you want.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex’s eyes darkened as Maggie stopped with her hair, fixing it again but her fingers on her chin were distracting as she shook her head. “No, I…..no, I wouldn't want this to go to such waste and…..I know this isn't like, a big thing we do but will you take the reins? Please? I just don't think I can top any of this of what you're doing for me.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie nods, kissing her lips softly. Alex doesn't move, her hands frozen on her own lap since she doesn't want Maggie it feel…..objectified to do anything though she did do all of this for Alex and she grabs her wrists, keeping them on her shoulders. Pulling back, she pushes a little closer into Alex, her hands pulling on the tips of her hair and a pair of her hands gripping her back, it feels like there's not enough room, pulling Alex up before she's pushing her against the wall, “Fuck, you're so fucking beautiful. So fucking mine, look at you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex whimpers, brushing against the wall of being shoved, her lip being big while Maggie captures her lips again, her hands are everywhere with cupping her face, smooshing her face and her grey jeans being pulled down by the button being popped, “So, good, it's okay, just let go for me.” Alex didn’t know  what she meant but when her arms were massaged, she felt her bones start to relax and the bruises start to fade away from the hard working week and Maggie is the hammer to pull her down and relax </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Maggie, Maggie, slow down,” She whispers when her jeans are being pulled down and kicked away, her socks slipped off and Maggie lets her breathe, both their chests heaving at the kisses, the make out, the gasps between their kisses and the weight of the past year go by. “Maggie, please, please, you feel so good-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Shhh. I know, baby.” Maggie moves the hair away from her face, cupping her cheek before Alex nods in confirmation before she picks her up, legs around her hips and Alex’s still surprised gasp though she saw it coming, a breathless giggle escaping as she laughs, squeezing her ass. “Bedroom?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A nod.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex licks her lips slightly while her hands roam on Maggie’s back, she knows Maggie works out with James, challenging each other to a push up contest, yoga usually keeps her pretty flexible (not as sexual as she sounds!) and she knows she's pretty consistent to go to the gym, she's vegan and sorry, Maggie is just so strong, carrying her up the stairs and laying her down so gently on their made bed. Her fucking abs, she moves a hand out to touch and Maggie’s smirk to her reaction of her </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You like?” Alex nods, cheeks flushed and a hopeful expression in her eyes, when she's in charge of the bedroom Maggie has certain rules; they don't necessarily role play but the rules keep Alex in a certain headspace to obey and follow her rules, a certain way of sex they do a lot. “It's okay baby you can touch,” Permission is also a big thing got them, especially Alex. She rubs her thumbs in the ridges and bumps of her abs, feeling her flex and twitch under her ministrations and smiling down at her </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Can I take this off of you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie smirks, pinching her cheek. “I don't know, can you?”</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The bruises aren't even bruises, they're pink and sensitive against Alex's chest now, some are teeth shaped and some have dried blood on them with smeared blood on the pale skin, its more like the watch on Maggie’s wrist and seeing how long Alex can last. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The cry baby twists and squirms and whines to be let go but in the end game, it is all a silly game, both thrilled and happy and scared and aroused at the same time and when she is capable of speaking – she whimpers – four fingers buried in her cunt and trying to push the edge against the little spot of pleasure behind where her clit is and it feels like she can't take it, can't move, can barely breathe.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Miss, can I come? Please, please, please, I need to come?” Alex half asks and half demands in her position, eyes squeezed shut </p><p> </p><p>“Whose in charge here?” Maggie asks, her finger playing with the remote button </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You are,” She whimpers, squirming on the bed. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“That's right, so just be nice and loud for me…..” Maggie soothed, her hand travelling into the soft flesh of her belly, arms raised above her head by the handcuffs keeping her hands up and the vibrator against her cunt. Alex thrashed, her hips bucking up to try and get more, Maggie hasn't turned the vibrator up at all since she orgasmed the second time and the tightening nipple clamps on her as well. “Ooh! Someone got too close there!” Again, Maggie edged her again, pulling it back agonizing seconds before she almost came, a string of curse words </p><p> </p><p>“Maggie,” Alex grunted through gritted teeth, her hands clenching into fists and Maggie’s finger circling the tightened, tortured nipple but leans into it with her back, arched back and a soft muscle of tongue in her belly button teasingly were well. “Maggie, please, you're- you're supposed to be treating me r-right? This, this was all for me? You want to t-treat me good? Right?” The bagging started awhile ago and it's feeding Maggie’s ego like a bitch</p><p> </p><p>She rubs the skin against her side, feeling the ribs expand and move under each laboured breath, tickling softly. She rolls her eyes, throwing the vibrator across the bed while moving around before her hand is pushing her wife's bucking hips down with the first lick of her tongue on her clit. “Is that what you want?”</p><p> </p><p>Alex pants when Maggie stops, carefully taking the clamps off for a second than all sucks all the air out of the room with a gravely moan, pulling on the cuffs to soothe the burn on her nipples as dark fingers pinch them, hard. “Yes, yes, that's what I want. Please, oh-!” Maggie cut her off while pinching her nipple, hard, twisting, rubbing while wiggling her tongue deep inside her lover, sucking her inside lips hard. </p><p> </p><p>It was barely enough but when her legs were out of her restraints, no clamps squeezing and pinching and hurting so, so, so good, when her legs wrap around Maggie’s head, thighs against her neck and teeth nibbling her clit – her vision goes white, it feels like she leaves her body and floating, ears to her toes makes her shake, her chest tightened until she lets out a animalistic growl and goes limp. Five orgasms later, her hands being let down from the little key for the handcuffs by Maggie and held like a flower the next minute</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Was I- was I good?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie holds her face, cups her cheeks and nods, her thumb wiping a single tear away, “You were perfect, beautiful girl. You are so perfect, you are so good. My good girl.” After care was always, always mandatory if people are going to play, especially like that, this wasn't much of a scene but it also wasn't nothing with the restraints, sex toys and orgasm denial does put a weight of the world sort of pressure on Alex but they both know shes feeling better and her toes stop tremoring as well as her breath </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“That was lovely,” Alex confesses. They're both on their back on the bed, both naked and spent, the sheet wrapped around them. “Do you want me to…..?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie shakes her head, twisting around while grabbing the champagne bottle, “No, I already came when you were……” She gestured with her hand flapping slightly, Alex smirks, Maggie can do all these things to her but while explaining it is when she blushes, but she doesn't push when Maggie doesn't want an orgasm. “Come on, its Valentine's Day, let's celebrate.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie chugs the bottle with Alex recording her, only a green “Barenaked Ladies shirt on and the sheet wrapped around her waist to keep it subtle, smiling after with her dimples popping and winking at the camera. “She's going to be wasted after tonight, if I send you a text, that's not me!” Alex sends it to the group chat of “Super Duper Whooper Friends” and you can guess who made the name of the group chat……..</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Baby, slow down.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie shakes her head, her hand slightly shaking as she pours another shot of vodka, on the bedside table, two bottles are going now and Maggie almost chokes while slamming it back, “Danvers, we have no kids, no dog, no cat, no nothing, we’re free for another…..” She turns around in 1.7 seconds and turned around again, “sixteen hours! We're kids. We have no work and I will throw your sister out if she comes in and needs your help. We should go clubbing!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex laughs, eyebrows raised a little bit in shock of Maggie, literally naked and not ready to go clubbing at all. “Maggie, you're crazy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No, I'm happy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex nods, pulling her down again and kissing her, feeling so happy, happy, happy, happy. “I love you so much. Ride or die, baby.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hehe :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Day In the Life: SuperCorp Edition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay so let's just say that I skipped three weeks early in this chapter, so three weeks have gone completely by, Kara and Lena have a new house, the two newly adopted girls, Kayilyah and Jacqueline are settling in to the family and it's just a rather fluffy, fun chapter all around! I do want to touch on some subjects and if you have prompts or if you want to give a Kudos, that would be amazing!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The New SuperCorp Household, National City </p><p> </p><p>January 25th, 2022</p><p> </p><p>Time on the clock: 4:28 a.m</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>Natalie grumbled, looking around to see what caused them to wake up but all they see is darkness; clapping their hands once to turn the lights on and looking over their shoulder through a barely open eye reading almost five in the morning. They don't want to push Ruby due to her past and healing injuries from the bomb aftermath a few months earlier, physical therapy helps and all but being sore is being sore. “Ruby. Ruby, your daughter is hungry.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She grumbled, the blanket being pulled towards her, “She's not my daughter until the sun comes up. Your turn.” She said through a yawn, turning around on the bed and back faced to them but sighing, Ruby just got up a few hours ago to feed her anyways. Kissing her bare shoulder and covering her up again, they slip a pair of boxers on and a baggy sweatshirt before making their way down to the hallway </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Opening the white tall framed door knob (Kara had to install a bigger door since Natalie is taller than all of them,) and seeing Angelena, Angelena Arias-Gortman in her crib, she's only nine months old but seems to be sitting up and eyes wide and big from them flicking the light on, “Oh, hey precious. Let's be quiet, we don't want to wake-“ Jacqueline started whimpering next, stirring out of her sleep and standing up in her crib as well, “Shhh, it's okay. It's okay.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>An exhausted looking Lena Luthor comes into view when Natalie is just putting Jacqueline back into her crib after waking up with a dirty diaper, picking up Angel this time, “I got them for the night, it's okay.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You sure?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely. Go to bed, Mom.” Natalie says it half teasingly and Lena gives a tired smile in return, closing her door before its burst open in the morning by the children, swaying softly to calm Angel down now. “Shhh, shhh, shhh, it's okay. Mama’s here, Mama’s here,” They whisper against her cheek with her facing their chest, a hand on her back while walking downstairs and going to the fridge for her bottle </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They honestly have no idea when Angel is going to be off the milk but with her hungry little sucks, her other fist curled in their shirt and drowsy eyes looking up at them. Despite being born just five pounds, Angel was also born half Kryptonian and half Daxamite and two halves of being human, half alien and half human but with three times a week , one hour scheduled for napping in the sun, using sun lamps at night and she gained all her “normal” baby weight back </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But is she gaining too much weight or losing weight? I mean, she's only nine months old and most babies are twenty pounds but she's around seventeen.” Ruby worried after they weighed her at the DEO, she has weekly check ups just in case and the hospital here she was actually born since Ruby was almost gone and they needed human doctors since she solar flared and her powers didn't come back for months. But Alex, her doctor for now reassured that if she's eating at scheduled times, growing by length and happy to eat? She's happy and healthy. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Did she go down alright?” Ruby half mutters when they crawl into the half double sized bed, Ruby is stealing all the blankets again but they skip their shirt off again, nodding. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, took awhile to burp her though but she’ll probably sleep until eight or nine.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie tried to not elbow her but carefully slips under the blanket when she falls asleep again, they're both over one hundred and twenty pounds, Ruby is 5’5 and they're 6’1 which is a different size difference. And they need to buy a bigger bed.</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>7:18 a.m</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena feels something coming up the bed when she wakes up, blinking out of a dreamless sleep with looking to her left, Kara, her long blonde curls are around her pillow and a strong arm around Lena’s full, hips but still asleep. The same shade of green, wide eyes stare up at her and she grins, her little Kara versioned. El Marayah, the same blonde curls but her eyes, pounce on Kara, sitting on her back, “Jeju! Jeju! Jeju! Jeju! Jeju!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara blinks open an eye, groaning, “Ellie, you think this is a game?” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena certainly does, the little blonde has been waking Kara up like that since they adopted them, it was a way to be playful and let loose around them but it sort of just stuck. Kara’s other hand tickles her sides making her squirm and fall between them, her finger poking everywhere making her giggle, “You think this is funny? Hmm? I find it funny if you ask me.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No! No, not funny,” Ellie giggles out, being tickled by both of them before Lena presses a kiss to her cheek, flipping out of the blankets. “Mama, can we have pancakes for breakfast?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We has pancakes three in a row, how about oatmeal?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I want oatmeal!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Me too!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Me three!” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I would like some.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena sighs, lifting her off the bed but it's no use when the children are jumping up and down and jumping off their couch in the little relaxing area of their room, looking at the sun coming up that reflects off the windows. She checks if any of the babies are awake and both are, Jacqueline is sitting but her thumb in her mouth though Angel is babbling to herself, “Oh good morning, honey. Come here, up.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Only Jacqueline wears this type of sleeping bag type of thing that are good for swaddling and keeping her secure in the night, zippering it down. Angel, the youngest of the family, squeals for her attention making Lena chuckle, (due to her alien ness, she can hold both of them at once still) pecking her cheek. “Mom, I got her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You just woke up, sit down.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby plops herself in the rocking chair, running a hand through her hair all the while when Lena puts one down and changes their diaper before switching, Natalie coming in to take Angel out of her hands, ordering Ruby to sleep some more. “I'm fine, I’m fine. She only woke up twice, I can just feed her-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Go sleep in our bed, love.” Lena rubs her back, soothing her to calm and not be Super Mom all the damn time and Ruby nods, kissing Angel’s head once before trudging and plopping herself between the pillows. “She has to stop overworking, somehow, her body can only take so much at so many little time.” Ruby has been pushing herself a little bit more each week, she wants to pump milk more, she wants to start walking again, she wants to get out more but they don't think she's healed enough </p><p> </p><p>“I wasn't shot in a school shooting, I was held captive, there's a difference.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And then the shooter had a bomb and it exploded, getting you. You were paralyzed for a few weeks after, you had a broken back and you were wearing a neck brace. Your powers aren't back.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby grumbled back, going back to her book. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But it was true, Ruby did have a broken back, she just got her neck brace taken off before the holidays started and her physicians still don't think she's ready to walk, in the midst of being blown up, she has two degree burn scars on her arms, face and legs. Due to the burns, she is blind in one eye, (“I think I should start wearing an eye patch”) joke before it got serious and she is blind in one eye but when her super powers come back, they do hope her vision and her body heals much faster with them.</p><p> </p><p>“I heard that!” Ruby yells and Natalie sticks their tongue out before they use their mind powers to shut the door, cradling Angel in their arms. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena has Jacqueline in her arms before going to peek her head in Kayilyah’s own room down the hall, knocking softly. (“Both Alex and Lex are the older siblings so we don't know what it's like to be the oldest”) both Lena and Kara agreed on letting Kayilyah have her own room and being the only human, except Jacqueline but she shares a room with Angelena whose near the same age. Sometimes responsibility and independence is part of growing up no matter how old you are but they didn't force Kayilyah on that, would never make them something they aren't </p><p> </p><p>“Morning, honey.”</p><p> </p><p>Kayilyah smiles, in the process of braiding her own hair (she usually does but it's a good day when she lets Lena or Kara) and dressed in blue jeans with daisy flowers on her shirt, the yellow headband matching her shirt. “Hi, morning. What are we having for breakfast?”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe oatmeal, toast, juice…..how did you sleep?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kayilyah wraps the elastic around the hair tips, moving to get her backpack around her closet. It's sort of a colourful room, the stereotypes of a girl and how girls should be is what Lena nudged out of Kayilyah’s brain to not follow by, she likes cars, she’s currently obsessed with animals (giraffes are her favourite) and her dream is to be an astronaut. She's very…..functional, it's always something different and she loves to sign up Kara’s name for art and do two projects every week.</p><p> </p><p>They're not really art, it’s more like “what's come to mind, goes on paper” sort of thing and her teacher gives her a C+ for effort just for the hell of it. And she's the only twenty fifth kid who does it for extra marks. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Good, I guess. And if you're asking me if I had nightmares, then no.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena opens her mouth and closes it, Kayilyah smirks while running past her before Lena can catch her and she's going down the swirly staircase on her stomach. Lena scolds, going step by step and half way down before she's yelling in happiness, throwing her bag near the door. They have two staircases, one on the far side of the house and one that goes straight down the middle for easier access if needed </p><p> </p><p>“Why can't I do that? Why does she always get to do it?” El Marayah grumps, almost shoving Kayilyah off of her chair but she doesn't even move, smiling into her spoon. They don't know if it's jealousy or something about not being the only girl in the family but it doesn't affect Kayilyah in any way but make her laugh, giggling into another bite. </p><p> </p><p>“Because I’m older and you're literally five years old. I’m nine and almost ten, you'll probably fall and your powers will kick in accidentally.” Natalie nodded, offering their hand and Kayilyah fist bumped them, it's not the first time that the twins got too excited playing and they used their super speed and was halfway across the yard with the soccer ball. </p><p> </p><p>“I wish I wasn't an a alien.”</p><p> </p><p>Kayilyah snorts, pressing a kiss to Jacqueline’s arm when she's placed in the baby chair, her own cut up fruit. “Oh boo hoo, life is so hard isn't it to conceal your identity but you will still save people. You can literally fly.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara bites her lip, stirring the second batch of oatmeal. “Let's keep the sarcasm to a bare minimum at…..eight in the morning.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>Waking Up from Regular Naps:</p><p> </p><p>10:48 a.m</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby blinks, looking to the pillow beside her. She doesn't know if it's her having emotional baggage or physical, cuddling up to it and inhaling – some sort of weird cologne (not the kind douche guys wear like a scent) and strawberries, yup, Natalie. – The TV is down low on volume to not wake her up with the sunlight coming in the huge windows that spread against her legs and a sound woke her up but she realizes it’s Angel. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, sorry we were just having some crawling times and she got a little bit too excited.” Natalie explains, peeking down to them where they're on the floor, god, Natalie’s bare toned back straining like a push up to be on Angel’s level, giggling and squirming around, focus on your daughter, not the muscles that look like they were sculpted from God herself. “Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She nods, rubbing her eye and half of her face to hide the blush. “Yeah, um…..I thought I was asleep in Mom’s room?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie shrugs, sitting beside her in seconds, kissing her forehead. “You were but I was hanging out with her since she woke up from her nap and I didn't want you to leave you alone up there…..yeah. I hope that's okay?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, of course.” She winces, laying back down and smiling up at them, their finger playing with her hair. “You know you can't actually let me sleep for half of the day right?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Of course I can, you need it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But I need to work on the finances of the Garage, therapy is tomorrow and when was Angel last time fed?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie scratches their neck, “Around nine thirty? She's been fine ever since and I wanted you to sleep, love.” Ruby makes an uncommitted sound in her throat because she does want to do all of those things but tomorrow sounds like years away if she takes another nap later on. She has been pushing herself a little bit but at the same time she wants to sleep all day of how exhausting it is. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Did you remember all that stuff you did with me?” Ruby asks a little while later, she doesn't go on her phone much but she's scrolling in her photos and videos of her and Natalie, from highschool and half of them are in parks, a bong is sometimes in the picture and their eyes are red rimmed. She doesn't like to look back on old things but these make her smile and try to remember them, if they're with Natalie and her friends </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie frowns, wondering where she would get that from, “Yes.” The firmness of their voice makes her a little…..devious but agrees and they won't let it go, scratching their arm. “Of course I do, it’s…..look, people sometimes mess up a little bit in highschool and we did a lot. Being late to class, punching someone first in the fight, we never drank or smoked on school property because well, we didn't need to be suspended everyday. But…..good or bad, I always want to remember them.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Even with…..me like this?” Ruby asks, staring down at her own arms and a hand on her face. They can't really remember what she did, like the injury names but respectively…..Ruby smashed her face in when the bomb went off, she lost her left eye vision and she has two degree burn scars on her arms. She's self concious about them, some survivors are even after years it happens and that's valid and okay and normal and she is too, she's…..obviously a survivor but Natalie thinks that's what makes her even more beautiful </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, Ruby. Yes, I know you will always be healing from this but you're perfect.” Natalie sighs out, squeezing her hand to look over but she's asleep, exhausted all over again and they kiss her palm, “Rest, hon.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>12:24 p.m</p><p> </p><p>“Supergirl, this is a surprise.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara rolls her eyes making Lena laugh and get up from her desk chair but she placed the brown bag of food down on her desk, pushing her back slightly with a finger on her black button up shirt that matched her suit jacket, grinning into their welcomed kiss. They obviously didn't have enough time for themselves this morning they both think, Lena kisses her one last time but firm arms are around her hips, “Kara, we only have an hour.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We've done it way earlier.”</p><p> </p><p>Lena scoffs, patting her back. “I'm not an old woman, you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara kisses her bare collarbone, “I might as be called an old creep, a thirty one year age gap.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I forget you're just a baby.” Kara croons making Lena scoff a little bit before kissing her again before turning and opening the bag</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So how was your meeting? I heard from a little bird that you're interviewing Gortman this week.” Both women don't want to invade each other’s work life and working space until they tell each other about it or they come home with the news. Usually, they come home with the news but this is juicy and she doesn't want to hear from an article knowing how- Kara yelps, dabbing around her mouth and swallowing her food, holding one of Lena’s palm </p><p> </p><p>“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Okay, So.” Lena grins, sitting up further too, letting her knuckles be kissed, “Okay, Robert is actually going under heat after he was caught allegedly hooking up with…..guess, come on.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena blanked in surprise. “Uh.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No, not uh. Guess.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I hate this game.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara sighs, relenting. “You're no fun. Robert is being fired for cheating on Maria with Morgan Edge’s ex-wife and the security cameras caught them with another woman, and guess who?” Lena’s jaw is already dropped, her cheeks heating up in laughter and a little bit of shame because Robert is a friend, he's donated and worked with and much for L-Corp, her friend and she should not be gossiping behind his back but she's already whispering a who through a smile. “Veronica freaking Sinclair. Maggie is a lucky woman, was a lucky woman because that girl is flexible, I don’t how she had two kids with that-“</p><p> </p><p>“Yep, okay, okay, okay got it.” Lena slapped a hand over her mouth because jesus, one part is sympathetic for Marie Rose (Natalie's mother) and Natalie because white so close and family practically. But the two are giggling mischievously and Kara gives the worst wink in the world with no subtlety making her laugh harder and they're against their favourite couch, holding each other. “I've missed you. I've missed us.”</p><p> </p><p>Kara kissed her hand again when Lena scooted closer, a hand trailing her button. “Me too. We really need more date nights.” They really do, last week, Kara thought Lena was inviting her for a shower date early in the morning but really it was just to comb a huge knot out after she slept (she wakes up with bedhead okay) and Kara frowned, dropping the brush and cried of sex frustration. “And we can't use Ruby and Natalie as babysitters.” She booped Lena’s nose when she opened her mouth to argue. “They're kids. With a kid. No more letting them have them for more than….five hours.”</p><p> </p><p>Lena’s jaw then dropped. “Are you serious? That's only…..like three rounds!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This time Kara blushed, letting herself be kissed before the time of lunch being over. “I'll see you for…..fuck, is it therapy tonight? Or is it…..” Lena held up her finger to not let her go anywhere, suited up and everything already since her interview didn't start until a tight two o’clock, letting her eyes droop and an annoyed expression. “It's Kierath’s speech appointment tonight, fuck. Okay- fuck, we need to leave around four if we want to make it home for dinner.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds like a plan.” Another kiss. Lena kissed her, really kissed her until the cape flapped against the balcony and Lena knows it but it doesn't help, she just forgot. “This is good, we haven't seen the specialist in months- good things. Positive things. Things that will help in ten yearssssss,” Kara yelled, free falling off the balcony that made Lena want to fly with her but she has two meetings before they can think of going.</p><p> </p><p>Good things.</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, baby!” Kierath comes running out of the school, his little backpack hanging off his shoulders, running straight for them with his little arms hugging both of his parents, growing more each day. And seconds later, the other four children are running after them, Quinn from Mrs. Que’s class and Kayilyah from the far side for the older children's class though El Marayah is coming from the Mr. Solies’s class, the same as Kierath’s of their age. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mom, look! I painted it, for Grandma ‘Liza!” He holds up the picture, two stick figures (with no neck, of course the only correct way to draw it) and somewhat of a rainbow over them and it's beautiful with his eyes excited and his other siblings’s get a chance to tell them about their day. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I made a friend,” Kayilyah shyly answers, her chin being pulled up with Lena’s finger for her to open up before she's picked up by her, her green, pink and white bag in her other hand with Kara taking the children on the other side to buckle up. She's eight, she can do it herself but lifting her into the car seat, putting the bag by her feet and a cheese stick in her grasp. “Her name is Ashley. She's Natalie’s sister actually.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She knows. “Well, isn't that just nice. What did you do?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We made lollipop crafts but it's not until tomorrow I can bring it home. Where are we going?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena hops in the front seat, revving the engine before locking the doors and making sure she can go with all streets cleared, “We are going to drop you guys off and then we need to go to Kierath’s appointment- we’ll be gone for a few hours but you, she looks to El Marayah in the rear view mirror, raising an eyebrow. “ You, be on your best behaviour. Remember to remind Sister Ruby around dinner to take your medication.” </p><p> </p><p>“Okay. Can I come?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The twins might be magnets in real life. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara leans her arm back, tickling her knee with slight squeezes as she squirms, having no way to move while she's laughing and until she has a smile on her face. “Next time, babe, it's a little bit of a long drive but you don't worry. Dinner will be dropped off so don't worry about that and tell Nat there's gas in the tank.” El Marayah also remembers most out of them all. She nods, reaching to hold Kierath’s hand whose too happy to, dimples popping in his cheek</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>Dinner:</p><p> </p><p>5:29 p.m</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, so. If I add one to five, what is it?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Nine?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie grinned with Kayilyah groaning into the kitchen table, hands pulling down her face dramatically to show the red of her eyeballs. “This is so hard, can't we just…..not?” She is also not a fan of math. She loves the other subjects, especially science (blowing up things like a volcano is super, super cool) and art, where she can make anything and look twice as cool anyways. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Let's try one more time and I know you can get the answer, okay?” It was a pull and tug sort of game of the past half an hour with her homework, negotiating and trying to find a way out but Natalie knows it's a distraction. Homework is important, even for the younger kids in school as a independent tool to follow even if she hates it but there's a few more then she'll be one even sighing and picking up the pencil again</p><p>“Yes! Yes, you got it!” Kay lifted a fist in the air of triumph before fist bumping Natalie, thanking them to help with her homework before going up the stairs, ready to play before dinner. Ruby watched and then used the wall as a leverage, arms wrapping around their shoulders, letting them sink and relax for now. She knows they have a soft spot for her, adopted, lost a close one to her due to suicide…..it's heartwarming. “You're cool, you know that right?” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie blushes, moving over on the couch for her to sit down, shrugging. “I know she has all of you but she might need an outlet, talk to someone who really knows it. Er- no offence.” And it isn't by rudeness of anything, Ruby knows Lena is grateful for that and even more by Kara, respect for them when they're here goes for a long way. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The ding of the doorbell makes Ruby tense – nobody would be coming over. In a blur, Ruby has Angelena in her lap, in the living room, the curtains shut and Natalie creeping down the hallway, glock in their hand with eyes upstairs, noticing on a good note that the children are all in the play room, their finger locking it quietly. Ruby almost calls out to ask who it is before they're opening it and- pizza? Pre-paid pizza? Who the hell……</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mrs. Danvers-Luthor ordered around four p.m and hoped that this was a good time. Enjoy your evening.” The lady is nice to even explain what's going on before they have two pizza boxes in one hand, the gun in their waistband to not……freak her out even more with a angry, stricken expression of saying ‘what the hell are you doing here’ without any words. They at least made sure the gate locked behind the pizza car, with a firm click and red button buzzed </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A flick of their wrist and the door was open, putting it on the kitchen counter before going to confirm Ruby that it’s okay, “Lena ordered pizza but I didn't know – sorry for the scare.” Ruby lets out a breath of relief, kissing Angelena’s forehead to calm her down too because babies feelings are usually a good resort when someone is nervous. Especially a baby who has…..Daxamite-mind reading powers of course. “Kids! Dinner is ready!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And that's when the stomping of feet, the dinging of the elevator were present, Ruby putting Angel in her baby chair with Natalie catching a crawling Jacqueline coming out of the elevator as she squeals, being thrown in the air slightly. “What did Lena say about using the elevator?” She didn't like them when the kids use it but Quinn shrugs, giggling and sniffing in cheese and crust for the night </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They usually all eat in the kitchen or the living room but they guess it's a movie sort of night. All choruses of “Thanks!” came from the children of Ruby helping them dish up their food, a little bit of vegetables on each plate because she'd never hear the end of it and sitting down in the kitchen with Natalie, feeding Angel her own mushy food instead. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Do you ever think about settling down? Starting a life together?” It seemed like a fairytale, Kara is still Supergirl even if she doesn't participate in acts that she'll be too violent at, Lena is still saving the world in her labs when they need it, the children are their legacy but with them it's different. Ruby doesn't know what she wants to be, a singer maybe? Natalie is going to work for L-Corp but not in the headlines, thinking more of a tinkerer and of why they own a freaking Garage. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby squints her eyes, a towel on her lap with her hand hovering, holding a spoon filled of mushy baby food for Angel, a bib clasped on her. This is their future, their past and their present. They don't want to rush Ruby, they'd never do that but…..violence is always there, stuff with always happen with the other Luthors, there will be more job opportunities and not to mention Kara both wants them to go to college. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Isn't that what we are doing?” Ruby states plainly, putting the spoon down and rested against the counter with the bowl, eyebrow ticked up and maybe being a Daxamite and a Kryptonian wasn’t their destiny to be something like that anymore. </p><p> </p><p>“Are we?”</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>11:28 p.m</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Kierath! Hey, sweetness, look! We're finally home,” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>San Ciego isn't far from National City but it is with a five year old, a very impatient and who hates his car seat kind of kid and Lena looks over her shoulder, he's rubbing his eyes from waking up from his nap and staring up at the bright lights of the city. “Are we going to the hospital now?” They do need to go to the hospital for check ups but not tonight, tomorrow morning for sure but it's the most they've got out of him since they left and that was two hours ago and a gas station stop later </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara shakes her head, “No, not tonight honey. You did really good at your appointment, Kierath.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He did extremely well, most times is when he has to talk to the physicians and speech-language pathologists or SLP, educate in the studies of communication, different developments and other disorders. They did find out that Kierath doesn't have autism which was on the line for the last year, he does speak but it is very rigorous a lot of the time and they now have clearance to get him into a comprehensive treatment program at his school. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But…..but I am different.” Speaking into space bubbles, it's like you're talking but taking ten seconds between each space and they're trying to get that out of his mindset. And the word also, Lena thinks, kissing his head with unbuckling him, taking his school bag off the floor with Kara picking up the work bag, Lena’s purse and locking the gate behind them. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Acceptance is easy for Lena, she's pretty sure it will be for the next hundred years when Kara is still Supergirl and she’ll be aging slower and faster of being half alien. Acceptance. But with this, it just seems different for all of them and of course it isn't easy or uncommon in their family, obviously, but it just rattled her core when they found out his condition- all of their conditions. But she is getting to better terms with it, all of them are to help him and help him heal at the same time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She sits him on the chair, untying his shoes, letting him play with her fallen hair from her messy ponytail from the already stressful day, tugging his fingers. for his attention. “You are different but everyone is different, me and Jeju are different. You and Ellie are different. And you know what?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What?” He whispers like a secret but she never wants him to be. Even this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“That is okay. It is okay to be different and maybe some kids at your school don't speak the same way as you do. Maybe some don't have the same hair as you do. But that's okay because that's what they are and you don't have blonde hair or red hair. You have brown hair like me. And sometimes that's how it is.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Comparing speech difficult and hair colours isn't what she wanted to intersperse but when he hugs her goodnight, brushed his teeth, combed his hair and promised for a bath time in the morning since he's too tired to for now, it's enough for her too. “Goodnight Mommy.” And he doesn't stutter this time, progress she thinks, blowing him a kiss before closing the door with a little light in. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara is in the bathroom, smiling at her in the mirror and brushing her teeth, all in her naked glory of broad muscles and soft skin, kissing her temple. “Join me for a shower?” Probably why she's already naked. Placing the baby monitor on the counter along with two towels and Kara’s hands already taking her clothes off, giggling and shushing each other to not wake any of the kids already. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>2:28 a.m</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie groans, hearing Angel’s cries and hits Ruby softly, reminding themselves at the last second to lightly tap her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“She's your daughter until the sun comes up.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Notes: I personally think Maggie would buy the Supergirl themed curtains. Just my opinion.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Ellen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The New SuperCorp Household, National City</p><p> </p><p>March 22nd, 2022</p><p> </p><p>Time on the Computer: 9:57 a.m</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Are you nervous?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course not.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So naturally, you're freaking out.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena sighs, dropping the earring that she's been trying to put in and look nice for once of the past month, arms wrapping around her hips with the chin tucked into her showing collarbone of her simple light grey shirt with a soft ‘V’ to it but not too much, looking into Kara’s eyes in the mirror, “I'm so fucking scared, Kara.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She nods, kissing her cheek. “I know, your heart is beating pretty fast.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I shouldn't be.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It's okay if you are.” Kara insisted, brushing her hip softly, she's still in her underwear and not dressed halfway down still. One of the many see throughs of being a powerful, admired and hard working people in the business industries is seeing their personal life too, whether on social media, from the press or paparazzi but this time was sort of both, Lena showed a picture of her, Kara, Blaire and the two girls, Kayilyah and Jacqueline of</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“As many as you may know by the press or the paparazzi photos of the past week, we are adopting two more children into our already growing one. Blaire was my bestfriend. She still is. Sadly, over a week ago, I had a phone call around two in the morning saying that she took her own life, her Father, heartbroken and terrified as well, drove down and we almost had her funeral immediately.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No more pain. No more struggle. No more fear. You are made completely the way you are and you are free. Struggling with anxiety, insomnia and depression since we were both kidnapped, held captive, both survived it but mental illness is mental illness and it took over you like a cloud.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I love you forever, I will love you forever, but with you gone you ripped my heart out of my chest. Your birthday is in twenty one days. Twenty one. You were going to come down with the girls, we were going to walk in the park and see the Supergirl statue since they love and are on so awe of how I built it (I didn't build it, physically,) but you always laughed along and told them to never grow up. We planned to have the weekend with wine, crackers and binge watching your favourite shows when the kids are asleep. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The pain digs deep. I've been in a lot of fear and uncertainty of me saying “I can't do this” before; for many months at a time, highschool, college. Taking over the company. Being kidnapped more than once. Being targeted more than once. Being taken from my own family more than once. Being a victim by my own blood. But this is different, it hurts more than I can say but in reality, you'd slap me on the back, making me choke on my wine and say “you can't do nothin’ without hope!” because I loved your country accent so much. I love you so much. Our family loves you so much . Your friends do too. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I'm so heartbroken that Blaire won't see these precious, perfect angels grow up into amazing, amazing people but Kara and I will do our best to serve, raise and love and care for these perfect, perfect girls. Hope is on it’s way and I can see you now, running around up in heaven or which ever you believe in.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That was Lena’s post confirming of Blaire’s death was to the questioning ones and it was more painful for Lena to tap 'Post' on Instagram, it was all true and all written at four in the morning after she couldn't sleep from another nightmare with Blaire’s favourite tea, Mint tea in her mug and a little bit of closure for all of them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex made a similar post. So did Natalie. And Adam. All suicide survivors. All knowing what it's like. All typing, “You matter. You are worth it. You are needed in this world. You are not a burden. You are loved and grateful. You are worth it.” And giving both Kara and Lena and Kayilyah and Jacqueline a big, long hug after with wiping tears off their faces and knowing hope will be there to catch them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But Lena is freaking out. In all sorts of ways of course. Like she's being asked to be on the Ellen Degeneres Show in precisely…..seventeen minutes by now. And how Jacqueline isn't sleeping in the night, precisely in her crib and they get tired of getting up, getting her to sleep that they just let her in their bed, sprawled out and snoring. And how Kayilyah is being diagnosed with autism. And how they support, help and care for that. And how she needs Blaire, a sign. Anything to keep her upright. Anything to show she's still there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She nods, relaxing a little bit. “I know. I just…..I just want it to go okay. Perfect, even.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You're cute.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hold my hand?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara rubbed her back before she sighed, getting up and super speeding around the room. For Kara it's normal, she's moving at normal speed, almost tripping over her feet to zipper up her pants and tuck her shirt in at the same time before she's talking to Natalie in the hallway before sitting next to her again in three seconds. Super speed helps her a lot if she's rushing or running late though she tries to do it subtlety </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, okay ready. Are you ready?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine babe.” Kara reassures her,  It's going to be fine. One, two…..”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Please welcome Lena and Kara Danvers- Luthor!” Ellen, the queen, Ellen Degeneres welcomes them with the screaming audience in the background, they're all very exited when three minutes later it finally calms down and they're introducing themselves, why they're here and what they'll be talking about today </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ellen clasps her hands together, “Fir dr of all, I know we’re all here today but my condolences do go out to your family and friends.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena smiles, nodding once, “Thank you, we do appreciate and know all of your guys love and support coming in as well, our nieces do see it and smile at every comment as well.” Kayilyah doesn't necessarily like watching TV as much as the other children but whenever Lena’s phone bings of a retweet on Twitter, on Instagram, she smiles every time and it warms her heart, rubbing her natural curly hair every time. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“As you know of the black lives matter protests that's been starting around 2013, nine years ago now dedicated to fight against racism, anti black violence and police brutality, it upraised in the death of an innocent, unarmed man of Georgie Floyd back in June 2020. As many of has seen that video, how did you feel when a cruel, not understanding how act happened to you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara took a breath, trying to control her already-there anger, the past two years, she has been doing interviews, reports, an idea for her book to talk about in of how Ruby is not white, how Maggie is not white, James, J'onn, M’gann…..and still, when they're out at the bar, at the park, they get those kind of looks. But with the feeling of that look with them being, of course, white, and their two little girls aren't white. It just feels different, it feels like they are aliens but they shouldn't feel that way, not no more. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I would say…..I would say it didn't do me that much….justice, until I saw it for myself? If that makes sense? You can believe what someone is explaining to you but the cruelty in it is just….heartbreaking but with trying to comfort yourself and your family when you know it's an injustice act? Unbearable, it felt like I was trying to do all of this, this and this but then the reality of oh, we have different coloured kids, we've always had different coloured kids but why is this different?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena nodded, her chin in her hand. “Yeah, me too. Like when we adopted Ruby back in early 2020, it didn't feel like we had the hairy eyeball on us because of the topic of Ruby’s case,” Kara nods back, they didn't get that much media of her skin colour but of why they were adopting Ruby, why they were going to court, “but now it feels like everyone is watching us, personally, I don't have an opinion on skin. My ex, African-American. My biological mother, Irish. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It sounds like such…..you know,” She laughs softly, not knowing if she can swear on the show, “Bullshit. But I Until recently, when a friend engaged me directly and I could not look away. I was asked;<br/>“Why are you so quiet about BLM? Do you think some kangaroos matter more than racism?”  The latter half of that question alludes to my active campaigning for donations to wildlife hospitals during the devastating Australian bushfires at the start of the year. And to answer that question directly, do I think the lives of kangaroos matter more than racism? No I do not.<br/>There are 2 main reasons why that question angered me.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena takes a breath, Ellen, the angel, said to talk as long as she wants to because it's been almost a month since they both posted online and addressed it but didn't talk, “First, it implies that some issues matter more than others. The way it was phrased strongly hinted that he felt that the Australian bushfires mattered less than the Black Lives Matter movement. Like about the number of issues the world is facing. From environmental disaster, to the extreme poverty some countries find themselves in. Or how about overpopulation? Or the Rohingya crisis? Or animal abuse? Or the Hong Kong protests? Or human trafficking? Just because I didn't post a black picture on a Tuesday, don’t mean I don't care.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara whooped before everyone else started clapping at that because wow, did she marry a good one. Ellen smiles, clapping along, “Oh, Lena Luthor, we fall in love with you everyday. And you, Kara?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara hums, “Ummm, I wouldn't say the exact same things as Lena, I did deal with white privilege in highschool, in college – even before I was adopted, I didn't understand why the other kiss would pick on or bully the coloured kids, I remember asking why are they pushing him around and they called him the n word and….I didn't understand. Is there a word for white people? For all coloured people? Um….I sort of lived through that's stage, I don't know any better, I was a kid but I still saw the mistakes and racism even though I didn't know what it was.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Who told you and when did you realize that it's everywhere in the world, not just because of the horrific few deaths of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery and the people that weren't on TV and were treated indifferently?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Probably in boarding school.” When Lena thinks back to her years at boarding school, they slapped a sticker of “PRIVILEGE” on the school’s name, she doesn't think she had ever seen a coloured person there. And she was there from grade seven to grade twelve. Five years. “I remember it was like being a fish in the ocean of trying to balance school of how hard boarding school academies are, trying to fit in with your peers but also the reaction of black teacher, or a piano teacher or a cafeteria person- it was different to se their reactions, some looked away, some grimaced, some smiled. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But that was in Ireland and when I got to America, I sort of realized that it was okay to use my voice and not shrink under the headmistress’s eye to say hello or something, like systemic and generational racism is real and I'm so sorry that some people are like that, follow that “lifestyle” to disrespect and treat people unfairly of who they are, I can't change myself, you can't change yourself and a lot of the time it just hurts to see it of how our closest family members are treated that way still.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara rubbed her back as her throat started to constrict on itself, choking up and rubbing under of one of her eyes, “And I do want to keep my family safe, my wife, our parents, my children, I have a powerful job and work lifestyle but a lot of the time, I need a break.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ellen nods, “And I would understand that, immensely, I’m caucasian, always have been, my wife is Australian and caucasian, we care and support and want the wild to be a better place if we keep fighting for black lives matter, for appreciating and embracing for others of their backgrounds that contrast our backgrounds. Speaking of children, out of all of this, you did adopt Blaire’s children who she adopted, correct?” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena nods, sniffling a little bit but smiles, “Yes! Yes, um, it's not common that two little girls go through two adoptions in one single year, actually, but with Blaire giving us her responsibility in the court papers, it was almost immediate to adopt them. In the girl's culture, they were supposed to have one name, two to nine middle names and one last names but from being adopted early in their lives in America, their family decided on one middle name. The oldest, Kayilyah Hailemariam Tucker is seven and our oldest out of everyone except Ruby.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And then our second youngest, Jacqueline Simangaliso is just fourteen months older than our granddaughter, Angelena. Both girls background are the  Northern Ndebele are an ethnic native group and down the line of Zimbabwean Ndebele from the Zulu nation, but their language is more similar to Zulu and Xhosa.” Kara breathes out in a rush; the first thing they did was look through Blaire’s papers of adopting, the girls’s family are still in southern Africa but the parents ran off after they were adopted and not in contact with the rest of the family and from Ellen’s surprised expression, it must not be shown they know more than they look like </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“We wanted to make sure they would be comfortable with us, especially Kayilyah, both are different with physical touch, both are different in their own ways of comfort and that broke when we did get them,” Lena remembers when Kayilyah was sitting in Alex’s lap, staring straight ahead and brown eyes empty as a swimming pool, oddly comforted by the older redhead. “But we didn't want to think we were Blaire or we were their parents, we are just adding to their family, to their support system, we are here for them and we love them and sometimes that is hard for kids to understand that.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes! Yes, which was my next question of how you dealt with going from four children to six children?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Not very well. The first twenty fours was just the word: stress.” Laughter in the crowd and Lena giggles, rubbing her cheek, remembering how much tears she shed of how much stress she did have. “I really leaned on Kara that first week when we were planning the funeral, the taxes of her house to cover, the mortgage, people was asking what was going on, we were fighting…. It was rough.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“First of all, I was depending on you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena shakes her head, “What, no. I could not have done that, I was so close of calling a babysitter. Listen, I love my kids, one of them is almost two years old, one is turning twenty this year-“ Ruby and Jacqueline’s eighteen year gap really showed how old they really are and how it messed with Kara for a few days. “-it's fine. But the mental proceeds of that was, I knew it was going to happen when we moved into this new house but it didn't help.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is that true? An eighteen year gap?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara nods, leaning her head on Lena’s shoulder in support, “Please don’t say that out loud, I might be getting gray hairs soon. Plus a Granddaughter added to the mix really messed with me, not in a bad or not supporting way but just in a logical way.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So, mental health is very important, especially for a topic like this, have you ever dreamed this is where it would be?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena looked to Kara, gesturing for her to go, the blonde shook her head, a fond but small smile on her lips. “Um…..no, no at all. First of all, I do want to honour Blaire, the whole situation we do have in our hands, how she'll be remembered and how she left us. We do want to make a mental health advocacy a huge part for our careers, my writing, her donating to amazing foundations and we have opened up to it, talked about but with it on in our family, it just feels so much more to be grateful, to be with family- it's a lot.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena squeezes her hand, “And you know, suicidal thoughts are suicidal thoughts even what age you go through, I've talked about my own childhood trauma, depression and post traumatic stress disorder which I’m diagnosed with, it's hard. And especially with little children around, at the same time you want to say ‘I need help’ and ‘I got this, I'm their Mom’ and I think that's what scared Blaire the most to…..she did everything for a reason, why she drank tea in the morning or why this and why that, I think she was struggling for awhile but didn't exactly say the words.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ellen nods, she's seen too many people in the industry, business, directing, acting, and people who fall off the short end of the stick and don't get help but there is help available for everyone and there should be no shame in it. “Yes, and I think the most successful people are afraid to get help because of what someone will think of them, like, oh well I didn't know that about them or something and I just think that's unfair and……cruel, to judge someone like that. Of what they can't control. Is there a boundary of talking about something with your children, especially like a topic like this?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I….if it were up to me, and it's not, the children have mental health of their own and we talked to a physician if we should discuss it and we have, gently. I'm only twenty seven with six kids, Kara was worried about my own mental health before and to explain how Blaire…..passed away, but we have.” It was a tough few days to xolani that to the children, some of them didn't get it, Quinn burst into tears when he realized that Blaire wasn't ever going to come back, logically, it was hard. Lena hated it. “I think it's a very delicate topic to discuss with any children, the children didn't see why people were giving us dirty looks with Kayilyah and Jacqueline but they're still kids but they also see the right from wrong.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I don't know if they picked it up from Lena,” Ellen chuckles along with the crowd while Lena's hands in her face before Kara is pulling them away, “but their smart, exceptional children despite the horrific abuse and suffering they went through before we adopted them, they do know what's right from wrong, whether it's from snatching a toy, not sharing or asking a stranger what is their deal for staring. They know the paparazzi people but when it's not, they do get a little hot headed.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“That's true! That is true, our Granddaughter Angelena, doesn't like when the cameras flash of the paparazzi so she usually screams at the top of her little lungs to get them to go away, and I find that adorable.” Lena chuckles, she's only a couple of months old yet but man, her crying, whether it's at three am or three pm still scares her for whatever reason but that always seems to make her laugh </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Well, I was so glad I got to talk to you two today and maybe we can get a chance to this year. Love to your family and have a good day. Be kind to one other!” The iconic line makes Lena bean with warmth, she’s watched Ellen ever since she could remember and they were just on her show. On the show. They both wave and smile goodbye before the organ they were added to ends, the Ellen Page popped up of merch, of donations and Lena sighs, slumping onto the desk.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“That was so stressful.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara rubs her back, offering her comfort but she almost shoved out of her chair with a warm hug, Lena’s shaky breath on her neck, “Did I do good? Do you think people will be happy?” A reason why Lena was so nervous today was because of people’s opinions of how she puts her words, how she means it and literally just her talking but they covered all the points, their reasons and respecting Blaire's privacy all at once as well. She just wants to do good. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, of course, sweetheart.” She kisses the top of her head before moving them to the bed, “Lena, it's okay. You're okay. We won't have another interview until April or something- what do you need?” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Just hold me?” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She nods again, wrapping her around the blanket, warm and comfortable and humming a Kryptonian lullaby before she's asleep as well. </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>One of them wakes up to prodding hands before the little creature is on their lap and Kara doesn't really care, pulling them closer - this might make her sound like she is insane but every and each of their child smells different even if they use the shame shampoo for bath time. (Except the babies, they use something different for their more sensitive skin.) – but she hears a giggle and it's Quinn, watching her sleep. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, baby.”</p><p> </p><p>“Natty told me to come wake you up for dinner time,” He whispers, not wanting to wake up his Jeju but her eyes bulge, pulling him down to lay with Kara whole getting up and rubbing her eye to we better – yup. The clock says six thirty and she groans, Natalie has been letting the parents sleep more (they need it, obviously) but it feels like years go by when the two nap, somewhat more exhausted when they wake up? If that's possible? “Mama?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” She chucks her pants and belt into the walk in closet – she almost married Kara on the spot again when Kara announced the house didn't have a built in closet for the two of them but it only took a weekend and a few days for her and Alex to build one and it’s beautiful. – The children especially like running through it, around the island when she hoists Quinn on it, picking up her comfy clothes for home</p><p> </p><p>“I miss Mommy.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena stills on the spot to pull up her shorts, it's always a little bit of a three second pause before scooping him up, his legs around her hips and pressing kisses to his cheeks, “I know, Quinn. I know.” He's been a little bit closer every day but he understands why Samantha and Lucy Lane left awhile ago, when Ruby was in the hospital after the school<br/>Shooting and in surgery they told the family she was pregnant and a five pound premature baby in the NICU, Sam freaked out. She left that night with Lucy who was transferred to Washington.</p><p> </p><p>He's only three but he knows the right from wrong but also happy from scared and he knows his Mommy was scared but doesn't understand why she wasn't happy, he has Angel as a little sister, she's adorable, she's so little Mama, look! Was his reaction when he first met Angel. He's only three but doesn't understand adult’s reasons for what or why they do yet but he is sad about them leaving no matter how horrific the abuse was, he misses them. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Come on, let’s go wake up your Jeju,” She whispers, throwing him on the bed at a safe distance making him bounce and laugh before patting Kara’s cheeks and forehead as she mumbles, pulling him close. “Good thing I’m already awake!” Kara suddenly sits up, surprising them both and digging her chin in Quinn’s chest as he arched away, squealing. </p><p> </p><p>“Go on, we’ll be down in a second.”</p><p> </p><p>Quinn squeals again when Kara teases him, reaching for him but leaves him to run down the hall and then down the stairs, hearing him for a second if he needs help down. Lena tugs Kara up by her sweater strings before connecting their lips together, feeling her broad shoulders that wrap around her waist, squeezing and it feels so good to just relax, putting the businesswoman coat away, and of course Kara notices, kissing down her neck</p><p> </p><p>“Kara,” She breathes when she reaches her collarbone, sucking softly </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Kara, we need to go downstairssssss,” She hisses when she bites down, her fingers collecting handfuls of blonde hair while pushing her down on the bed again, letting herself fall down on her, breaths coming in quick little gasps. </p><p> </p><p>“I'm perfect right here,” Kara murmurs back, flipping them around again but Lena presses against her chest, “Come on, Natalie and Ruby are watching them,”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But I’m hungry.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara raises a eyebrow saying really? Which makes Lena giggle, sitting up again while pulling her along, feeling a little bit better. They were asleep for like two hours and Lena doesn't want Natalie to have an aneurysm-…..or not, they walk down the hall, the stairs and then down that hallway to see all the children on the couches, on the floor, all reading books and…..quietness. Lena rubs Ruby’s back as she turns slightly and smiling, “Well, this is a surprise.”</p><p> </p><p>“We wanted to get you guys in some more hours and they insisted on reading until dinner.” Ruby uses the island counter to balance on but catches herself at the same time Kara catches her by the hip- she just started to walk again after her injuries healing, she’s partially blind in one and there has been a few scares but it's been progressing good so far. “Woah, sorry.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And you're tired.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I'm fine, it was…..” Ruby bites her lip, moving out of her embrace to stir the spaghetti sauce in the pot, cheeks flushing a little. “Never mind, it's kind of stupid, forget about it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, don't.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby shrugs, reaching up in the cupboards for the plates and most of the bowls for the children, “I just wanted it to be a surprise, you’re….. no offence but you've been really tired the past few days but I don't want to seem like an…..” She looks over her shoulder to Angel whose asleep, rocking in the Rock-a-Boo swing set, lowering her voice anyway. “Asshole. So I started to just make dinner, the sauce might taste a little like, different because I made it and since you make it good with the recipe, I tried to replicate it but I hope it tastes the same as yours-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara presses a kiss to her cheek. “It's perfect, Rubes.” The young parent has also inherited Kara’s rambling.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure you're okay though? The post partum sweats have stopped?” As to many things in her pregnancy, it's been a good recovery of a c section, of her other injuries as well but the aftermath of breastfeeding, night sweats but most of it was being exhausted with feeding Angel every two hours with a broken back, trying to remember who the hell she is at the same time….it was a rough few weeks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I'm not even her Mother!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ruby, yes you are, the doctors said it would take a few days for you to…..connect, that's all.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“She cries every time I hold her, she cries when she looks at me- I have a neck brace on, bandages for my burns and I can't see out of one eye- I look like a fucking monster.” Ruby screamed, her lip shaking with her red cheeks from pure exhaustion and pain of Angel crying, down the hall in the old house, she looked away, arms wrapping around herself and hiccuping. Lena wiped her own face, blinking a few times and tried to not cry more than her own daughter. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But it was true, Angel did need to eat every two or three hours constantly while Ruby tried to sleep, eat and pump her breast milk all in that span. It's stressful for any mother. But Angel cried when she saw Ruby the first few times not recognizing her own Mommy, wanting to be rocked by J'onn or Natalie most of the time and the young Mother’s self worth was down, her body was for her daughter's every day and she can’t underhand who these people are, or why Natalie won't look at her or why Angel cries, seeing her face. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“She- you should take care of her,” Ruby whispers, mouth quivering to get the words out and Lena snapped her neck to see- Ruby nods, licking her lips. “She loves you and Kara and Natalie, I'm not…..she doesn't know who I am. She doesn't see my face. She doesn't know how much I love her but you guys have. a better connection than I ever could, you spent time with her for three weeks.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And they did.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was fucking hell. Angel would not stop crying and no matter how much Kara rocked, swayed or let her be in the Rock-a-Boo cradle for her, she would not stop. They were close to tears themselves before Lena knocked on Ruby’s door, she was awake and going to the bathroom herself, almost jumping when to see Lena there, hair frizzy from being pulled all night and bags under her eyes- “Can you try? She just…..she won't take the bottle.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby nodded, rubbing her eye before her sat at the rocking chair in the living room, pulling her top down before having Angel’s squirming, squealing body on hers and-…..quiet. It was always a surprise, the moment Angel started sucking to eat but this time wasn't when Angel held onto her skin, hard and pinching, a plead to not let go. Ruby smiled, “Hi, sweetheart. I guess you just needed me for a second, hey?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She was burped and then fell asleep right after but Ruby didn't mind, a hand on her back, kissing her forehead, “I know you don't really know me or remember me but I do love you, I just….I don't remember me. But people say I kept you away for so long in hiding to protect you and you are worth it.” She sniffed, addicted to the baby smell. “I’ve fucked up some really good things in my life, school, life went out of its way to put Sam into a rut of blaming herself of what she did as Reign….but you're the proudest thing I've ever done.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena grinned, swallowing past the lump in her throat, “You think she'll be okay?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara offered her a coffee cup, kissing her temple. “I think she'll be just fine and we’ll be here if she ever does need help but this is their time, she'll always be her Mother and Angel will always need her.” Months went on with those kind of nights but support and comfort were on the way for both of them and there still are.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No, not last night. We did take a nap earlier together and it was so nice – it was only for over a little bit of an hour but Natalie watched the kids,” Ruby explains, dishing up the plates up of hot spaghetti, corn bread and some sort of salad (it's Quinn’s favourite and Ruby just have seen he was in need of more comfort today, giving him a surprise) and waking Angel up, “Baby, you gotta eat,”</p><p> </p><p>Kara smiles over at Lena with Jacqueline hand feeding herself spaghetti just to get the sauce and cheese and breadcrumbs everywhere on her, babies get messy snd they couldn't mind a fool to dare. Kayilyah is now comfortable with them, with food, asking Natalie if they can help to get a second plate; it's the smallest things but these are big things for such little girls that are going to succeed, thrive and fall if they need to catch them as well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It won't be easy. But they both know they aren't alone and will need help and that is okay; and do a lot of forgiving as well.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Easter (Doesn't) Sucks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Prompt: So when I was growing up, I was actually super duper religious and it had been in my family for generations but when I realized I was pansexual and never looked back- my family, my old friends, none of them supported me and said I was going to hell. I didn't obviously, I've read the bible since I was in the tenth grade, I know all the parts of the bible and what they mean but it stabbed something inside me and just yanked. </p><p> </p><p>I don't like Christmas. Or Thanksgiving. But my wife and kids love Easter and I do it for them but there's always one moment where my wife comes behind me and says “I’m proud of you” really quiet. But it's louder than anything else for me to do this one holiday. Can you make a fanfic about Alex and Maggie doing that please?”)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I grew up that way too. I know exactly what you're feeling. it's not nice of it's not comforting even when you feel somewhat okay and safe where you are now from your toxic, narcissistic people in your past. It feels like…..icky. I know. Um sorry that you had to go through that and I am proud, so proud of you, at your house/apartment and feeling somewhat okay because sometimes that's all what we can do.</p><p> </p><p> And Covid guidelines doesn't make it better either. I love you and I'm so in awe of your strength and courage today-, even when some families are having the best- I’m here with you.”</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Sanvers Household, National City </p><p> </p><p>April 4th, 2022</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Time on Alex’s watch: 2:28 p.m</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It doesn't feel like home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But it doesn't not NOT feel like home either.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The day has been great so far, the whole family is hanging around close for the long weekend, when she picked Harley up from school to surprise him with Eliza before they all went to go out for ice cream. And then that night is when Maggie and Eliza stayed up late with the kids bath time and downtime that she got more hours in. And then when she woke up with a note on her pillow from Maggie of,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I'm sorry. I’m proud of you. There's coffee on the counter and leftover breakfast in the fridge. I love you.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And she broke down, holding the letter in her shaking hands, trying to calm down before she got too distressed and had a panic attack, counting her senses. People say there's only five senses but there's a lot more when you're hyperventilating and hugging the pillow to smell in the comfort of Maggie, soft and fresh sheets Maggie put on last week when she woke up with sweats and a nightmare.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(Surprised she didn't wake up this morning like that.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You're fine, you're fine, it happened…..years ago. It doesn't matter, it happened years ago, you're fine, you're fine……” Like a mantra, hugging the pillow and wishing it were Maggie - she's never been close with her extended Danvers family since she failed college and a “FBI” agent all in two weeks. Her cousins sometimes call. Sometimes text. Maggie’s text her too, an odd comfort for her family to say something to her and not her own blood but she's learned from a young age that all blood isn't family and sometimes it will never will be. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And then it got worse when she came out a year later.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When the phone stopped ringing and the texts stopped buzzing, when Maggie took the alcohol beverage away from her gripped hands, yelled at and cursed from Alex and seconds later, apologizing to Maggie and knowing she's…..doing the same thing to Maggie like how Eliza did- it made her sick. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(The hate comments, homophobic comments were so bad she asked Maggie to help her change her phone number, too humiliated to get the DEO to help knowing her protective, authorize role at the DEO and how she thought it would be if someone ever saw the real her.)</p><p> </p><p>But it didn't happen years ago.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It feels like everything is repeating itself when she wipes her eyes, a tug of exhaustion on her chest to say another minute in bed but if she lays back down, she won't make it for dinner. And then Kara will hate her. And then Eliza will raise her eyebrows in a subtle way of “told you so”. And then the kids will worry why she's not there. And it's a lot for her to handle, focusing on getting dressed in clothes at least.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But it's hard to do anything, leaning on the bed to slip socks on, in grey slim jeans with an a light salmon coloured tank top on, a white and red flannel over it, combing out her hair. Usually she would leave it but she changed her outfit twice already and this flannel is actually the one Maggie got her. But in the bible it said-shivering, she takes the flannel off all in one, grabbing aight brown cardigan instead, switching the light off. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her phone rang and it made her drop her fork, get out of your head, digging around it for it on the dining table before she swiped, not wanting to speak first.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ally, hey.” And it's Maggie, like the perfect view of a sunset, or when she has the best coffee ever or when they are at work and there's no one hurt or in distress and they can be stress free and they can help people. Like it's the best breeze on the beach of Midvale. It's like coming home. No answer. “Alex? Are you there?”</p><p> </p><p>The bacon and eggs taste like salt. “Yes. I’m- yes, I’m here. Yes. Hi.”</p><p> </p><p>Idiot.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you like your coffee?”</p><p> </p><p>Everything feels so much right now and I can't like anything good today. “Loved it. From down the street?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course.” A few minutes passed before she knew it and Maggie half sighed and her voice was watery and it made Alex feel so bad it was good she was sitting, biting her lip and looking at the phone. “I’m not going to ask if you're okay. I’m not going to ask if you need something, space, food, something like coffee I got you because it's five dollars more expensive than Noonan’s but I know you love it. I'm not going to ask you how you are and explain why I let you sleep in. Because you're in pain. Because it feels like everything you lived by and were going to live for is all gone and you don't follow the Old Testament.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And that you deserve better for people who don't use their religion as a weapon. I'm sorry and it makes me feel bad and you don't ever think you're over reacting because I don't talk to my parents.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tears streamed down her face, making her hug the phone but they both know Alex needs time to cope with this and Maggie is with the kids now, nothing Alex can do with joy now. “I just feel so gross, I mean Mom is here and we got her set up in the guest room and the kids are getting along and the DEO promised none of us is going in work this weekend……I should be happy right?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You don't have to feel anything that you don't want to, especially today. You know that right?” The softness in Maggie’s voice makes her heart strings curl and then twist. “Right, pretty?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Right.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Dinner is at six, Lena and Kara's place okay? I love you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She smiles every time. “You too, forever.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It doesn't last, not until she's coming into the driveway full of different people’s cars, a motorcycle in front of it. It's technically Ruby’s motorcycle but until she can do more physical things, like jumping and running since she just started to walk again with physical therapy, Natalie has been using it. What shocks her is that a black, shiny Dodge Ranger muscle car is parked as well, waiting almost and she hops out, plastic container of lasagna inside,</p><p> </p><p>While walking in, it smells of food, a little bit of oil and spices, all reminfing her of Maggie. Oddly. Flopping her shoes off, the barrel of kids come running but they're gentle, Kayilyah being the one to tug her into the kitchen, “Aunt Alex, you made it! Dinner is almost ready but Aunt Maggie said you need,” She makes a drinking with a cup motion and she smiles, letting her pull her into the room </p><p> </p><p>It's bittersweet, it smells too much like home, remembering when she would swim with her cousins until her lips turned blue, her Dad would grill steaks on the barbecue to see- Dom. Cant help but to smile putting the tray on the counter top, while hugging him he lifts her off her feet, “Dominic fucking Toretto, the hell you doing in my god damned house!” She didn't expect this, not with his grin and hugging Letty next, brown skin with darker longer hair down her shoulders, squeezing her so tight </p><p> </p><p>“Girl, I missed you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I missed you too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, brushed up on your russian?”</p><p> </p><p>“Here and there.” </p><p> </p><p>Letty smirks which comes easy, holding up her hand that shows off her wedding ring, “Finally got her?” But in English this time, making everyone smirk and raise their eyebrows. She blushes pink when Maggie comes behind her, warm arms wrapped around her hips. </p><p> </p><p>“You bet,” Maggie informs her, showing off her own ring before kissing Alex's flaming cheek. She sits on the counter, letting Alex rest between her thighs, nursing a beer and she locks her knees around her shoulders, “I remember this position from last night,” </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's later that night when Alex cries, leaving the living room from the movie and Maggie, Kara and Eliza follow her, hand clamped over her mouth and eyebrows clenched together, “Hes gone, isn't he? He's not coming back.” Losing her dad was long past overdue but losing her dad from him choosing him to go, not from a car accident or cancer or something else, he chose to. It was a choice. And she won't listen to his narcissistic, gaslighting abuse he put her through with “I did this for you” bullshit. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No. He isn’t coming back, Alex.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's like cold water on her face, dipping down like it's a water fall, dripping down to her ankles that make her bleed. How she thought if she stuck a nail in her hand, she would die and come back to life and be God’s saviour. Yeah, her school was very religious and put unrealistic things in a child’s mind, she knows. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“He-“ She’s barely keeping it together enough for the day, Maggie taking her beer from her the first hour in and she left her spot at the table just because of that. Kara putting the alcohol away before she can take anymore. Ruby looking at her like she's in some sort of “CAREFUL:FRAGILE” container. “He was the only person who helped me feel……normal. Even with believing if I was gay, I would go to-…..” Sucking her lip in, she sits on the porch step, not wanting to see the disappointment in any of their faces. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie sits beside her, a few inches from being uncomfortable, hands clasped. “I'm sorry that you are reliving this again, Alex. I know it won't get easier today but- but we're here.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mom!” Harley, too smart for his own good knows something is happening even on his best days and doesn't take a second chance to dodge kara’s hands to go back inside and watch a movie; to stay innocent. To stay a kid and watch a movie about the Easter bunny and eat his chocolate. He reminds her of her sometimes, he almost runs right into her but stops short, her red rimmed eyes and shaking hands together, looking…….”Are you okay, Mom?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She wipes her cheek, “Go back inside, baby.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He’s also very stubborn, holding onto her leg gently, his hands clasped together when they try and pull him in again. “No! Mom-are you okay? You said-“ His long blonde hair, brown eyes and russian accent still bold in his talking, he's too good. But one palm is rested against her cheek and his eyes glow red, reading her mind. She hates it, pulling the little hand off and of course seeing his Mother’s flashbacks and thoughts and not of the Easter bunny or eating chocolate.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Did you like the church?” She went to church from eight in the morning to eight at night, praying everyday, repeating some of the bible verses over and they would repeat Jesus’s fate twice, one in the morning and one in the night. Every Sunday. But on Easter was different, there was so much pressure and if one of them moved or took a ten second break to breathe, they would all have to start over again. The dress on her that Eliza made her wore makes her skin crawl but the pride in Jeremiah’s eyes, same shade as Harley’s, was worth it. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It was okay. It was just for a little while.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He cocks his head, frowning. “Do you not…..believe in Him?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>God, are they really having this talk now? She guesses so, pulling him to sit into her lap with all of them sitting this time, swallowing and he pulls the hair  away from her face, watching her eyes. “I used to believe in God and in Jesus- you know the story, Jesus is God and Mary’s son, he lived and died for us, our sins, remember?” The first time Harley asked, was a different time and he was a little younger, nodding along. “Yes, I did believe in Him and so much people believe in Him and other people believe in other things. And we need to respect that right?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes. You did?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I used to, I was much younger than you when we started though. Um…..when I fell in love with your mom, our other family didn't like it. How I loved your Mom.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He huffs out. “But it doesn't matter, a boy and a girl can like each other! Or a boy and a boy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maggie kisses her shoulder, rubbing his knee. “And we know that and we respect all of it but sometimes people don't and sometimes we just have to accept it. Some people don't like it but that's their thing. This is our thing. And we will always be a family, even if some people don't approve of it but that's okay.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But you're crying,” He addresses, moving the hair out of her face again, “Why?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes kids can understand sometimes with things they can't. “I just wish things were different. And maybe when you're older, we can talk a lot more about this but Mommy just had a bad day today, that's all. I'm not in danger or anything, just feeling a little blue.” Her heart swells three times big like the Grinch when he cups her face, plants a kiss on her lips messily and presses his forehead to hers, like how he learned from watching Maggie do it when she had a bad day. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She wants to open her eyes and watch him do a minute of meditation, the little humming thing Maggie does to calm, Alex and mostly herself as well but she closed her eyes and breathes for the first time today. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's when Maggie comes behind her when she's brushing her teeth, spitting in the sink and doing mouth wash, sitting on the counter just to watch her to a task without sluggish movements and humming to a LINKINPARK song under her breath. Self conscious, she wipes her mouth just in case she forgot a spot until she leans forward, lips soft and a touch of tongue. The light gums above them, Alex needing to fix it and arms wrapped around her, squeezing her hips. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I'm sorry today isn't what you framed in your mind as a little girl.” Maggie tells her, pouring her heart into kissing her lips softly, letting Alex smile and lean into her hands scratching her neck. “You are adorable. Listen, I’m trying to say my speech.” Her eyes opened, dimples popped and a little bit of melancholy in Maggie eyes, knowing her wife has gone through religion trauma since she came out and stopped being the perfect star at the bible, stopped going to church, sometimes stopped praying when a mission went wrong or Kara was hurt. It's hard for anyone. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I am so sorry you did have to go through that, I know it's difficult for you to talk about it,” It's a little bit of chastise in her tone but Alex has been closed off about since they adopted the children but they don't understand and she's not sure they want to hear about her personal experiences. Looking away, pain is easy but shame is harder to shake off, of course with religious trauma but maggie’s finger lifts her chin up, “But I’m here. You can tell me anything, when you're ready.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She nods, hugging Maggie. “I know. I love you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A kiss to her head and she knows she will do better and learn and thrive from this but with Maggie’s help, she'll heal. “I love you more, Ally. I love you more.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>pls be considerate of others on this day - some don't celebrate and some do but only kindness around here :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Cigarettes and Roses</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm crying tonight. It doesn't happen often, I usually write to get it all out or I do healthy coping mechanisms and crying is one of them but tonight is just downright sobbing. For the past five years, I've been in a fandom that actually turned into a family…..the Earp Fandom. If you didn't know, the show, Wynnona Earp, is a science fiction, western kick ass show that's based on original comics that's on a canadian program but sadly, it's ending.</p><p> </p><p>OR NOT!! There are many questions if till end like it took a break to come back on in late 2019. But there are many pentitions to sign and donate to keep the show going and find another organ to be presented on and many of us are crossing our fingers. I was twelve when I first saw it with my sister and I was so in love with it of the diverse talks, the queer representation and of course….sci-fi, demons, goo, angels…..it's very beautiful and inspiring and it's been keeping me smiling the past years.</p><p> </p><p>Things come and go. I know it's a tv show But the thought of it going away forever makes me a little melancholy because it helped me become who I am today, nonbinary and pansexual, but I will love this fandom and I love all of you.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Natalie’s Condo Apartment, National City </p><p> </p><p>April 3rd, 2022</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Time on Natalie's watch: 7:28 p.m</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They hate using their powers.</p><p> </p><p>But by coincidence, it's a Thursday when it happens, they're walking to the Garage for their twelve hour shift (9 am to 9 pm is more efficient than a 8 am to 5 pm desk job if they're being honest) with Adam and Georgia. Georgia got out of treatment as well, a few weeks after New Years though she needed a place to stay and of course both offered but she's at Adam’s. She was also in the closet where Ruby operated on Adam to save his life from a bullet wound. So yeah, close or not, she saw his literal guts.</p><p> </p><p>But they are having a damn good day already, they're getting Angel for the weekend, Ashley is going to come visit them for a little bit and that should be fun. And it's a Thursday, so close to the weekend that they're itching into anticipation with “All to Myself” by the Maranias Trench rock band, (it's a good song, you should check it out) and one of Noonan’s latte’s in their hand. Such a good day.</p><p> </p><p>It's barely five seconds before it happens but it makes them freeze, eyes glistening over. Okay, so they can see the future right? And they can move things with their mind? But they're not very good at it, J'onn is going to help them with it soon when he has enough time and they're off work but it's a flash of seeing a car going full speed and a body, some sort of body, maybe a woman, maybe a man, maybe neither, goes flying in the air and a shrill scream escaping her lungs the next and- they come back to the present.</p><p> </p><p>Looking around, they see the same….woman, short, dark spiky with pink highlights on the tips and a clear, almost greyish blue eyes. A screech of tires pulls them closer with their sneakers slipping on the slushy snow and slipping the coffee cup in the closest trash can but she cant see or acknowledge the ca- no, it’s a van, (their future visions aren't always the clearest or accurate) coming right at her and three, four, five men climb out- “HEY! Hey, leave her alone!”</p><p> </p><p>The girl turns, turning at their voice and not the future kidnappers before her eyes widen and a partly shocked mouth parts open, a whimper coming out of her mouth and this mustn't be her first time. “Get away from me! Leave me the fuck alone, Kasia!” She yells, pulling her headphone wire making them fall out of her ears, people are honking their cars for her to move but the first man, - Kasia – pulls out a knife and grins disgustingly. “Leave me alone!”</p><p> </p><p>She slips but catches herself, throwing her purse at them but he shoves it anyway, “Where's your fucking father? Huh? He owes me money and you should knows where that is, bitch!”</p><p> </p><p>He grabs her shoulder hard enough for her to cry out but nobody is helping her and they sigh, looking around but it's National City, not a lot of people care much but for themselves. Bastards. Running, they almost get ran over by a impatient taxi, skidding to a stop but they flip them off, sliding over the black van’s hood and a knife is poking at their throat. “Walk away, this isn't of your concern.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck you.” They spit, grabbing the sleeve of the jacket, twisting while knocking their foreheads with a crick! Making him drop the knife with a pained hissed expression and they elbow him in the face, letting him drop the snow. “Hey! Where did that girl go?” They ask a nearby watcher, recording with their phone and it's shoved in their face, shrugging with a hopeless expression but can still record. “Jesus- hey!” They see a blur of black, going into a simple small alleyway this time and they run, pushing people aside and their cameras on-</p><p> </p><p>The girl is trapped in the corner of the other three men, one with a gun and she's shivering, helplessness in her eyes as a fuck you to the people just watching it happen but they shove, they're almost taller than most of the people but they poke a supposed Kasia’s shoulder, “Let’s dance.”</p><p> </p><p>It's not a good idea. They know they can fight, they used to be seven years old fighting in the streets for the already stolen food and that person was stealing their food, for blankets, for any sort of money but they're grown now, literally. If they use full strength on someone, they could break their nose, cheek bones and break their face in one go. They aren't cruel. But they're also not useless with their powers, running full force for their knees while slamming Kasia on his back with a gasp coming both out of them and ooh, that wasn't exactly smart </p><p> </p><p>They don't work for the DEO. They do go there for weekly reports if anything happens, threats, weird parcels and gift boxes coming to their house, anonymous texts…..that sort of thing. But Alex also does medical care for the aliens in the family (all of them to be in fact, except herself and Maggie) and strength training, sparring, you get it. They know to throw a punch or two but they've never fought more than two people at once. </p><p> </p><p>They're on their side from a swift kick to the ribs and they scramble to get up but they're too late, they're surrounded but the girl isn't. “Get out of her- ow, you fucker! Get out of here! Run!” They grunt at the last word before they're curling into a ball, hands covering their face but it doesn't protect their back, shoulders or ribs for that matter and they don't forget the look the girl gives her over her trembling before their eyes roll in the back of their head </p><p> </p><p>Somehow. Somehow, how they end up at the DEO, they aren't that great at flying since Daxamites usually just jump really high in their young years. So when Alex Danvers, Director of the DEO sees Natalie stand shakily, blood and dirt and sweat over their face, neck and clothes, they grumble out, “I'm a hero,” Before falling to their knees and slumping on their side before blacking out again.</p><p> </p><p>“You're not a hero by the way,”</p><p> </p><p>“I so was!” They scowl at Alex's amused grin, writing down their injuries on a clipboard paper and clicking her pen, “I was! I fought off five guys, I was taller than all of them but they were…..well, do the math because five against one is not very good odds!”</p><p> </p><p>“No shit, you slumped over like a rag doll coming in here, you idiot.”</p><p> </p><p>“Idiocy get people nowhere” is also the Director’s motto but when they're back at their apartment, ordered to be on her test for the next three days, icing their bruised and purple covered blotched back, kicked ribs and a black eye, wincing to sit down with their aching body and turning on the TV, it's a surprise. “Secret woman saves Mackenzie Edge, Morgan Edge’s niece from a suspected kidnapping earlier today and she would like to personally thank the mysterious hero for their act! We’ll have more later on tonight-“</p><p> </p><p>Well, shit.</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>When they're in the Garage, trying to lift one of the oil jugs into the smaller bottles in a rush, they hear a knock on one of the main metal doors. “Yo! Can you turn off the music for a quick question, girl?” They forget the girl’s name who has a yellow coloured dye mullet that goes past her shoulders and a few piercings on her face and they don't want to use their powers to read her mind but she does and the place almost goes dead silent without Adam’s whistling and Georgia talking to the girl again </p><p> </p><p>“Whoever is there, spare me one secondddd,” They sing song but still sort of professionally, trying to not act like a goofball with the three energy drinks they've had this morning and it's not been lunch, turning around and- it's the girl. The girl. Mack? Mackenzie? Kenzie? They probably look terrible in their smudged brown working pants, a oil stained white tank top and they offer a hand but she hugs them instead and woah.</p><p> </p><p>She must be 5’4 at least but a firm grip makes them hug her back, bending over and rubbing her back when they realize she's crying, “Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. Hey- Sonny, can you get a bottle of water please?” They, another nonbinary ally in the Garage is….comforting, nodding with running to the mini fridge in the back while guiding her to sit down and offering their handkerchief, “Hey, deep breathes for me, yeah? One in and one out, ready? Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>Mackenzie is pretty in her black, sunflowers all over the design and a spiky choker on her neck that she had to take off to breathe better and she dabs her eyes though she looks like a raccoon with her mascara everywhere. “Oh my god, I- I am so sorry, I didn't mean to just,….come in here and cry, what I meant was thank you. I received your email and…..thank you so much.”</p><p> </p><p>They smile, nodding. “You're welcome. I'm always here at the garage if you need a free bodyguard.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mackenzie’s cheeks rise in a pink blush, looking down to her lap before rising her head with a little grin. “Thanks, Natalie.”</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>“Wow! Are you serious? What the hell did I ever do to you?” Natalie asks, a little surprised that Ruby slammer the door in their face and they swooped under the closing garage door, slipping through the kitchen door that connected outside in the garage to catch Ruby. They were coming over to ask if they still had Angel this weekend and boom, door shut. Ugh, they cannot deal with Ruby’s mood swings but they'd do anything for her anyway </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Nat.”</p><p> </p><p>They grinned, kissing both of Lena’s cheeks then hugging her hard and raised their eyebrows at Ruby on the couch beside Kara and Kaliyah. “She has been a little bit….of resources the past week” Lena explains and that's the key word for Ruby needed twice the help for herself and for Angel as well, turning around with a eyebrow raised, “And I'm sure she didn't mean it at all. Right?” Lena has also found herself to be the bad cop with it</p><p> </p><p>“I did.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ruby Gisele.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, I didn't.” She admits with a whisper and tears coming to her eyes, she's also very emotional. Natalie smiles gently, not wanting to spook her right away but they hear a little gurgle getting their attention and they fall in love all over again. </p><p> </p><p>Angelena Arias-Gortman is already nine freaking months old with her standing up to hold onto the baby crate, her pacifier in her grinning mouth and bright blueish, auburn eyes on their Mama, Natalie. Being in love with someone that isn't a significant other feels like a whole different love from intimacy, loving your parents, siblings, a close bond with your bestfriends…..but their love is for their daughter. “Well, hello princess.” A princess is right for how she's dressed in a diaper and a pink shirt with a tutu on the bottom of it </p><p> </p><p>“Mmmm…mmmm” Her hands rise as a single motion to be picked up and they don't hesitate to pick her up under the armpits, raising her over their head with a kiss to her cheek for a little cheeky grin in return. “Mmm…..mfg…..” They are also praying to the stars that shell say Mama first instead of ‘Mommy’ for Ruby. (Kidding. Kind of.) “You gonna talk to Mama? You want to talk to Mama? Yeah? Who's the cutest little star ever?”</p><p> </p><p>“Me!”</p><p> </p><p>“You?!” Natalie turn around to see Kayilyah sitting beside Kara before tucking her face in her neck of being shy and Natalie kisses her head anyway, sitting down. “Hey, kid. You okay?” Kayilyah also is the closest to Natalie except Maggie and Lena and Kara, they're both adopted, both have step siblings and both diagnosed with ADD as well. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They nod, adjusting Angel, “Yeah, I'm pretty good. Pretty good.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kayliyah nods, chasing PeeBee out of the room and hot on the cat's tail, it leaves room for them to talk and Ruby looks downright murderous. Sometimes she almost always looks like murderous but this is different and they lean back, eyebrow raised, “Yes? What got you so mad that you slammed the door in my face? What's your problem? I can't read your mind so- I can, but I don't want to, Ruby.”</p><p> </p><p>“You were with her.”</p><p> </p><p>“Who?!”</p><p> </p><p>“Mackenzie!”</p><p> </p><p>“Who?” Lena asks</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They sigh, “Mackenzie Edge, Morgan’s daughter or niece or whatever she is, she was targeted by a couple of hit men and I saved the day again, it was a couple of days ago but it's all cool. Um- why does it matter?” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena has had a lot of history with some powerful, destructive men in her business and one of them was Morgan Edge, they won't forget reading a tabloid about it online and shaking their head, knowing Lena wouldn't do that even though they didn't know her. She crosses her arms and Ruby has a face of 'this is on you’ but they frown, “You know she's not like your Uncle, right? She's a good person.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena has her business face on and doesn't say anything. “She's just a woman that's trying to make a name for herself. Outside of what her family did or does to people. I think out of everyone, you should try and understand that,” Lena swallows, her lip bitten to stop herself from smiling because that's what she said to Kara all those years ago. A little bit like power and a lot like hope for people to come and see what she delivers and gives to the world despite what her brother and Lillain did.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay. But, be careful. I still don't trust her, she's still a-“</p><p> </p><p>“Don't repeat that.” Natalie asks because they heard enough whispers and accidental mind reading of “they're still a Gortman even if they're not what their Father did. They're still a Gortman.” But Lena raises her chin, telling them Angel will be ready to go in the morning to pick her up for the next few days and leaving them alone. The look Ruby gives them and the whisper of ‘be careful’ almost slips their ears.</p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>Even though they lived in the same city and same sort of lived in the same area, Natalie doesn't even see Mackenzie until they're rushing out the door, Angelena in her pushed baby stroller, baby bag on their shoulder as well as their backpack when they drop their bills from the post office (they still can't believe their landlord makes them walk for their own damn mail) and phone in their hand, someone bumps into them,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Watch it,” They growl, bending down to pick it up but green eyes capture theirs and they immediately know who it is, a smile coming easy. “Oh, hey! I didn't mean to snap at you,”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She waves her hand, giving them the paper, “No problem. Where are you heading?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie flaps their hand, sticking the papers in their back pocket of their jeans, holding onto the stroller, “Ah, well, I was just on my way to drop this little one off and was about to…..I don't know if I work today so,” They shrug but the look on Mackenzie’s face makes them slowly start walking and- “You do know I have a kid right? She's only a couple of months, like nine or ten right now.”</p><p> </p><p>“You have a kid?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I-“ They squint their eyes, “I thought you would have Googled me by now.”</p><p> </p><p>“You're famous?”</p><p> </p><p>What the hell they think but keep walking beside her while she sips her iced coffee, eyes staring up at them to fiendish their sentence, “Um, yes? I'm- yeah, my Father is Robert Gortman?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And the other shoe drops. “You're- you're the Natalie Gortman?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They smile, nodding, “The one and only, you bet.” </p><p> </p><p>“So, um,” She stops in front of a particular building after they were talking about controlling parents and trauma after not doing what they want to do in life and how that's affecting them because that's normal between two young people with severe trauma of their childhood. “Maybe you want to catch up? I have a meeting here around four o'clock but…..I'm going to be real, I didn't google you, I didn't know you had a kid and you saved my life. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable or you don't have to but, you seem like a great person.”</p><p> </p><p>And after months of pain and grief and anger, they smile genuinely and keep walking next to the girl that seems that's going to flip their world upside down. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“They're blushing.”</p><p> </p><p>“They are not.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, I've seen Natalie Madison Maria-Gortman with over thirty girls before they fell on their fucking ass for Ruby, I know when they're crushing.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Georgia raised her eyebrow, “Thirty? I heard fourty.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nah- well, I don't know. Maybe. But look, this is the first time that they're smiling.” Adam tries to level with the two knuckle heads not even doing their work today, Sonny chugs another Redbull can in seconds while throwing it in the little blue box just for those and looks to Mackenzie and Natalie again, Natalie was tinkering in the car hood bent over and the brown haired girl on the stool, asking all about it what Natalie loves: their daughter and cars.</p><p> </p><p>“You can be happy and still be sad, you know.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, Natalie has been depressed and using again but they can try and be happy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“They're using again?” Sonny asks, puffing their cigarette</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Adam nods. “For awhile. Plus they're wearing sweatshirts indoors, you don't think that's a little suspicious.”</p><p> </p><p>“No? I'm wearing one right now!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie tried to block out their bestfriends’s talk not even ten feet away, trying to not focus on how Mackenzie’s legs swing and how Ruby’s would fidget- no don’t do that, you do not get to side by side your ex fiancé and a new girl you met two weeks ago you absolute lesbian, they tell themselves, “So what about you? You going to college?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They scratch their head but then stop not wanting oil in their head and Natalie blushed at Mackenzie giving them their rag. “Um, to be honest I haven't even thought about that and I’d probably do it in New York or something. Or New Zealand. Or Russia. Ooh, maybe Africa? I've always wanted to see some cool animals.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Anywhere from here?” It was a teasing remark and they teased back to her, almost flirting but it were true and it stung to even think about it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Is that……” They don't mean to let it out but the little dented circle in Mackenzie's arm when she reached up to take a few mugs out of the cupboard in the back of the garage for lemonade, she hides the arm easily but it's the size of a cigar that was put there. “Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just point.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She nods, sitting again while pouring the cold drink for all of them even if Sonny is lowkey making her blush and stutter her words all the while and it's almost four o' clock that Natalie doesn't want someone to just leave all over again. “I know, some people say worse things but….but I don't think you're that kind of person and I think that you know what's it's like. Not the pain of a cigarette but of…..you know.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The abuser. “Yeah, I…..yeah. You want company walking?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Really?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“For sure.” They take off their coveralls, moving out of it while rubbing their hands on the handkerchief before wrapping it around their neck and kissing Sonny’s cheek while giving them their jacket, phone and backpack. “Lock up at six, be home at six thirty and text me if you need anything, okay? Any of you?” Being the boss also has to make sure their coworkers are fine professionally and as friends as well. “Love you, love you, love you, love you, and love you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And there are many walks, many talking and when Natalie is walking down the street with Mackenzie a few days later, she suggests Noonan’s and they love the little hippie restaurant anyway, nodding along but they freeze when walking in the doors to see their family. Alex, Maggie, Ruby and Harley are on the table by the window and the stare Alex gives them, right beside Mackenzie and Angel in her arms – looks a lot right and a lot wrong </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing.” Ruby hisses when they're going bathroom, the door gets locked seconds later and she has a cane but all the while intimidating, they throw the paper towel in the garbage and raise an eyebrow, “I mean what are you doing letting her touch my daughter, walking around and getting lunch like it's so innocent of you-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Our daughter. Did you forget that my court of law, we each get her three days out of the week and that you signed to not put a restraining order on me since I’m the third call on your phone? And that I am your ex fiancé on court papers? Our daughter.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She breathes out her flared nostrils, a finger on Natalie’s chest and they almost smack it away but clench their fists instead, “You don't know what you're doing.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“What?! Being a friend, you always told me to get more friends, get out more, the shooting did not affect me because I wasn't the one who was shot or died or saw our bestfriend, Micheal, die right?” They yell, straining their ears and nobody heard them in the busy restaurant thank god, no suspicions and Ruby’s fire in her eyes sparks but they brush past her before a hand on their elbow makes them vibrate and still</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You're an idiot.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And you're crazy. You don't even remember me the way before you lost all your memories! Why should I go back to the one person you hate, deceive to see and hey, don't worry, Ruby is fine, she's got a school in her name, she saved eleven kids, she's fine, don't worry about her!” Lawson Highschool is being rebuilt since the bomb actually destroyed the whole thing and being rebuilt from a foundation by L-Corp and being named “Ruby Arias Memorial Highschool.”</p><p> </p><p>Ruby shakes her head, “Who are you? Who even are you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They shrug, halfway out the door. “Just stop. You're not going to find out who I am if you keep asking it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A ragged breath. “Stop lying! Why are you doing this, you are letting a stranger touch our daughter, you don't even know what her favourite colour is!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It's orange! Not bright orange, more softer, more lighter than that.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Jesus christ! Why do you care so much-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie laughs, “Why do you?!” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Oh. Oh- Ruby looks away this time, cheeks pink and ashamed and Natalie doesn’t know whose heart breaks this time. “You- you do? Why-“ A trickle of fear goes down their back at the thought of it, the thought of Ruby even loving them back, even a fraction of it makes them sick, makes them doubt and want to sweat and makes them want to cry. “Why didn't you tell me?” It feels like all the air in the world is sucked out while letting out a sob. “Why didn't you tell me you loved me? You couldn't have- you- you-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby rolls her red rimmed eyes. Here they are, both heartbroken, a little hungry for their late lunch and just heartbroken for heartbreaking their hearts. “Because you wouldn't believe me. And we've been fighting for the past year. Can we just forget about it? Can we just go back to being……friends?” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie feels themselves breaking and swallowing a mouthful of bitterness and truth. “Yeah, sure. Friends.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>got my driver's license last week, just like we always talked about, ‘cause you were so excited for me,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To finally drive up to your house, but today I drove through the suburbs, </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Crying 'cause you weren't around,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And you're probably with that blonde girl,</p><p> </p><p>Who always made me doubt,<br/>She's so much older than me,<br/>She's everything I'm insecure about,<br/>Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>'Cause how could I ever love someone else?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The hit pop song, “drivers license” by the Disney star, Olivia Rodrigo, plays through the speakers just when they strap Angel in the car seat, pecking her forehead before starting their 1987  Dodge Ranger car up, the loud rumble barely makes them feel anything before they're on the way to Kara and Lena’s house in the suburbs. “God, I hate this.” They mumble, looking at Angel in the far and then looking beside them, the spot empty.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They drove Ruby everywhere. They did everything with Ruby. They used to be bestfriends. They used to…..they need- they don't know anymore. Nothing makes sense, they know they want to work with the DEO but with a daughter, a little eighteen pound nine month old daughter and a ex fiancé to take care of on their shoulders is too much. How the hell does Alex Danvers even do this with two little boys, a wife and so much on their shoulders?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mmm.” Angel murmurs looking out the window in her little pink puffy jacket and they reach a hand to rub her knee at a red stop light. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know baby. I'll get ya back on Thursday, okay? Nothing to worry about with your Mommy, she's got so much tummy time planned out and I can take you to see your Grandma Rose again, yeah?” Their Mother absolutely adores Angelena with all her heart, her first Granddaughter ever and even though she's little, they're bestfriends as well. “You be good for Mommy, no more crying at three am because with all she wants is ice cream and diapers.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mmm.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They smile, pressing their hand to the little scanner on the brick wall to enter the house driveway, it beeps as green as the black metal gate opens and closes behind them while shutting the car off and unclipping her. She also hates her car seat. Baby bag, overnight bag, her favourite blanket and coming through the door with the other children running to them, “Nat! Hi Nat! Are you staying for dinner?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dinner. Food. They haven't eaten in a few days and thinking of it makes them feeling a little green but with the sparkle of Kayilyah’s eyes makes them nod, taking off their shoes, putting the bags down before undressing Angel herself, “Okay, sure. Sure. Where's your Aunts?” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“In here, they're cooking but it smells super duper good and Auntie Lena kicked us out for eating the rest of the cut up carrots and-“ And they stay. Undressing Angel until she's only in a clean, fresh diaper and her messed up hair, curled around Ruby in the kitchen chair but they feel out of space with Kara’s sympathy and Lena’s anger mixed in when they make an excuse, kissing all the kids goodbye and awkwardly half hugging Ruby to see her later </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Natalie, wait.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They're already close to crying and they don't want to do it here or they might not stop with seeing Kara, not Supergirl, not the invincible and hard working, unbelievable hero but they don't know who they need with wiping their cheek before turning around and their hand on the door knob. “Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You should talk to her,” Sunshine and sympathy in her voice for both teenagers, Kara still sees them as kids with issues, school shootings mess up with kids, mess up with what happened, a traumatic thing happened and both are going through it. She is too. As a parent. As a superhero who was infected by Kryptonite, solar flared and couldn't save her own daughter in the building. “She misses you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They scoff, looking in the hall. Ruby must get tired of looking at the same pictures everyday and not remembering any of what happened in the photographed frames. “Right because she loves me so much. Look, I know I don't know what I'm doing, my friend group is a depressed band, my parents are divorced, I can’t see my sisters and my dad hates me. She was my world, okay? It's hard to just see her slip out of my fingers like that.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I know it is and I can't really say anything to make you feel better like this but…..a talk would never hurt.” Kara rubs their shoulder with her free hand and they feel their chin tremble, “A real talk, no yelling. No blaming. How about this Saturday? A family dinner?” Ugh, more food. More people. More having to socialize. More everything. They can't, not with them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I…..yes.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>very emotional night for me but thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Old Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Gortman Industries Company, National City</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>April 5<sup>th</sup>, 2022</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Time on Natalie's Watch: 6:29 p.m</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The day Natalie has had, they doubt anything can get worse with the work meeting that turned into a argument with their (freshly divorced) parents about how the company is…..well, failing. And then they turned it in them when they asked who would lead the company if their Father stepped down from the throne and of course, they were hand chosen like a cherry.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>How about you? You're making all this talk like you're not the next heir!”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>“Heir? What is this, the 17<sup>th</sup> century?” They drawled, sipping the white wine in the glass. Their mother might be the top model and a</em> <em>brilliant scientist but she had the worst taste in wine; who drinks wine, white wine in the afternoon? Lena Luthor taught them better.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>His eyes glowed a deep red, trying to read their mind and their last thought was stolen and snatched, shouting out of his lips. “Lena Luthor is not your mother, your mother is here.” God, what a cliché this is, they finally have their family together, all their eleven siblings are separated into groups in two houses and their parents are……happy. But with them being together, physically, they</em> <em>don't know if that's what they dreamed of as a child.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Glass clinked lightly on the table, they walk over, hands clasped together and voice thin as ice, they stand right in front of him, matching blue hair and messy blonde hair. A mirror, one good and one……trying to be good. Natalie doesn’t know who is who. “Be careful what you say about her. She's been my mother for the past year, while you two couldn't figure out your own shit, you left me to try and figure out how to be a parent…..when I</em> <em>needed one and she stepped in.”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“She isn't your mother.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Their mother has always been self</em> <em>righteous…..a little nosy on the side. A little bit of self impairment; she gave them up in the homeless shelter to be adopted and they were in eleven foster homes. So she could go up and down the coast hitching rides from anyone and everyone, selfish and drugged out, they had to keep their sister in a adoption home and they were too old and too naïve to follow their rules. “She might as well be.” They answer, a hand coming down, slapping their cheek and muscles seized.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Whiskey breath. Blue eyes, piercing into theirs. No tears, selfishly though.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Watch what you say or-“</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>What?” They ask, disbelief he just hit them. Slapped. “You'll throw me away like the garbage you didn't ask for in the first place? Yeah, I know my place-“ But loyalty first, they lean forward, barely touching him but close enough for him to straighten up and move closer. “And if you ever threaten Lena, I’ll be the one to come at you. First.” Threatening people never works, whether it’s for the President of America or Lena Luthor but with this country and how it's going- they'd do it for Lena every day if they had to.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>You won't be able to.”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>They smile, winking. “See you later, Father.” Grabbing their coat, it's like leaving a therapy session with a weight off their chest and another added, their mother was never really to be disappointed at but this time, they look her up and down. Clenched jaw. Tears in their eyes. “Mother.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A slap on the window makes them jump, almost dropping the flask into their lap, making a motion of two fingers. “Get on, I don't got two dollars.” Not bothering to look up, probably a homeless person recognizing them from the streets, not understanding to leave them alone. But a slam on the window makes them huff out a breath of air of annoyance, twisting the cap on new turning to this already rude, interrupting person like……. “Laura?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She nodded, once, brown eyes pleading with a certain type of desperation before she was slammed into the window, the car honking at the same time of the alarm and glass tinkling, hand moving fast to unbuckle themselves. Grabbing their flask, backpack from their passenger seat before a man was crushing the hood of their car, “Motherfucker.” She curses, Spanish they think, she's yanked by the shirt before they're sliding across the console and tackling the man</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Move.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, can't. Dance?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“He is. Not. Nice.” She grits out between her clenched jaw, making them look to her before a hand is under their calf and one under their neck, cradling them and then throwing them against the car, coughing. Okay, he's strong even for a human if he is one but they need to either call the DEO or NCPD, crawling away before he's pulling them up to look at him. They trust Laura Croft with their life, her claws sticking out of his chest, face frozen and shirt slick with blood, she's hovering over them and huffing for breath.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hands wrapped around their hips, at the last second before their being tugged up running down the street and spitting out blood, “Laura- wait, wait, what- how-…..when did you even get here? I mean here? In America?” It's a little intrusive to say those things to anyone, she tugs them into some alley, looking like…..older. Shorter brown hair, taller for sure (not as tall as them) and still, Wolverine’s daughter with rubbing her knuckles that are smeared in blood and dripping on the concrete; fierce as ever and still as beautiful.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Laura isn't the one for English but understands, adjusting her own bag that's across her shoulder. “Look, I need your help. I know this is…..surprise, I am sorry about your car.” Eyes flick over their shoulder to the dented, smoking in the engine car. “But I need your help with some people, some very very bad people but I……need a friend. And-“ In a half yell, they shove them over, their head snapping across the concrete wall and she's digging her claws into another human.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(They know she's Wolverine Jr., but can she say more words than…..no violence at all?)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They guess they always loved that about her, in an adoption home coping to survive and stay clear from enemies or not.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And the second time in two months, Natalie is in an alley, a victim this time but swift kicking upwards, one sliced in the neck and she's punched herself before they're practically drop kicked on the ground. “Natalie!” Laura screams, she's being held by the waist and a gun at her neck before a solid boot in the nose was given and they saw black.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Noise ringing, their vision is blurry with looking sideways and they're in some sort of bed room- like the DEO medical bay.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Moving to their side, not knowing what's worse to lean against, their back or their side, seeing Laura beside them on the ground as well, handcuffed with huge white and almost plastic looking cuffs on with a button beeping red. Must've gotten her too thinking, weak fingers taking out the IV sticking out of their arm, the pasty sheets making their legs itch. “L-Laura? A-are you okay? Who brought us in?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They don't know who yet or why, it's not that they haven't been close with any of them, it's just…..their busy. And the family is busy. Alex is busy at work so they never really go for darts or pool anymore. But still in their outfit, patting themselves down but their gun is gone and their phone as well. Tip toeing, they untangle the black DEO sweater on, putting a fresh pair on Laura's bed, wincing at the trauma she went through to save them</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Creeping down the stairs, almost everyone is there and reaching them, Kara is there, slapping their chest hard and hugging them next, even harder. “Don't you ever scare me like that, do you hear me?” Smiling, they nod and hug her back before she's asking them questions and what the hell happened before they almost roll their eyes to see Ruby and Morgan there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“She's allowed here?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex elbows them, shushing. “Stop. And who is that girl?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Where are we?” A thick accent asking instead, answering Alex this time and Laura is in her hospital gown, the hem reaching past her knees. Looking confused, Natalie sits her down in a chair, trying to tie her hair into a ponytail to get the hair out of her face. “Who are you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie swallows, taking the wrap from Alex’s hand who moves to her for her injuries, pulling her hand close. “She is Alex Danvers, she is a family friend and she…..also runs this place. The Department of Extranormal Operations, where they help to stop alien attacks and…..anything else really. They are friends. I promise.” She gives them their hand, intently watching Alex and J'onn move around and the agents them watching them move around and watch Laura</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And……Lena.” She supplies, looking to the young heir, offering a hand full of blood and sweat and dirt but Lena, the fellow ally that moved across Russia in months to fight ex KBG’s……she knows what it's like to be used by a strong, controlling leader and spit out to figure out who you really are. Her mission was to kill Supergirl after Lillian experimented on her to give her power but the human side of her was always there like a little voice and she was shipped to America to get the job done but it never happened</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hello, Laura.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You are…..slander?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena grimaces, she was in the Red Room for training but she left as soon as she finished the missions, trying to get back home. Sitting on the bed, she wrings her hands together, “I was but I returned to America after a few months, trying to figure out who I was again. That was two years ago though, I don't do that sort of stuff anymore.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But you liked to?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But you did it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I was forced to, kiddo.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Laura looks down at her hands, aching with pain and blood soaking the wrapped knuckles. “Me neither. Don’t like.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena nods, smiling her kindness, knowing the young Wolverine doesn't want sympathy. The last thing, actually. It's like hot tea sipping into lips, trying to calm, “So what are you doing here exactly? I heard you were in Mexico after your father.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She shrugs, “I made a mistake, showed my face and they are after me. They want to rip me apart.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hunting mutants and certainly aliens aren't uncommon but that sort of wording means she isn't messing around and that kind of torture is the only kind that's clinked to is CADMUS. The Red room trains and shapes you into an assassin, they don't rip you to shreds or experiment. That's different. Or maybe it's the Reavers, an enhanced group wjo kills or hunts mutants, who did make the mutants into who they are; sometimes they get their powers at thirteen or earlier than that. Or experimented on.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And why should we believe you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Alex.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She leans against Natalie, a little closer lip grin. “You don't have to but by your morals, you are very strong of this place. Protecting.” Laura’s eyes read Alex, Director suit and all, catching the ring blinging on her finger, “Happy. Am need of help. You, good.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex squints again. “You looked me up.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And how do you know I’m……” Kara gestured her suit.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Laura lets her finger be clipped on, a little flashlight flickering in her eyes. Turning to Kara. “Alpha.” And then Lena, an arm around her waist and perfectly content in the Super’s steel embrace. “Mrs. Alpha.” Lena scoffs in her dry humour and how she isn't the first alpha, turning to J'onn. “Military. Maybe you had the job before, watching everyone else.” Ruby and Natalie. “Thing one and thing two.” And last but not least, Winn. “……..Joker.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Winn’s mouth drops into a surprised “o”, putting up a finger. “Woah, woah, woah, I should be alpha. I mean I’m the one keeping the team together, I got Sanvers back together- the kids together, I mean, I think I’m alpha.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sanvers?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And we are not thing one and thing two,” Ruby defends (herself) with a hand pointed at Laura.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I thought you proposed.” Laura points at that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby frowns, looking to Natalie who has a ‘dude, seriously, “Proposal?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, we are not-we’re not together. We're just friends.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Laura smirks. “I remember we used to be that.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They grin, sitting next to her again, “Yeah, right. But whoever or whatever it is, I’ll be with you, okay?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It feels like the air is a little bit of swirling around Natalie and Laura, Alex rises her eyebrows to Kara who makes a ‘oh shit’ face of what the fuck is going on between Natalie clears their throat, grabbing for the folded up sweatpants. “You are changing clothes?” Laura asks before Natalie is shimmying out of their blood stained, ripped jeans in front of everyone (subtlety was never their best suit) and pulling the pants up, running. a hand in their hair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Let's get to work, shall we?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex grabs her tablet, muttering, “Depends on what kind of work you want to practise on.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's almost like tip toeing around the DEO, sneaking, it's like after all that's happened, Natalie shouldn't be here. And Lena told them the whole “you're not a Gortman” type of speech like how she was always told she isn't a Luthor, or so more of a xenophobic and world killing Luthor. So tiptoeing around until the DEO since they were…..well, arrested, it seems a little bit exposing until they slip into a couch room and-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You are going to propose?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Damn, no privacy. Turning, styrofoam cup ready for the stalest coffee in this joint, swallowing. “What's in the past is in the past right?” And nobody should be mad at sunshine, puppy like Ruby Arias but all people, have a different side to them. And they saw Ruby's the other day. It doesn't matter, Natalie has had their fair share of lashing out at someone and crying afterwards several times, almost regretting the words a second later.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You loved me that much?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It was years ago Ruby, things change.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It doesn't seem like we did.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's like a sting, right through their arm vein when she places a hand on their chest, eyes wide and fearful, not even knowing what she's doing makes their heart pound, she's so close and they've wished her to be this close to have the type of love that Alex and Maggie have, she's so close- “Stop. You're with her. Remember? You're happy with her, Ruby. She's good, a nice person and it seems like you need that especially right now.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tears well in Ruby’s eyes, hands tugging their shirt. “But I need you, you are…..I want you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No……you don't. I know you don't want me, Rubes, I'll be a friend though.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena hides behind the wall, seeing Ruby straighten up, whisper something and Natalie cracks a smile before their taking their coffee and turning, out the door. She has sympathy and offering her strength for the young Gortman, she grew up next in line to run a company, several actually, foster home to foster home, finding out her sexuality at the worst possible timing and not to mention being her true self; lesbian or not, good or not, corrupting the Luthor name. And the Gortman name, by the press.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Betrayal is in her daughter’s eyes when she goes to Natalie first, “Hey, where are you going? I thought we were going to review with Alex who…..who she is?” She knows who Laura is and they both know but it's an excuse for them to stay and guard like a dog.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eyes skittering across the room, it's all….cold. Not temperature room cold but with their name on record and a pair of specific DEO handcuffs on their wrists a few weeks ago, but just sickeningly cold of their stares. Alex, specifically and oddly enough. “I gotta get back to the company- Dad will be wrecking another jar.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Your father hates jam.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And……and yes, I mean plate. For dinner.” They correct themselves, backing away when Lena raises an eyebrow in suspicion and cocks her head knowingly, tapping the elevator button hard. “For dinner. We love dinner. Huge, sibling dinner tonight. Love you!” They yell before it beeps with the elevator closing a second later. They blow out a fresh of air, god they don't know how long they can do it for much longer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie's week couldn't get any busier. They let their head fall into their hands as soon as one of their assistants, Lydia, they think, the click of the door shutting. Between damage control of the bust in doors by the NCPD and Supergirl making her own entrance between the fourteenth and sixteen floors and dealing with the paparazzi outside, helping the DEO to find out who is after Laura and making time to be a parent and a semi-decent girlfriend; it's like they're drowning.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They know Laura is understanding, she's trying to learn English with Alex right now, they are putting more hours at the Garage to try and pay their bills at the end of the day and trying to keep Gortman Inc., together, but only on the sidelines and not putting on the crown to run it. Lena has left six messages and two missed phone calls on their phone but they didn't even hear it buzz on the table in the last meeting, needing to make sure they eat and sleep at least once a day knowing how the work days just zoom by. Due to her own powers, she checks on them at least before twelve a.m to get them to sleep and oky working 25% of the time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>One grumpy, ignoring Arias girl is enough but dealing with two is a complete different story. Angelena, has telepathy and shield projection; showing people her feelings at…..nine months old. She knows Natalie is gone for some type of work. She knows they are gone for days sometimes (part of the co parenting court deal). They know she loves spending time with Ruby but sadly, it doesn't make them the top on her favourite people list. When they have her, she cries and cries until she wakes up around three a.m and sleeping in Natalie’s bed instead, (cooing and a hand clenched onto Laura's shirt as well) not settling into her own crib.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So, yeah.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And not to mention trying to stay sober during all of this, sneaking a cup or two in the night after Angel is conked out and won't wake until ten in the morning, denying Laura any because of the medication she's prescribed for pain.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But Laura is at the DEO, Angel is at daycare (Ruby absolutely hates when they do this but they're tired, they're hungry and she doesn't have her until Monday so she technically can't parent trash her until eight in the morning on Monday) and a tap on their window makes their hand come up to their pounding head, scrunching their eyebrows. “I paid for the ticket, if you want double, you could have just said so.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But it's not the police officer who charged them for their rental car to be in a parking zone and they tossed a few bills out but it's Maggie. Like…..Maggie. Maggie, that turned into a pile of smush all because of a certain redhead. “Kiddo, come on, you know you can't park here, you and I both know for damn sure you can't sleep either.” Man, they sort of hate how Maggie knew them before. How awkward to walk in Lena’s mansion to see her, arms full of a redhead and probably the most happiest than Natalie’s ever fucking seen her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Come on, open.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Can't you just go save some kittens from a tree or something?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No I can't. Don’t make me break your window.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That gets them moving, taking the keys, their backpack on the floor and tipping Maggie’s hat brim with their flask as a hello greeting. “It's not my car, so please.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Taking off her hat and taking the flask from their grip, she puts the pen and note pad away. But her eyes spring up, brown and sad, mostly brown, looking them down and up with the clothes they've worn the past two days, changing wardrobes in the bathrooms and their apartment like clock work. “Kiddo, what's going on with you? Alex said you are a little…..distant.” As if they didn't dig their own hole to step on but they shrug, taking it back and swigging back, leaning against the car for support</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Fine, just busy. Parents still suck. Baby mommy is still a…..” Maggie looks to them, like don't you dare and they sigh, because what’s the point if nobody really knows what it's like, turning on their heel and down the street to their apartment complex sixteen blocks down. And their phone rings, buzzing and for a second they dead to pick up if it's Alex but it’s Ruby, “Yes? Love of my life, girl of my dreams and the woman who carried my child, what ever could I do for for you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A scoff. “Whatever. And why am I watching you walk down the street, looking like you got beat up and hair a mess?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You used to like my hair.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You look homeless.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They spot the paparazzi people (not so greatly) hiding behind a bush and exposing them, running a hand through their hair. “You take that back. And nothing, I’m fine just….a late night that’s all.” Late nights have been around lately, sometimes they drive to Midvale just for Eliza’s pancakes and her company, she didn't lose her lover to death, just by choice to leave. She's wise, almost more than Alex and sometimes they need love, no judgment or anything and sometimes only Eliza can do that for them, mother or not.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And missing Ruby.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She's talking to them, about some weird thing Morgan does to her coffee that tastes suspiciously perfect and how she smiles, how happy Ruby sounds. And she's across the city, in Kara and Lena's house, painting with Kara before she's called to a Supergirl emergency and….it's silly, she's here. Months ago, she was in a coma and not saved by Supergirl this time, planning her funeral and they weren't ready to raise a child by their own, alone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But now it's like, she's happy and she has her memories and she's…..moved on. They aren't. They act like they are but with years schooling their resting face it's perfect and cool and prestige; all as a Gortman is. They aren't. It's so annoying. “I gotta go, Rubes.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And they're ducking into the apartment doors before they're jiggling the key in the hole before it's open (not surprisingly) and the faint smell of booze and burnt food welcoming them like a cold, fatherly hug. There's about the whole band in their apartment; Adam is on the couch with a phone on his chest and they faintly see Micheal’s picture on the screen. Huh. New phone. Georgia is to their very close, close left, curled up on the kitchen table with a full ash tray beside her and her rainbow dyed mullet covering her face</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Loud snores fill the air as well, their new band drummer, Stella, they think, on the floor in a (very) uncomfortable position before their opening the fridge, pulling a beer out and a little cup of fruit out. They never thought their friends, closest friends would be sleeping and partying and comfortable in their apartment without them even being here and the spoon shaky lifts to their lips with a smile on their face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's when they show up to Lena and Kara’s house, rare these days, Morgan opens the door, their heart breaking again to see her in Ruby's clothes that they used to wear, rubbing her eye and she's obviously made a spot in the house here- not the time. Right. But they shove past her, placing Angel and her in her car seat on the hallway dresser, asleep and plushed with blankets. “Natalie, what are you even doing-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Shh, quiet. I’m pretty sure someone is following me but I needed to get Angel here- Ruby would never forgive me.” They take the hand off of her talking mouth before running up the stairs, wincing at the mud they dragged in on the clean floors, up the three flights and not bothering to look at a naked Ruby, covering herself with a blush. “Look, someone might be out side, take her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Her brown eyes widen, looking out her window. “And?! You brought them here, what are they-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Angel’s car seat is in Ruby’s hands before they're being pushed in by someone coming in the three fucking story window, glass tinkling and Ruby’s powers kicking in, placing a protective force field in the corner to protect herself and Angel, “I told. You. So!” Their fist connects within the wall as they miss the man’s head, chuckling and thrown at the door that opens, revealing Lena and Kara, barely awake before they're thrown right in front of Lena’s feet.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Kara.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The door is locked, the children is off in the room but with them scrambling up, Lena punches the man, her face going from surprise to pain in humour in seconds, holding her hand, “You fucking bitch! My- fuck, my hand, fuck!-“ She's thrown the next, it's like he's just tossing them like footballs now, groaning.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kara is going out the door with the sleeping, half asleep walking children and Angel’s carrier in her hand, Alex on the line in her ear.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Kara, we got your distress signal- what's happening?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And at the same moment, Natalie is falling backwards out of the window, glass tinkling and falling on the front yard, right on their back. Morgan makes a face, none of them know whether if it's disappointment or sympathy, “Theu do train right?” And oh fucking shit, Morgan Edge Jr., does not know Natalie is a…..well, half Daxamite. Ruby’s eyes widen, being pushed by Kara to wait for Alex and the DEO to arrive with Natalie fighting on the front yard, knees shaking and body sore.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Fuck! You!” A punch in the face gets them shoved again, their knee kicked out but with reflexes, they're on his neck, knees squeezing on either side of his windpipe, his hands patting and yanking on their pants, “Fuck! You! Fuck! You! Fuck! You! Fuck. You.” He drops unconsciously on the grass, snow and dirt all over them from dancing and it almost makes Kara laugh despite how uncomfortable she is, seeing Natalie have to fight them off without her help and her suit on</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(She's happy for Ruby but pretending not to say alien jokes 95% of the time is harder than she expected in front of Morgan.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The man breathes louder than a second later and a kick to the ribs to stay quiet by Natalie really makes her laugh, “Natalie, I think he's okay now sweetie.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They huff, sitting on the ground beside him, blood dripping out of their nose and light is in their eyes, car headlights to be exact that blind them, Alex climbing out of drivers seat a second later, “Well, shit.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The plan is to go to the DEO, get freshened up and treated medically by Alex because the bruise around their left eye and the way they're limping but when they step in the DEO medical bay, Laura slaps them across the cheek, hard. “You puto, be fucking careful next time you-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Woah, woah, woah, you do not get to slur name me!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Like that's a slur, you- you, half of a ma-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I didn't even do anything, he pushed me first!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You, child. Do you have a phone?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What a turn of events or Alex hoisting them on the bed from their arms, cutting right through the frabic and Laura's eyes drift to their…..very, muscled tone body to the phone in their hand, picking the phone instead. “You have a flip phone? What are you, a hundred years old?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I broke mine so I just got this one for like five bucks.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Where?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Wh-I don't know, Walmart I think? Adam has the receipt.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex rubs her temples, trying to pick out the certain lighting for a particular nasty cut on Natalie’s shoulder, snapping her fingers. “Hey, I’m going to be operating on their arm, so, don't push or anything. And, you, need to take your medication, we were preparing for that young lady.” She points out to Laura about it, she's on a schedule of sorts to get her body used to not being on flight or fight mode about 24/7 of the time and with medication and not so subtly sleeping over at Natalie’s apartment.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She did find them in the same bed though, nine in the morning is when she’s subscribed to but with six other teenagers in their house and finding her head leaning on their bare chest and sheets tangling around them- let's say she left in a hurry to rant about it to Maggie, hushing into the phone and both of them laughing a second later.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, go take them, I don't need you in trouble too.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She scoffs, flipping them off before she's going with one of the doctors, “You first.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So……” Alex drawls a little bit later, they're still sitting upright on the bed, supported by the bed handle so they don't have to actually hold their weight while she's operating on them, seeing their cheeks blush and not from the adrenaline running, she know when they are crushing on someone to see that relationship evolve between them and Ruby. But this? Is different. “How long have you two known each other?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie smiles, like they're trying to look back over their shoulder and not just physically. “Professionally or personally?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why not both?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm…..well, I was in and out of foster homes until I was fourteen and adopted by Dad, mere days later but she was in the streets, trying to get to Mexico.” Laura had been trying to get to the sourthern border with her Mother (or maybe her Aunt, Natalie doesn't know) for months until she found a ride, help by Natalie. “She was quiet, always quiet but she started talking when I used Dad’s money to get her two bus tickets- she was gone hours later with her bag and left a note saying to call the number if I ever needed it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And did you?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“No. I didn't seem to, Laura was looking for her Dad and I couldn't stop her if I could.” They swing their feet. People go and leave. People have their own shit to do, breaks ups happen, work goes on and off, people are still waiting for their time to shine. People want to be remembered and they don't know if they went to be, as Ruby Arias’s ex-partner, Ruby Arias’s co parenting partner or by the CEO of Gortman Inc. But Laura still sees them as the young, long blonde haired girl with wide blue eyes and crying herself to sleep every right for their brother to come and save them and take them out of a foster home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Plus she- she lost everything, what's more to it, I'd rather be a friend than…..not. I haven't seen her in eight years but she's still the same as I remember.” Alex stills, cocking her head because she's- listen, Ruby will always be her family and a daughter to Alex but she realizes how protective she is to the ones she loves that she doesn't see…..the ones she doesn't. Protective is a strong word but slamming the door on Natalie's face last month when they relapsed- wow, what an asshole she really is.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie does look over their shoulder to her hot cheeked, full of shame expression. “It's okay. You love her, you are going to do some asshole things to protect Ruby.” They turn back, letting herself work finally. “Rao knows I would but- it's okay, Alex. You're not a monster for having feelings.” Alex has always struggled with having feelings to oht others first, like taking care of Kara will always be her goal at the end of the day even if she is a Mom of six or one, that's her baby sister. And expectations of Eliza. And expectations of this job so sometimes she does need to hear that, a lot from Maggie.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You can come out now, I know you're there.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby comes into the doorway, clenched jaw and crossing her arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You okay? How is angel?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Sleeping, again. I just fed her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You should rest some more before the sun comes up.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Don't tell her what to do.” Morgan snips. Like Natalie didn't save her life but she's probably embarrassed to be saved, by her girlfriend’s ex fiance and watching them be tossed around like a dog’s toy.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby scoffs, leaving before her and they grin, beckoning Morgan closer with open arms but she steps one inch in, crossed arms still and a steel gaze. “What? You here to tell me how to be a better girlfriend than you are?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They nod, flexing their shoulder with the bandage taped on by Alex taking off her gloves and starting to clear the tray of the supplies, wiping the blood off their cheek. “She’s a stress eater. She’ll be snappy and her moods will be down and up and that's when you go to Big Belly Burger, get the biggest burger there is. She'll love it. Food, is a big one of hers but physical touch isn't the strongest suit, neither is sex if you are boning her and not using her for the frontline pages. She also likes candles. You ever watch ‘The 100’ tv show? Lexa is her favourite character but she won't admit it because of the death- she loves candles. Violet ones.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“And why would I…..why are you telling me this?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie slips through the DEO black cotton shirt, shrugging. “You are good for her, I don't know. I never did the stuff you did- I hated the paparazzi. I hate restaurants. I never liked going to a fine dining place but Ruby loved it, especially with Lena. You, you know the business industry, you know how to wear a dress and not a binder.” They look her up and down. “Lesbians can wear binders too, sorry to offend. You know all that stuff, run a company, be a good girlfriend. I was never that.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby clamps a hand over her mouth, turning the corner before she can hear anymore, neck straining when she sucks a breath in, guilt consuming her but she isn't there before Natalie is going off to find Laura, looking both ways down the hallway to find it empty.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'll do a backstory a few chapters later !</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. lose yourself (not a reference to the rapper)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Not even a day later is when they check their phone, three in the morning something with Adam beside them, making music in their studio upstairs when they tell Georgia to hold it and turn the music down. It goes from a night club to dead silence in seconds when they dial the number that's trying to not snap the phone in half, taking off their headphones, “What the hell were you thinking?! I get in shit for hanging out with her and then you hang out with her and the city is calling you the newest couple?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby turns, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, actually, because I’m not a fucking-……you know what, never mind. Never mind-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby looks around them to Alex at the round table taking with Brainy about something before taking their arm and pulling them into a supply closet. “ Because you're not a Gortman, yeah, okay but whenever I do something, I don't have Mommy to come rescue my ass.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby rolls her eyes, hard and leaning against the wall of the 10 x 10 four times to be a closet, “Oh whatever, you would cry Father anytime you had to wipe your fucking ass.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natalie blinks, trying to not let themselves hyperventilating while swinging the door open, striding down the hallway in three strides but they stop, almost barrelling over Lena, crossed arms and eyebrow raised up. They sigh, being trapped (not really, they can shove her off but they would never-) and growls out, “You don't know shit about the world! You don't know what it's like to be on the streets, cold and so fucking hungry it takes you nights to be raped to get food from them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And i'm not comparing pain and suffering with yours, you're Ruby Arias, you got it all. You didn't die, you didn't get shot, you didn't do shit but be the hero and get all the fucking credit!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“My powers saved me!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They scoff, shaking their head. “And you couldn't have left? You had to fight and find out why Marcus wanted you except your fucking heart to stop?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Natalie.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So you don't think I should have saved all of them?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A Super, always having to be a hero whether you like it or not. “I think you should have looked yourself first, yeah, you were going after CADMUS and working with Natasha Romanoff but you're not even nineteen, if the government catches you on the run then you're dead. You were working at the DEO at sixteen. I'm just saying it seems like a cult to be in and I don't want to be a part of.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But-but you said you supported me working at the DEO?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They swallow, sitting down at one of the chairs. Of course they would, why wouldn't they? “Of course I do, that's why I’m so mad now.” Looking to Ruby as she leans on her cane, neck brace and her gold necklace shinning on her black DEO shirt. “I'd do anything for you, you know that.” It's sort of hard to believe but they would, hell, they tossed the ring in the school field just to prove Ruby wrong that a ring doesn't necessarily mean a thing shows their love for her (ten million dollars down the drain) but they sigh, looking to her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I get Angel from Tuesday to Friday, right?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Y-yeah. Yes. Yes.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They nod, “Okay. See you then.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Alex is called, Ruby wants to scream but she doesn't, the main door of the house opening and the thud of it closing after the rumble of her motorcycle turning off in the driveway. She comes into view, brown pants and a white button up under her black suit jacket, currently not in the field for the DEO today, leaning against the door frame and just watching her but Ruby doesn't move, focusing on her computer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You quit?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby opens her mouth, allowing it to flow the truth out. “James, he's been helping me for awhile to get to it.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex most know it of the accusatory tone in her voice when she slowly puts the computer down for her to focus on it right now and the conversation, “Ruby, I’m worried about you. We're all extremely worried about you since you quit working at the Garage, I- did your college applications come on in?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby sighs, “It isn't the point for me anymore.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You spent years wanting to be a technician- you love motorcycles! And bikes! And cars, trucks- I know that little girl is in there when I offered her a helmet the second time and I rode you around for days.” It's true and it makes Ruby’s heart clench like a sponge inside, she does remember when her Mother was running around as Reign, Alex distracted her with dying her hair blue (which her Mother would not allow her to do) getting her a motorcycle to ride and go to the carnival with a three thousand year old dude and god, she misses Marvin.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It was a waste of time.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex laughs. Laughed. “I would love to see you tell Winn that, he helped you tremendously through this as well.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“There's nothing to talk about, it’s done!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex scoffs, taming herself to not shake Ruby by the shoulders (her injuries and her healing broken back would. It like that) and ask who the hell she think she is to give up like this. “I've taken my time and space to not prod you, we have all been walking around eggshells on you to not interrupt your pity party, but now? Now we need to talk, now we need to discuss other, future things, we've invited you many times to the house, to the bar, to start being yourself again.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“There's nothing to go to!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, tell me what it is like then!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby whips around, holding onto the counter beside her to balance herself, “Okay! Fine. If your bestfriend is a good person, does all the good in the world and you're not that good, and then dies in your arms that was your fault, how would you feel? Micheal was the best person I knew, he gave up his spot in the adoption houses for his little siblings to have a better life, he wanted to be a reporter, he wanted to be a writer. And then he died in my arms, he bled out- I hear him asking if he was dying everyday.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby sucks a breath in, her whole body shaking. “You- you would be broken. You'd be at the bar every n-night, you would be a wreck at work. You- you would be broken.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex nods, having a conversation way too familiar like this when Kara has an outburst of choosing Kara Danvers or Supergirl. She would be if James or Winn or Vasquez or Maggie or anyone would be like that, she would be. “You're right. I would be. I can't lie about that, I wouldn't be okay, I wouldn't be happy, I wouldn't be close to being happy even though I have the perfect, vanilla white family of two boys and Maggie. I have both, I chose kids over Maggie and I wasn't happy.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But I should be, I have Ive dreamed as a kid. I can fly, I’m the same as Supergirl and I was so happy when Mom was but it wasn't what I dreamed of, she…..you guys lied to me about where she was to protect me and now,…..” She trails off, looking to the photo on the wall of the only one that's up of Samantha Arias and its her and Quinn when he was adopted by them. “If I could be a Super, why else would I want to be that sad, pathetic girl who lost everyone around her, her partner, her bestfriend, I don't want to be that girl, Alex.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“But that's who you are, you did lose a lot of people in the shooting, in your job but that's life, shit like that, it happens. The Ruby Arias I know would never give up.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ruby in denial, swallows and sits back down, “That girl you knew five years ago is gone, she-“ She looks to the wall of the pictures, one of Angel’s sonogram, one of her and Quinn when they first adopted them, a random one of her and Natalie but she doesn't remember them, she can't remember them and she hates it. “She’s gone. If you think she's coming back, she’s not.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Alex bites her lip, seething but her words come out as fierce and believing when Ruby doesn’t want to believe the girl she was will come back, it's been months without her memories- she knows basic things, sometimes she does remember things but they come in waves. She's hoping for a hurricane, Both of them are. “Ruby Arias is my favourite person. She saved me more times than some DEO agent ever could, so just…..think about that before you try and get rid of the girl who loves bikes and loves her daughter and knows who she is.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The slam of the door doesn't make her jump but when she knows Alex isn't waiting by the door for her to call her in, she bursts into tears.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The relationship with Mackenzie isn't even a relationship, they're just……she's not using Mackenzie, obviously but it's like seeing Natalie moving on is hard, it's like they're spacing out and moving away whenever Ruby moved closer. Not to mention them screaming at her in the middle of the DEO when she's trying to practise to run again, she can walk but they want her to do more physically movement things.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With her head in Mackenzie’s lap, she rubs her thumb in her bare knee, “What are you like?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The older girl sighs, she's in Ruby’s sweater and jeans because she can't handle wearing the tight to skin, business clothes like she does at work, trying to be a woman of power and a woman aged twenty three. And Ruby would let her do anything to feel comfortable even with braiding her hair for hours on end, back and forth, over and under. “You know my story, my uncle is Morgan Edge, I was raised in Gotham but I never liked it being in the spotlight until a few months later and-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Not your media outlet story, I mean your real life one. Not everyone starts off in heels and lipstick.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It seems like you did.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Right because I was twelve and spotted eating ice cream with Mom and J-Mama Kara.” She almost keep saying Jeju which is Mom in Kryptonian and what they all call Kara but Mackenzie doesn't know, like she doesn't think she spent a lot of time lying to Natalie even before they knew their family was a Kryptonian family. It wasn't easy to keep it a secret but it was just…..natural, there were more walls down. “But that was when Samantha went missing, I stayed in the city to be taken care of by them and the police for any evidence……yeah.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“When was the last time you talked to……her?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's a soft subjects that they both have witnessed on each other, not asking questions about Morgan, not asking questions about Samantha, both gone and both……busy. “Um…..the week before graduation actually- we sort of got in a fight, I wanted to go to Metropolis with Lena and she said I should go with her because she's my mother and Lena isn’t……” She grins you Angel whose doing her tummy time on the carpet, she looks so much like her mother that she loves and hates it. “I miss her.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Angel lets out a ear splitting squeal that makes her wince. She's also very…..not bossy, but very consistent on what she wants even so little when Mackenzie is crawling on the floor, playfully digging her chin on her little chest, giving out a different kind of laugh, joyful. “You laugh just like your Mommy,” Mackenzie whispers, cradling her head and body while getting up, sitting next to Ruby. It wasn’t that hard to get Angel warmed up to Mackenzie, almost immediately and she couldn't be any more bothered</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A timer goes off and Ruby gets up, grabbing a bib from the changing station  on the far living room, “Come on, sweet pea lunch.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena has seen many people date other people after marriages, after divorces, after just breakups and sometimes during a cheating scandal.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's common. It's natural.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But with seeing her daughter date someone else than Natalie Gortman is starting to make her……itch. It's not that she doesn't like it! She's so happy for her and for them, but with Kara having to make some excuse with the kids during dinner or when they're out at the park and Kara is gone from her side in seconds, saying something about Eliza and then having to reassure Mackenzie that she's fine and it's just a phone call……fuck it's exhausting.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even with Angelena, she almost has to send Angel physic messages to not show Mackenzie some messed up, weird memory of Natalie in spite. Not even a year old yet. It's annoying, like she's so tired to be pretending and if she's being honest, she's been spending more time at L-Corp with Natalie of the past two weeks than the whole year.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With Mackenzie stirring the chilli in the pot, Ruby having Quinn beside her colouring and…..she's happy. It's natural. They're happy. Together.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's the most weirdest feeling ever and yet when she hears Ruby crying at night, happy for Natalie but sad that it's too late, she gives a wink and follows to help chop the vegetables but her and Kara share a look; honesty. Distrust.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maybe it's all in their heads though.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maybe.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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